breakdown.
By the time someone reaches the third stage it will be obvious that there is a problem. It is easier, however, to ignore the signs of the first two stages. Even though the term ‘alarm stage’ seems to indicate that you become consciously aware that a change is imminent, this is not necessarily so. At the alarm stage your body and mind get ready for action, but as this preparation happens unconsciously and therefore automatically, it can easily be overlooked. (In Part II of this book you will have an opportunity to check which physical, mental, emotional and behavioural signs you might experience while you are in the resistance stage, or even in the alarm stage.)
You will already have noticed that stress is not a clear-cut matter which can be defined in objective terms. You may find that the best way of describing stress is at a totally subjective level, as any change that makes you feel uncomfortable physically or emotionally. This definition allows for individual differences in attitude and perception towards stressors.
A subjective definition also makes clear that stress is not the same thing as a great workload, a lot of responsibility or having demands made on you. If these scenarios were automatically synonymous with stress, then nobody could be expected to experience them free of stress. However, there are people who have a lot to do and yet stay unstressed by it; there are people who carry great responsibility and who cope with it very well. Stress is only partly a result of the situation itself; it is also, to an extent, caused by our attitude towards that situation. This explains why different people react differently to stress. Look around you while you sit on a commuter train when it is stuck between stations. Some people are simply bored, others annoyed, still others anxious.
Physiologically, the same thing happens to all of us when stress sets in. As soon as we perceive a situation as potentially threatening, our primitive stress response of ‘fight or flight’ springs into action. Our breathing rate increases (thereby providing the brain and the muscles with more oxygen), the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, sugars and fats are released into the bloodstream for extra energy, muscles tense up, the flow of saliva decreases and perspiration increases. All our senses are on ‘red alert’, and adrenalin and cortisol are released which mobilize the body. These spontaneous physical reactions are very useful when your house is on fire because they enable you to run faster and get away from danger more quickly. However, when you have the same automatic reactions when you are only thinking about tomorrow’s meeting at work, you are in trouble. Whereas in the first instance all that extra physical energy and tension are put to good use, in the second example this excess energy has nowhere to go – as you sit there worrying about the next day’s meeting, your stress hormones go round and round in your system, keeping everything buzzing in overdrive. For some people this means an increase in gastric juice secretion, which can ultimately lead to ulcers if the stress response kicks in on a regular basis. Also, the prolonged presence of stress and heavy demands on our ability to adapt can exhaust the body and increase the risk of damaging the function of organs such as the heart or the kidneys.
If you feel that you are particularly prone to unnecessary stress reactions, the next two chapters should help you pinpoint the reasons for this.
SUMMARY
Stress is evoked by our need to re-establish equilibrium when changes occur.
Small amounts of stress are necessary and beneficial.
The three stress stages are alarm, resistance and exhaustion.
Certain personality types are more prone to stress than others.
Prolonged stress can lead to illness or mental breakdown.
The body reacts to stress by mobilizing physical responses to help us cope better with situations which we perceive as threatening.
Even our thoughts can create a physical stress response.
CHAPTER 2
We perceive changes and stressors in our own unique ways. Depending on our background, upbringing and present circumstances, we may find ourselves coping with stress much better than our neighbour or colleague at work. Some of us are born with greater resilience than others, enabling us to stay calm longer than the next person when the going gets tough.
Apart from resilience and adaptability to change, we also bring with us particular dispositions when we are born. Anyone who has children or who is close to a family with small children will be able to confirm how different they are right from the start. One baby is placid and sleeps through the night very early on, whereas another baby will be more wakeful and excitable. One child plays happily on their own, whereas another one has to be entertained a lot to be content. These individual predispositions, together with the manner in which parents bring up their children, will result in various personality types – some of which are particularly vulnerable to stress.
THE ANXIOUS PERSON
This personality type will be lacking somewhat in self-confidence, unsure of their abilities even if others try to be reassuring. Anxious people are reluctant to express any negative emotions openly and are often incapable of saying ‘no’ if someone makes unreasonable demands on them. This unwillingness and fear to stand up for themselves comes either from a distorted sense of duty (something that has usually been drummed into them during childhood) or from the mistaken belief that they will make themselves unpopular if they do not comply with other people’s wishes. Even though anxious people appear to be conformist, they often harbour strong resentments against those whose wishes they seem to carry out so willingly.
STRESS PROBLEMS
Anxious people tend to go for undemanding jobs, which can easily lead them to becoming frustrated and bored. If they progress to a more responsible job they tend to feel easily hassled when the workload increases and will often take their unease out on others.
THE PERFECTIONIST
Perfectionists like everything to be in its proper place and done at the proper time. Routine is of great importance, as is detail. Mistakes are not tolerated – they will even rewrite a handwritten, informal message if their pen slips or a word has been misspelled. This rather plodding way of dealing with life works out well as long as the job in hand is stable and predictable. Perfectionists are usually hard-working and reliable, but not equipped to deal with sudden emergencies or change.
STRESS PROBLEMS
Their great problems adapting to change, and their unwillingness to give up established routines, can cause stress for perfectionists if they find themselves distracted from their routines. Their diligent attention to detail means that they are creating stress for themselves when better prioritization and a more even-handed approach to less important tasks could easily save the day.
THE STIMULUS-SEEKER
This personality type strives on risk and is often addicted to the rush of adrenalin which accompanies any venture. Stimulus-seekers have a certain dare-devil attitude and can be quite brilliant at what they are doing, be it in sports or in the business world. However, they have a very limited attention span. Once the thrill is over, they move on to the next project. They are often
