of drugs even in rural areas, it can be incredibly difficult – and stressful – bringing up children today.
If it is stressful to have healthy children, it is even more so when you have a child who is disabled or severely ill. Special children need help to do things which other youngsters can do unaided, and as there are only 24 hours in a day, loving parents will often end up neglecting themselves in the process. This can cause serious health problems for the parents, the stresses manifesting themselves both physically and mentally.
Of course, actual crises such as seeing your child or anyone else close to you die of an incurable disease or losing a baby through cot death are among the most tragic life situations you can be faced with.
But it is not just one’s immediate family who can be the cause of stress. What happens if your parents are no longer able to look after themselves, when they become too frail or unwell to run their own household? Some very difficult decisions have to be made, and these decisions are not only dependent on personalities but also on finances and circumstances. Considerable change is brought about by having one or two extra people in the house, people who have their own ways of doing things, their own habits and routines. This situation is not only stressful for the children, but also for the ageing parents who are trying to adapt to their new environment.
Today we understand that stress symptoms can also emerge when a family member has difficulties getting past a particular stage in the life cycle, such as becoming an adult, moving in with or marrying someone, becoming a parent, seeing the children leave home, and retirement. Each of these stages brings its own difficulties; people may find themselves having to adjust to their new role in life even as they work through letting go of the old one.
OTHER STRESSORS
Any changes that disrupt your daily routine are stressful to a greater or lesser extent, depending on your general disposition and circumstances. When you lose your job or find yourself in financial trouble for any other reason, this will cause great worry and concern – money problems have a direct knock-on effect on so many other matters in life.
Interestingly, even what we would consider to be positive changes can create stress, such as holidays or a promotion. The reason is that when you are taken out of your familiar home or work environment, you will automatically have to adjust to your new situation, and this involves the expenditure of extra mental energy, often coupled with a sense of anxiety.
Your immediate environment also has a great influence on your well-being. If you live in an isolated area (whether in a rural backwater or an anonymous block of flats), stress can be brought about by the fact that you have too little personal contact with other people.
Also, in areas where crime or violence are common, just leaving the house can be very stressful. Equally distressing are neighbours with anti-social habits who quarrel loudly or play their music at top volume in the middle of the night, just as any other form of noise pollution (say from nearby airports or factories) can disturb your sense of equilibrium and, therefore, invoke a stress reaction.
PART II
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL INTO THE STRESS TRAP …
It is important to understand the warning signals that your body and mind send out in response to a physical or emotional overload. By acquainting yourself with these stress symptoms you will be able to recognize and deal with them quickly and effectively, before they get out of hand.
There are some warning signs that people readily associate with stress, such as excessive smoking, tiredness, headaches and irritability. But did you know that the habit of checking and re-checking whether you have locked your front door or turned off the cooker is also a symptom caused by stress? Or were you aware that a bad memory can be a sign of stress?
Understanding which form stress can take also gives you a better choice of how to combat it. You may decide that, rather than popping a pill when a tension headache crops up you will learn to relax more fully (here); that rather than taking sedatives for anxiety you will deal with what is causing the anxiety in the first place – this might involve becoming more assertive and being able to state your own needs more clearly (here).
CHAPTER 5
Our internal organs are controlled and regulated, without our conscious effort, by the autonomic (or vegetative) nervous system (ANS). The ANS consists of two antagonistic sets of nerves, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous systems. The former connects the internal organs to the brain by spinal nerves; it prepares the organism for fight or flight when stress occurs. The nerve fibres of the parasympathetic nervous system, on the other hand, consist of cranial nerves and lumbar spinal nerves and have the task of getting the body back to normal after it has been aroused by the sympathetic nervous system.
This means that the sympathetic nervous system, once it is aroused, will set in motion a number of physical processes such as general muscle tension, dilation of the pupils, restriction of the flow of saliva in the mouth, dilation of the bronchi, opening of the pores and increased perspiration, constriction of the bowels and loosening of the bladder. In addition, the liver is activated to release sugar into the blood to produce extra energy, and hormones such as adrenalin and corticosteroids are pumped out into the system, accelerating breathing and increasing the heart rate. While all this is going on the autonomic nervous system slows down digestion processes.
Once the stress-inducing situation is over, the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system reverses all the above processes – the pupils contract again, saliva starts flowing freely once more, the bronchi contract, the heart rate slows down, the pores close, the bladder contracts and digestion is stimulated, as is the release of bile which helps digest fats.
To help you understand these physical processes we will take a look at a typical situation that produces some common stress symptoms.
SITUATION
You are worried about having to give a talk in front of a group of people. As you prepare for it, you become aware of the following physical reactions in yourself:
your mouth goes dry and your voice becomes more high-pitched (flow of saliva restricted, muscles in throat tense)
your heart beats faster and your breathing becomes irregular (chest muscles tense up and bronchi dilate, adrenalin is released)
you need to go to the toilet to pass water more often than usual (bladder loosened)
you are constipated or have stomach cramps (muscles tense up)
your hands feel clammy (pores open and perspiration increases)
you feel anxious and have ‘butterflies’ in your stomach (adrenalin is pumping through your system)
you feel restless and pace up and down, your hands shaking and your knees trembling (blood sugar levels are up to provide more energy; adrenalin and corticosteroids accelerate body processes).
As you can see, these physical symptoms
