The alchemists were early medieval ‘scientists’ who famously set out to change lead and other base metals into gold (in fact they were equally interested in achieving higher states of spirituality and consciousness). What you’ve done in the process above is another kind of alchemy. Instead of fighting with your irritation you’ve transformed it into something else.
You can also bring meta-awareness to body sensations. Maybe you notice a little tension in your shoulders, so you move your attention there and explore the sensation. Again, you don’t fight it, you don’t force anything. Instead you get interested and you explore – with kindness. Placing your attention in that tension, what’s there? Do any images come to mind? Any thoughts? That might be a clue. And if nothing comes to mind, that’s fine too. Just bring some warmth, some kindness to the tension. Maybe that will soften and ease it. And if it doesn’t, as best you can simply allow it to be as it is.
There are also all the rich and delicate sensations that come along with each breath. During Mind Time, you’re aware of these and you’re aware that you’re aware of them. That can come with a deep, settled sense of meta-awareness itself.
Finally, there’s the possibility of developing meta-awareness of your impulses. For example, you’ve decided that you want to do a Mind Time practice today but your to-do list keeps invading the practice. You work with it, noticing, allowing, letting go of it – over and over – but after seven minutes you lose your awareness. The list grabs your attention and, before you know it, you’ve got up and switched on your laptop.
As your meta-awareness develops through the practices, that scenario can play out differently. Your to-do list keeps invading your Mind Time. You keep working with it, gently and kindly returning your attention to the breath, and at minute seven you feel the impulse to get up and get on with your working day. But now you notice it. You feel the impulse. And you see it just as that. It’s an impulse. Just an impulse. You feel it, allow it, let it pass, and stick with the practice for three more minutes.
In this way, you’re developing the unusual skill of seeing impulses for what they really are – just impulses. Most of the time we don’t see our impulses in that way. They underlie all our behaviour, but they’re mainly invisible to us. There’s an impulse – so we act. We see the biscuits sitting on a plate on the kitchen counter and, without even noticing our impulse, we take one and eat it.
When, with meta-awareness, you’re better able to notice your impulses – and you can see them just as impulses – you get more choice. You see the biscuits, become aware of the impulse, and you decide. Do you want to eat one or not? You can choose.
That’s great for those of us who are concerned with piling on the calories, but it applies in so many other parts of life. Someone pushes into you in the street; you feel the impulse to say something harsh, but instead you respond more appropriately – and so on.
Allowing, inquiry and meta-awareness – AIM. Gradually, over time, if you can establish the habit of taking Mind Time regularly, your capacity for these builds. Then things will go better for you and for those whose lives you touch. But we also know that it’s never easy to establish a regular habit. Before you get going, therefore, there are a few questions you might want to think through.
Finding a good time for Mind Time
When in your day are you most likely to be able to commit to your 10 minutes of Mind Time? See if you can find a time when you won’t forget to do it and when you can be fairly sure you won’t be disturbed, get distracted or fall asleep.
It’s easier to build a habit if you can fit it into a routine. Would it work best for you first thing in the morning – before others are awake? Or perhaps, if you commute into work on a train or a bus, could you use your headphones to listen to audio instructions and do 10 minutes then? Might it work best as soon as you get to work or over a lunch break? Or perhaps when your home is quiet and there is some space in the evening before going to bed?
Finding a place for Mind Time
Choose a place where you won’t be disturbed or too distracted by things going on around you when practising. So, if your Mind Time is at home or at work, which room would be most appropriate? Is there a quiet meeting room that could be available at work (not the ‘glass goldfish bowl’ kind where everyone can see you)? Is there a place at home where others won’t disturb you? If you can find a particular space in a particular room which you can designate for your practice, that might help – but don’t worry if this is not possible – in the end the main thing is just do it.
If you will be practising on the move, don’t under any circumstances try to do these practices while driving, but if you’re regularly on a bus, train or plane, that might be a good time to set up your routine. A set of noise-cancelling headphones can help, but aren’t essential.
Seeking support from others
It can be helpful to have the support of your family, friends and colleagues when you begin Mind Time. Of course, you can’t expect them always to support you and we sometimes come across people who found that those closest to them definitely didn’t support them – occasionally even teasing them. See if you can find others who will support you. It’s helpful to tell a few people what you’re trying to do and why, and ask them to encourage, nudge and give you space.
It would be great if you could embark on the habit of Mind Time with someone else. Is there a friend or a colleague who is also interested? You could support and challenge each other to stick to the practice, discuss things when they get tough, and share stories of how your new skills are helping you both. You might even want to get together to practise. During our research, a few people who worked together booked a meeting room and set up a regular lunchtime Mind Time session together. It was one of the main reasons, they said, that they managed to stick with their practice and saw its benefits.
Knowing there is no ‘right’ way to do this
We often get asked the question: ‘Am I doing it right?’ Sometimes that’s because the person asking has misunderstood what we’re trying to achieve in Mind Time. There’s a widely held misunderstanding in our culture that in meditation you should somehow be able to get rid of your thoughts or stop your mind from wandering. It’s easy to become exasperated when, like almost everyone else, you become aware that your mind is all over the place and keeps wandering.
Our minds wander – that’s just what they do. And every time we notice that they’ve wandered is an opportunity to refocus. Doing this over and over lays down the neural pathways in our brain that help us to be aware and to focus outside meditation. Mind Time isn’t about stopping our thinking or feeling. It’s about noticing when we’ve forgotten to be aware and bringing ourselves back to awareness. Sometimes you’ll do this hundreds of times in just one session, and that’s not a bad thing – it’s great practice.
It takes a lot of patience to develop a new skill. If you ride a bike, it’s unlikely that you just jumped onto one on day one and pedalled off happily. It’s more likely that you fell off several times and got back on several times. That is just how we learn.
Notice what your expectations are regarding Mind Time. We can often expect quick results and continuous progress and that is not always realistic. There will be ups and downs, and change takes time.
So when might I see changes?
As we said, change takes time. We can’t exactly predict when and in what form it will occur. Our observation of the thousands of people who have attended courses led by one or other of us is that often they find that
