But I believe I can do this. More than that, I want to do this. It sounds like a really good fit for me. I just told Laurel to pray for change. I’m ready for a little change in my life.”
Great. So now this crazy scheme was the answer to a prayer. “So now if I protest I’m keeping you from doing what God wants you to.”
Claire bristled. “I didn’t say that. Is there something else you’d rather see me doing?” She looked so determined. And so appealing, eyes sparkling, lips in a decisive pout.
“Not really. It just seems like they’re taking advantage of your good nature in a big way. I mean, I wouldn’t volunteer to take on a project like this for anything. It would be stupid.”
Her mouth compressed. “Well, maybe that’s just the difference between us, then. I won’t make a decision tonight, anyway. I need to think on it, pray on it.”
“And sleep on it?” Ben tried not to sound suggestive. Claire knew how he felt, anyway. He was as hopeless in his admiration of her as he had been fifteen years ago. Why was he arguing against this crazy scheme? It would probably keep her from being interested in any changes he made at work in the near future. And that would be a very good thing.
“And sleep on it.” Funny, it sounded different when she said it. Like she actually intended to sleep. Ben tried not to sigh or look too wishful. That would just get her more stirred up than she already was.
On Wednesday morning Claire was still thinking and planning. She hadn’t given anybody an answer at church on whether she’d take over The Caring Closet, but she was pretty sure she would. It sounded like a lot of work, but interesting work.
In the long run it would be a project that helped so many people. Women who needed a way to improve their lives, and the lives of their children, would get help in a positive, encouraging way. And at the same time, a lot of people who had closets full of clothes they weren’t using could feel good about clearing those things out.
Claire thought about her own closet. There were several outfits that would be going to this ministry, whether she headed it up or not. That blue blazer she hadn’t worn since she stopped being president of the PTA. And there was that wool dress with the pleated skirt. Ben liked it on her, but she always felt like it made her hips look too wide. Besides, it was wool and it itched. She always felt like fidgeting or running her finger around the inside of her collar about halfway through Sunday School. Since she was always admonishing the boys not to wiggle, she couldn’t very well do the same thing.
She decided to get two things done at once: go through the closets for discards for church, and get a load of laundry done.
She thought best while doing things like that, anyway. Those dozens of little mindless tasks that had to be done around the house kept her hands busy, but not her mind. She could weigh the decision in front of her while she sorted laundry and matched socks.
Her side of the closet was easy. None of her dirty clothes ever got waylaid on the way to the hamper. She found the two things she wanted to set aside and laid them on the bed, then looked around the room.
There weren’t many of Ben’s clothes strewn around, for a change. If she had a nickel for every stray sock she’d picked up in sixteen years, she could probably buy a new washer. One pair of khakis was draped over the chair where he’d left them. Claire picked up the pants, looking them over for odd stains or rips. Ben was as hard on his clothes as were the boys.
The khakis seemed to be in one piece, and there were no obvious ugly stains like machine oil or paint or the other stuff he got into at the hardware store and then forgot to tell her about. Washing clothes was often an adventure around here.
As she put the pants over her arm to take to the basket in the hallway, Claire heard a rustle. She reached into the front pockets, checking for whatever Ben had left in there. There was a piece of paper, folded in quarters. It was nice business letterhead. There was a matching business card folded into the paper. Claire read it, wondering what it was all about. Going to the nightstand, she dialed the phone. Surprisingly enough, Ben answered himself.
“Hey. It’s me.” She balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear. “I’m doing laundry, and I found some papers in your pocket. Who’s Marcy McKinnon?”
“You remember her. From high school. Except she was Marcy Farley then.”
“Oh.” Marcy Farley McKinnon had been the prettiest blond cheerleader at Friedens High when Ben was a senior. She was the one people had always said Ben should have been dating instead of mousy, scholarly sophomore Claire Collins. Even Claire knew folks said that behind her back.
“Has she moved back to town, then?”
“No, still living in St. Louis. But she was my business appointment the other morning, when you ended up taking Laurel and Jeremy to the airport.”
“Oh.” She sounded like a broken record, but she felt stunned. “What kind of business were you discussing with Marcy McKinnon?”
There was a long pause on Ben’s end of the line. She could hear somebody ringing up a sale on the cash register, then the rattle of plastic bags as a purchase was handed over. It seemed like forever, and he still hadn’t answered.
Finally he cleared his throat. It was still a moment before he spoke. “I can’t tell you what I was discussing with her.”
“Not at all?”
She could almost feel him shaking his head in that slow, solid way he had.
“Not at all. Just put the papers on my desk in the living room, okay?”
Like a good little wife, his tone seemed to say. “I guess. Does this mean we’ll discuss this when you get home?”
She could tell that he was trying to sound light, but his voice sounded strained. “Afraid not. This isn’t something I can discuss with you. Not for the present, at least. But it isn’t anything to worry about. I’ll see you at dinner.”
With that the phone went dead. And Claire was standing in the middle of the bedroom holding a strange woman’s business card and feeling more confused than she had in years.
Chapter Four
Dinner that night was a strange event. It was a night on which everyone was home, which was usually cause for celebration. With Ben as busy as he was, and the kids constantly involved in activities after school, with friends or with their youth groups at church, it was rare that everyone was at the table together on a weeknight.
Claire knew it was mostly her own attitude that kept things from being party-like. She felt tense and brittle enough to break. Meanwhile, Ben sat at the table calmly. He seemed totally unaware that he’d upset her.
The boys seemed to sense the tense atmosphere, and concentrated on eating instead of talking. Dishes on the table emptied at a surprising rate. Finally in the silence, broken before only by the clink of cutlery, Kyle cleared his throat.
“Uh, Mom? I heard you talking about that closet thing at church. Are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know yet. Probably. Why?”
Kyle shrugged. His shoulders were thinner, but the gesture looked so much like one of Ben’s.
“It
