Almost dead on her feet, she ignored whoever it was and flicked on the kettle, spooning several heaped teaspoons of cocoa into a mug. However, the knock came again, louder this time. Rather than have the unwelcome visitor wake Chas, she padded to the door and opened it a fraction.
‘What are you doing here?’
Her response sounded sharper than she intended and Riley stiffened, a tiny frown appearing between his brows.
‘I just wanted to make sure you were okay. After today…’ He trailed off and for a guy at the top of his field, one of Australia’s number one stockbrokers, he appeared uncertain.
Guess she had that effect on the Bourke men. Once the initial spark had faded, Joe had been uncertain of everything where she’d been concerned: uncertain if she was the woman for him, uncertain if she was wife material, uncertain if he wanted anything to do with her and her child as he’d insisted on calling Chas.
‘I’m fine,’ she snapped, the pain of Joe’s attitude towards Chas stabbing her anew.
Riley pinned her with a glare, the intensity behind the steady blue-eyed stare making her squirm. What was it about this guy that made her feel helpless? She’d been that way ever since he’d bustled into the apartment a few hours after Joe’s death, taking charge of arrangements, snapping orders into his mobile phone, delegating jobs like a king. Introverted in her grief at the time, she’d let him take charge.
He appeared smarter, stronger and bigger than everything around him, capable of handling anything and more. In a way, he intimidated her. He’d intimidated her when they’d first met but then she’d been so ga-ga over Joe that night at the ball she’d barely noticed his serious—though just as cute—older brother.
Cute. What a joke. Nothing about Riley was cute. With his dark hair, piercing blue eyes and tall, athletic frame, striking would be more appropriate. Even sexy, though she couldn’t equate the words sexy and Riley in her mind in the same sentence right now.
‘You sure about that? You don’t sound fine to me.’
He hadn’t budged and, by the determined expression on his face, he wouldn’t till she convinced him she really was okay.
Sighing, she unchained the door and swung it open. ‘I am, but I can see you’re not leaving in a hurry so you may as well come in and have a cuppa with me.’
‘Not the most gracious of invitations but you’re right, I’m not leaving here till I know you’re okay.’
‘What are you doing for the next twenty years then?’ she muttered under her breath.
Thankfully, Riley chose to ignore her sarcastic comment and followed her into the kitchen, his presence dwarfing the tiny chrome and black space.
‘What’ll you have?’
‘Coffee is fine,’he said, grabbing a carton of milk out of the fridge and a clean mug off the sink, looking more at home in the kitchen than Joe ever had.
Stop it! Stop comparing him to Joe.
She blinked, almost surprised at her inner voice chastising her like that. For a girl who’d hardly noticed Riley when they’d first met, she was certainly making up for lost time and making unfavourable comparisons between the brothers to boot!
Joe had been cocky, brash and fun-loving.
Riley was serious, thoughtful and responsible.
Joe had hogged the limelight and adored being the centre of attention.
Riley faded into the background, preferring to take control from the sidelines.
Joe had some hang-up with winning.
By all counts, Riley was a winner; his reputation in the business world spoke for itself.
However, there was one area where the brothers couldn’t compare.
Joe had said he loved her, though she’d discovered that wasn’t true.
Riley obviously tolerated her for the sake of Chas. She’d seen it after Joe’s death and earlier today at the funeral: the curiosity, the censure, the pity.
And she hated it.
He probably thought she was a pathetic basket case but at least he’d been there for her, for Chas, at a time when she’d needed him the most. Which was more than she could say for anyone else in her lifetime, including her mother.
‘How did the wake go?’ she asked, more out of something to fill the growing silence than any burning need to know.
Riley’s lips compressed into a thin line. ‘People stayed as long as the finger food and alcohol kept coming. A few blokes retold some of Joe’s tall tales. That’s about it.’
‘Guess I wasn’t missed then.’ She couldn’t keep the irony from her voice though she couldn’t fathom the answering flicker of something dark and mysterious in his eyes.
‘Joe knew you loved him. He wouldn’t have needed to see you schmoozing with his phoney mates to prove that.’
‘I guess you’re right,’she said, guilt piercing her soul. She could hardly face the truth even in the deepest part of her, too horrified to admit that she hadn’t loved Joe.
She had at the start. At least, she’d thought she did. Maybe it had been infatuation, maybe it had been a plain old-fashioned crush. She’d been so naïve, so clueless when it came to men that she’d fallen for the first classy guy to look her way, wanting to believe his smooth lines, wanting to believe that he loved her. For someone who’d never known real love growing up, it had been a heady experience.
‘Look, this isn’t any of my business but I know you two had problems and I hope you’re not beating yourself up over them. Joe was fun and spontaneous and affectionate but he could also be a selfish brat.’
Maya didn’t question how Riley knew about her relationship troubles with Joe. She didn’t have to. It hung unspoken in the tense, awkward silence between them and she jumped in relief when the kettle whistled.
‘Joe and I didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of issues but then I guess that’s part of being a couple,’ she said, pouring boiling water into the mugs, grateful to concentrate on such a mundane task and not have to see the look of judgement on Riley’s face.
Riley was a smart guy and a smart guy would’ve read between the lines and known the argument he’d overheard the night of Joe’s death had only been tip of the iceberg stuff.
A smart guy would’ve twigged that things had been worse. A lot worse.
She’d wanted to explain, to smooth things over with the brother-in-law she never knew but her good intentions had blown up in her face. More to the point, Joe had blown up in her face.
‘Why did you come around that night?’
No use glossing over it. Riley had brought up the subject; she may as well finish it.
He shrugged, wrapping his hands around the coffee mug she handed him
