get into a mutually comfortable position. A good place to start is at the base of the spine, which is one of the main chakras (or energy points) of the body. From here, with your palms placed flat, glide your hands up the back on either side of the spine, towards the neck then across the shoulders and lightly back down along their sides. This motion can be repeated rhythmically to build up friction and heat along the spine. Keep contact with your lover at all times and avoid any sudden or jerky movements. Ask your lover where they would like you to massage them and what kinds of stroke and pressure they prefer. If you locate a particularly knotted or tight area, use your thumbs to knead it gently to help disperse the tension.
From the back, you can work your way down the body, first kneading the muscles of the buttocks with circular motions then massaging the upper thighs, the calves, ankles and feet. Pressing on various parts of the soles of the feet can be extremely stimulating and energizing. Turn your lover over and start by gently massaging their belly, then slide your hands upwards. The man can glide his hands around the outside of the breasts, circling them and lightly brushing the nipples with his palm as he does so.
Once your lover is fully relaxed, you can start to arouse them by using strokes that deliberately brush past their genitals. Each time you do this, linger a little longer, and when you sense that they are really turned on, you can slowly begin to masturbate them. Depending on your mood, you could bring your lover to orgasm and then lie next to them, letting them enjoy the sensation of being completely pampered, or you could continue with a warm and oily sex session.
‘And here may be learned the marks whereby beauty and good shape of body are distinguished. The maiden whose face is soft and pleasing as the moon; whose eyes are bright and liquid as the fawn’s; whose teeth are clean as diamonds and clear as pearls; whose neck is like a sea-shell; whose lower lip is red as the ripe fruit of the bryony; whose hair is black as the bee’s wing; whose skin is brilliant as the flower of the dark-blue lotus, or light as the surface of polished gold; whose feet and hands are red, being marked with a circle; whose voice is sweet as the Kokila-bird’s – such a girl should at once be married by the wise man.’
Ananga Ranga
The Yoni – Female Genitalia
‘…it being of four kinds: that which is soft inside as the filaments of the lotus flower, this is the best; that whose surface is studded with tender flesh-knots and similar rises; that which abounds in rolls wrinkles and corrugations; that which is rough as the cow’s tongue.’
Ananga Ranga
In Hindu culture, the vagina is represented by a downward triangle or trikona, being the symbol of Shakti, the divine female energy. But while the yoni was revered as the source of creation, it was also feared. The ancients believed that, like a mouth, it swallowed up and consumed the male seed. One of the many colourful names for the vagina from the Perfumed Garden – El âddad or The Biter – shows how the vagina was a symbol of man’s unconscious fear that a woman might eat or castrate her partner during intercourse!
The female genitals are made up of several parts. The vagina is the inner part and has an average length of four inches, the G-spot located inside the first inch. The vulva is the external part of the genitals incorporating the mons pubis (or pubic mound), the labia, and the clitoris – one of the most sensitive points on a woman’s body. The visible part, the glans, is located under the folds of skin where the labia meet at the top. This is connected to a whole network of sensitive erectile tissues extending to the pubic bone and the perineum, which swell with blood and become firm during arousal.
The Lingam – Male Genitalia
‘His member should be of ample dimensions and length. Such a man ought to be broad in the chest and strong in the buttock; he should know how to regulate his ejaculation, and be quick to erect; his member should reach to the end of the canal of the female, and completely fill the same and all its parts. Such a one will be well beloved by women.’ Perfumed Garden
The penis is a universal symbol of fertility, and a potent image at the centre of many god-dominated religions. As the consort of Durga or Kali, Shiva is the erect phallus – a symbol of that which is invisible yet omnipresent – and his virile lingam is held in reverence in Hindu temples all over India, generally mounted on a circular or quadrangular receptacle called the Avudaiyar. In the Kama Sutra, men were put into three categories – the hare man, the bull man, and the horse man – according to the size of their penis, so that they would correspond with the right woman according to the depth of her vagina. This even fit made for ‘equal union’.
The head of the penis, the glans, is connected to the shaft by the frenulum, a thin and very sensitive stretch of skin. The shaft of the penis contains three tubes, which engorge with blood during arousal, causing the penis to swell quickly, whilst muscles at the base of the shaft contract simultaneously to stem the blood flow and help maintain erection. (The Kama Sutra talks of certain Apadravyas, or objects which are put on or around the penis in order to supplement its length or thickness.) Sperm is produced in the testicles, which are enclosed in the scrotum, which hangs below the penis. Learning to control ejaculation is essential for the enjoyment and prolonging of intercourse. As the Kama Sutra states, ‘if a male be long-timed the female loves him the more, but if he be shorttimed, she is dissatisfied’.
The Breasts
‘The Yakshasatva-stri has large and fleshy breasts with a skin fair as the white champa flower; she is fond of flesh and liquor; devoid of shame and decency; passionate and irascible, and at all hours greedy for congress.’
Ananga Ranga
Every culture in the world appreciates breasts. As well as being visually pleasing, they are also powerful symbols of motherhood, nourishment and protection – the place we instinctively turn to as soon as we emerge from the womb.
For many women, the breasts are a highly sensitive erogenous zone. When aroused, the nipples harden (although it is quite common for only one nipple to be erect) and the areola becomes darker in tone. During lovemaking they provide a powerful visual and tactile stimulus for the man, but he should be aware that the breasts can be sensitive and tender and should be handled gently and not squeezed too hard.
The bosom is a warm and comforting place to nuzzle into or it can become a playground for fun and fantasy. Why not sprinkle rose petals across your lover’s chest while she is lying on her back, or drip cream, yoghurt or some other delicacy over her nipples and then slowly lick it off. In the bath, cover her breasts
