he hadn’t been able to forget her had knocked him off balance. Made him wonder what it was his conscious mind didn’t see that his subconscious did.
“I can’t. I’m…I just can’t,” she said quickly, walking away without a backward glance.
He stood there.
Fair enough, he thought, but another part of him didn’t want to let her go.
He followed her out onto the terrace that overlooked Central Park. The sun was setting and she stood near the edge of the balcony with her face turned toward the tepid breeze that blew.
“Why?” he asked, staying where he was just on the threshold of the balcony.
“Why what?” she too asked, turning toward him. The wind blew her curly hair around her face and she reached up to push a strand back behind her ear.
“I guess I should have said why not?” he elaborated.
“Our friends are engaged now. They were just dating before,” she said. “Nothing has really changed. And I don’t want to have to start avoiding them.”
“What if things worked out between us?” he asked, taking a step closer.
“If you really believed that you wouldn’t have pushed me away that night at Olympus,” she said. “Let’s just be friends.”
“Friends?”
“We can do that right?”
“Yes,” he said. But inside, every male instinct he had said no. He’d been friend-zoned by the one woman who he couldn’t get out of his head. She haunted him night and day. He saw her in his dreams and thought of her when a meeting at work droned on. So how was he going to be “just friends” with her now?
Cici spent the next week avoiding her friends and staying in her office. She had to file their quarterly earnings so she was kept busy. She kept the door to her office closed but she still could hear the bustle of Hayley and her staff working in the kitchen.
Carolyn, the assistant manager of the store, had been bringing her fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate and apple and seltzer water iced drinks that kept Cici cool while she worked.
“Figured you could use one of these,” Carolyn said.
The other woman was five foot, five inches tall and wore her brown hair in a high ponytail. She had an easy smile and an aggressive eye for retail space. Every time Carolyn came into her office Cici suspected the woman was going to ask for more money.
“Thanks, I am thirsty.”
“Good, got a minute?” Carolyn asked.
“I do, but your budget is fixed,” Cici said with a smile as she took a sip of her cool drink.
“Oh, it’s not about the store. I heard you were subletting your place in Queens…”
“I am. But I already found someone,” Cici replied. “I didn’t know you were looking for a place.”
“I’m not really. Just thought I’d see what the rent was. My place is smallish.”
“I’ll keep my ear out,” Cici said.
“Thanks,” Carolyn said. “I’ll let you get back to it. Do you want your door closed?”
“Yes please. I need quiet for my work.”
But it was a lie. She was hiding.
She knew it and she suspected her friends did too, but they were giving her space.
She was the first of their group to be pregnant and she suspected, just like her, they didn’t know what to expect. Her mom, who Cici still hadn’t told about the pregnancy, had been texting her every day.
For some reason her mom had never fully grasped that her adult daughter had a real job and bills. She still wanted Cici to go on every family vacation and be available for any family gathering at the drop of a hat.
That’s why when her phone buzzed she ignored it. She didn’t want to see another smiling photo of her mom, stepdad and twin half-brothers on the steps of Machu Picchu.
She finished tallying up the last column of numbers and then set it aside to take another sip of her drink.
She picked up the phone, surprised that the message was from Hoop and not her parents.
Hoop: Hello, it’s Hoop. Hayley gave me your number. I’ve got an extra ticket to the Yankees game on Friday. Heard you’re a baseball fan. Wanna go? Just friends! :)
She leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling in her office. It was a faux exposed beam and plaster number that made the building seem like an idealized French country farmhouse.
Baseball. She loved the game. Before the twins were born, she and her stepdad had gone to every game. Her love of numbers had served her well because she remembered all the stats of players. She might not be able to remember other things but those stats had stayed with her.
Cici: Okay.
Hoop: Great. What’s your address? I’ll pick you up.
Cici: I can meet you there.
Hoop: Friends, right?
She sighed. This friend thing wasn’t as easy as she hoped. She was walking a fine line between letting him into her life and keeping him at arm’s length.
Cici: Yeah. Here’s my address.
Hoop: See you on Friday.
Cici: See ya.
She stood up and walked out of her office, determined to politely tell Hayley to stop playing go between with her and Hoop. But her friend was busy with one of the new apprentice candy makers at the marble countertops. So Cici walked into the retail shop instead.
They were busy for mid-afternoon but it was late May and some tourists whose kids were already out of school were taking a break from the heat and enjoying their famous Candied Apple & Cafe milkshakes.
She waved at the manager as she walked through the store and out onto the street. Immediately she wished she’d brought her sunglasses but she didn’t want to go back inside. Not yet.
She felt restless and she admitted to herself as she walked up Fifth Avenue, past all the shops and tourists, a little bit scared. When she got to St Patrick’s Cathedral, Cici walked up the steps and into the church.
It was cool and quiet inside and she made her way to one of the pews in the back of the church. She took a seat on the cold wooden bench and closed her eyes. In her head were images of the church from when she was younger and she heard the hymns of her youth playing in her mind. She sat there and quietly prayed as she did most days.
For guidance.
She had spent most of her life managing one crisis or another brought on by her
