it hurt badly. We both felt so sad that our time together was almost over. Yet again, I was losing someone that I loved; how much could my cat heart take?
Claire looked glum as she picked me up and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. Jonathan looked sombre. I had heard them talking, and although they were sad for Snowball and me, I knew they’d also miss the good friends they had made in Edgar Road. I didn’t have the energy to feel sorry for them; I didn’t even have the energy to miaow. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry silently.
Saying goodbye is one of life’s biggest cruelties and I had spent a lot of time in my short life saying it. It never got any easier, and this looked set to be the worst one yet.
Claire carried me next door to say a final goodbye to the Snells and Snowball. Tim answered the door, and everyone hugged awkwardly as we walked into the house. It was almost all packed up and the sight of the boxes made me want to wail. Claire gently put me down.
‘Snowball’s in the garden, she’s very unhappy,’ Karen said as she led the way.
I went into the garden and sat next to Snowball. The humans stood on the other side of the patio door but I could feel their eyes on us. For a few minutes neither of us spoke.
‘So this is it then,’ Snowball said. She raised her whiskers but I could see the despondency in the gesture.
‘I just don’t know what to say,’ I replied.‘I wish I could say that we could do something to stop this, but for a cat who is used to solving problems, I have nothing here.’ I felt the pain of her impending departure in every fibre of my fur.
‘Remember how awful I was to you when I first met you,’ she said.
‘Yes, you weren’t very nice. Even after I rescued you, when you accidentally got yourself lost all those years ago. But I never gave up.’
‘And you taught me so much. I don’t want to go, Alfie. I don’t want to leave you but at least I can say I learnt a lot from you.’
‘I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m going to miss you,’ I told her. She rested her head on mine. I almost felt as if I would stop breathing.
‘Alfie, don’t come and see me tomorrow. I don’t know if I could bear it,’ she said. I could feel her pain as a mirror to my own.
‘I’m not sure I could either. But remember I will always love you and you are in my heart forever,’ I said.
‘And mine.’ Her voice broke and we stayed like that for as long as we could bear it, before we had to tear ourselves away.
Cats might not produce tears, but believe me, we were both weeping. And when I slowly made my way back inside, I saw that Jonathan, Claire, Karen and Tim all had tears in their eyes.
Our ‘purrfect’ love had touched everyone. I just wished it didn’t hurt so much.
I sat in my front garden staring at a big removal van. I normally loved the sight of removal vans, as they heralded the arrival of a new family, an area of fascination for a doorstep cat like me, but today as I smoothed down my grey fur, I hated that van. It was taking the Snells’ furniture away, followed by the family and my beloved Snowball. The nightmare we had first heard about on holiday was actually coming true.
I didn’t know how to cope with the despair I was feeling as I stared at the removal van. I wanted to tear myself away and run inside, but I couldn’t stop watching. I was both horrified and mesmerised.
I heard a noise as my best cat friend, Tiger, squeezed under my gate. Although Tiger could be feisty and she hadn’t exactly been Snowball’s biggest fan when they first met, she had thawed towards her and the two cat women in my life had formed a rapport, almost becoming friends.
‘Oh dear,’ she said, looking at me. Tiger wasn’t known for sugar-coating anything.
‘Look, they’re filling the van, and by the end of today they’ll all be gone,’ I said, wanting to yowl with pain.
‘I know and I am sorry, Alfie, it’s really tough. Oh boy, I don’t know what to say. Look, I know you and Snowball have already said goodbye but don’t you want to see her one last time?’
‘Tiger, every day since we heard the news it’s as if we’ve been waiting to say goodbye and it’s been horrible. I would rather be chased by a dog and get stuck up a tree than go through this again. Besides, we said goodbye properly yesterday. I promised her I’d stay indoors today – but I couldn’t.’
‘Look, come on, I’ll take you to the park and we can chase birds, or tease dogs, it’s your choice.’ She patted me with her paw.‘I promise I won’t let you get stuck up a tree.’ I knew she was trying to cheer me up but I couldn’t feel anything but gloom at the idea of never seeing Snowball again.
‘OK, but I can’t promise I’ll be good company. In fact, I know I’ll be terrible company.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m used to that,’ Tiger said, but she gave me an affectionate look at the same time.
I tried to take my mind off Snowball, and goodness knows Tiger did all she could, but it was still too raw. Tiger tried everything to cheer me up: finding butterflies for me to chase, telling me how Nellie tripped on something – she’s a bit clumsy – and landed on Rocky, which apparently was funny if you were there. She even tried to involve me in the mystery of the pictures on the lamppost, but I couldn’t muster up enthusiasm for anything.
I felt as if I would never be happy again, but I was clinging onto the hope that one day I would start to feel better. I knew I would eventually; I had been through enough in my life to know that although heartbreak never fully went away, it did fade – you just had to give it time. I was quite wise, having accumulated much life experience during my eight cat years. I would never stop loving Snowball or missing her, but the way I was feeling right now would get easier. The pain of losing someone you loved never totally disappeared, but you did get used to living with it. That was how I saw it.
‘I’m sorry, Tiger. I’m so miserable. I’m just not great company,’ I said as I lay down by my favourite flowerbed. A leaf flopped on my head and I brushed it away listlessly.
‘It’s fine, I understand. Remember when Tom went away?’ Tom was a grumpy cat who used to live on our street. He was sort of Tiger’s boyfriend, although she never seemed to like him that much. His owner had died and we had all rallied around trying to figure out where he could live, but a relative took Tom to live with them and he was happy to go. Tiger had been a bit sad but then she didn’t exactly love Tom the way I loved Snowball, although for a few days she had been like a cat with a sore head.
‘Yeah, you were really scratchy,’ I said.
‘OK, yeah, so you’re miserable and I was scratchy but the principle is the same. We’re friends, and friends stick together no matter what – even when they’re not the best company. So if you want to wallow or sulk or cry or even be angry, I’m here for you. Whatever you need, Alfie, I’ll always be here for you.’
‘Tiger, you’re such a good friend and I really appreciate you. I hope you know that.’
‘Well, good, and luckily for you I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Please don’t, I couldn’t bear to lose you as well.’ And
