always grab my interest, but I’d made an effort over the years to quiz Zak and understand as much as I could. After all, he was the man I loved. The man I cared for. As his partner, it was my job to show him support.
Zak waited whilst the waiter poured our drinks and then left. He nodded and raised a glass. They clinked. The breadsticks arrived and he munched one down straightaway. Odd that he didn’t want to tell me about it, although he often said I served as a great distraction to business concerns.
I grinned. ‘Goodness, you have built up an appetite. So, what did you want to discuss?’ He could go first and then, totally relaxed, listen to my plans to take up my studies again. Whoop! Me designing again? Perhaps, one day, I’d develop my own range within Elite Eleganz or –
Ignoring my question, Zak cleared his throat. ‘Oh, I forgot to tell you. Chanelle rang. April left her cardigan behind.’
My brow knotted. ‘When did she call? You went out before me.’
He loosened his tie further. ‘She rang my mobile, to pick my brains about some bookkeeping course she’s thinking of doing.’
I grinned again. Zak couldn’t usually stomach much more than five minutes of her chat about fish pedicures or the Kardashians – although he and Chanelle did share a love of travel. Before meeting me, Zak had skied, sunbathed, and eaten his way around most of Europe.
I sat more upright. A bookkeeping course? Why didn’t that surprise me? Glamorous Chanelle was an odd mix. On the surface, she was your stereotypical trophy wife, loving the high life, the lunches, the spa trips, and manicures. Yet simmering beneath was a dogged determination to be more than arm candy – to make her own mark.
And perhaps this information was a perfect cue from the universe to talk about my prospective studies. Not that Zak would stop me. There’d been a shift in our relationship over the last few years. I’d matured. No longer saw him as the wise old man. Still loved and respected him, but was no longer so much … in awe.
‘I don’t know how Chanelle balances work with looking after the kids. I count my blessings that I’ve been able to be a stay-at-home mum,’ I said. ‘A choice that I’ve loved – looking after you two and running Elite Eleganz’s charity projects. But now April’s older, I was –’
‘Yes, and it’s made my work life easy,’ interrupted Zak, ‘us not having to both juggle professional commitments.’
I brushed the tip of my shoe up his muscular leg, under the table. ‘I’m so proud of how you’ve built up your parents’ business.’
He moved his leg away and shrugged again, before sipping his wine. Hmm. It wasn’t like Zak to play down a compliment.
‘So, Chanelle wants to do a course as well as working and looking after Skye? She’s superwoman. Although I was thinking –’
‘It’s strange that you two are such good friends. In some ways you’re so different.’ He stared at me for a moment and then studied the menu.
This was true. I gazed at him across the flickering candle. ‘I’ve changed since you and me first met though, don’t you think?’ I thought back to the younger me. ‘But then I was just nineteen, still worried about expectations, and your life seemed so daunting. I didn’t want to let you down; be an embarrassment. All your friends were so much older and spoke a language full of words like private jets, penthouse suites, and Michelin-starred restaurants … It took a while to get used to that.’
‘Yeah, well, circumstances force us to evolve,’ he muttered in a flat voice. ‘Come on. Let’s choose our starters.’
Knots formed in my stomach as the evening progressed. Not even the best tiramisu this side of the Channel put a smile on his face or a joke in his chat. Still, his sullen expression didn’t stop young female diners and waitresses shooting admiring glances his way – something I’d become accustomed to, over the years.
‘Zak – talk to me!’ I eventually said after the waiter delivered our coffees. ‘What’s on your mind?’
He glanced down at his cup.
‘Fine, then. I’ll start.’ Anything to break this strained silence. I took a deep breath. ‘I want to pick up my studies again. Lately, what with April being older, I … I need to design again, Zak. I’m going to get my old sketches down from the loft and –’
‘You? Go back to uni?’
I waited for him to ask why. Instead his face flushed and slowly he shook his head. He ran a hand through his untidy hair, lips firmly closed, eyes staring harder at his drink. An icy shard pierced my chest. What was going on? Zak didn’t do silence. He either agreed or disagreed vociferously, whether it was brainstorming a new charity idea or suggesting what we had for dinner. Did he really want a Stepford wife whose life consisted of being the perfect hostess and doing housework? He was in for a shock if he did.
‘Zak? I’m worried,’ I said gently and reached across the table. I squeezed his hand.
He pulled away and looked up. ‘You’re worried? About what? Which shoes to wear to your next lunch out? Well try living in my shoes for twenty-four hours.’
I gasped.
He held his head in his hands. ‘Sorry, baby,’ he said in a muffled voice. ‘It’s just …’
‘Tell me,’ I almost whispered. ‘It’ll be okay.’
‘Perhaps you should get a job instead of going back to college,’ he blurted out.
I leant back in my chair. Zak had always loved our traditional set-up – him out to work and me at home. Both his parents had worked full-time when he was little, and I got the feeling that Fifties-style family life was a fantasy he’d held for a long time. So why would he suddenly want me to earn?
A shiver slowly descended my spine. My voice wavered. ‘Is Elite Eleganz in trouble? Is that why you’ve been working so late? I assumed business was booming, but –’
Zak opened his mouth but nothing came out. Finally he nodded. ‘We’ll have to get rid of the Porsche. Forget holidays for a while. Cancel our tennis club membership. And April … I just don’t think we can afford the fees for Oakwood Towers any more. I’ve tried so hard to avoid this, but she’ll have to move to a state school.’
‘But April’s settled there!’ Was he mad? My throat went dry. Forget the material things and journeys abroad. April would hate moving. Leaving her friends. Being the new girl. ‘Surely we can work something out? Why didn’t you tell me before? And it’s mid-term … none of this makes sense.’
‘Sorry, Jenny,’ he mumbled. ‘I … I’ve let you down.’
‘You have.’ My eyes watered. ‘By not confiding in me all these weeks. Didn’t you imagine I could have helped, or at least shouldered the burden? I’m not just some piece of fluff who’s going to disintegrate if she can no longer afford Louboutins.’ My voice shook. ‘Look …’ I breathed in and out for a few moments. ‘Zak. Let’s think about this. There must be a way we can sort this out …’
‘I … I can’t do this. Not now,’ he mumbled and stood up, scraping his chair. Without a word he left the restaurant. My jaw dropped.
I
