waitress clears her throat – she’s standing at the side of the table. How long has she been there? I swipe my hand from under Nathan’s. I don’t recognise her, but then, I’m not the best with faces these days. She’s holding a notepad, a pen poised in her other hand.
‘What can I get you?’ she says.
I look down at my skirt. The top of my leg feels cold and wet. I grab a serviette, but it’s no good. Something must’ve fallen from the table. I reach into my pocket and there’s a wrapper. I take it out.
‘Oh God.’
The ice lolly. From the paper shop.
I run out of the café without saying goodbye, and sprint down the street.
How could I have forgotten my little Annie? What if Mrs Abernathy tells the police and they’re waiting for me. They might send me to prison.
I’m only seconds away. I can hear Nathan shouting my name, but I don’t turn around.
What if Annie’s not where I left her?
It’ll be my punishment. What would I do without her?
As I cross the side street, I see the hood of her pram outside the shop.
Please be in there, please be in there.
I reach it, and push the hood of the pram down.
‘Oh, thank God.’
I bend over to catch my breath.
Annie’s still fast asleep. My beautiful, sleeping baby is where I left her.
Mrs Abernathy comes to the doorway. ‘Did you get what you went for?’
I try to work out if there’s a hidden meaning in what she’s asking, but when I look at her face, I realise there’s no agenda behind her words. She’s not as dishonest as I am.
I can never see Nathan again.
‘Yes,’ I say to her. ‘Thanks for keeping an eye on her.’
‘Anytime, dear.’ She turns and walks back into the shop.
I’m nearly at my house when the tears start streaming down my face. How could I have been so stupid? I reach under the pram for a tissue.
I see his shoes, his legs, walking towards me.
‘Are you okay, Debbie?’ Nathan can barely speak, he’s breathing so hard. ‘Did I say something to upset you? I didn’t realise you had Annie with you.’
I’m still crouching near the floor, dabbing my face. I must look a right mess.
I stand to face him.
‘I forgot about her … left her outside the shop. Please don’t tell Peter.’
He frowns. Is he angry with me as well?
‘What do you take me for, Debs? Course I won’t tell him. What would I say? Sorry, Pete, but while I took your wife for a sneaky coffee, she left the baby outside a shop?’
I bury my face in the tissue. He strokes the top of my arm; I step away from him.
‘I can’t see you again,’ I say, sniffing away the last of my tears.
‘Why are you being so serious? We have to see each other. I’m married to your best friend.’
‘What time is it?’
He looks at his watch. ‘Ten to three.’
I turn around and walk away. I’ve forty minutes to get to Bobby’s school. I can’t forget another child. I dab my face to wipe away the remaining tears. I can’t be seen crying at the school gates.
The phone’s ringing as I open the front door. I back into the hallway, pulling the pram over the step and into the house.
If it’s still ringing when I’m properly inside, then I’ll answer it. I’m not in the mood to speak to anyone on the phone. Sometimes it can ring and ring and ring until the sound buries itself into the middle of my brain and I want to rip the cord from the socket.
I shut the front door and wheel Annie into the living room.
The phone’s still ringing.
It might be Peter. I haven’t spoken to him since this morning. The thought of him covers me in a warm hug. But I don’t deserve that – not after the way I’ve behaved.
‘Hello?’
‘Debbie?’
Oh. It’s Monica.
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘It’s me.’ Who else would it be?
‘You sound funny,’ she says.
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Hmm.’ She says it in that disapproving way of hers. ‘I’ve just seen you running up and down the high street in your bare feet – are you wearing a nightie?’
‘What?’
My blood feels as though it’s been replaced with antifreeze.
‘Up and down the street. Are you okay? Do you need me to pop round? Is Annie all right – only I didn’t see her with you.’
I don’t understand what she’s talking about.
‘When?’
‘Just now. I was driving back from work.’
‘Oh,’ I say. ‘Did you see Nathan too? I saw him near the shops.’
‘Debbie, are you sure you’re okay? I can be there in five, no problem. I can watch Annie while you have a sleep.’
‘I don’t need a sleep. I’m getting Bobby at half three.’
‘I know, but even half an hour might help.’
‘Help? Are you sure you didn’t see Nathan? He’ll tell you I wasn’t running around in my nightdress without my shoes on.’
I almost want to laugh at the image.
‘Debbie, Nathan’s at work. He’s just telephoned me from his office.’
‘Oh,’ I say.
‘I can come after school. Would that be better?’
‘No,’ I say, but I can’t think straight. How could Nathan have phoned her from the street? I can’t remember where the nearest phone box is … where is it? ‘It’s okay – Peter’s coming home early today.’
He isn’t, but it gets her off the phone.
Why
