unless I tell her to be otherwise.”
Not super reassuring.
Rhett had always been much bigger than him, taller with a wider shoulder span. Slightly intimidating, even when they were kids. None of that had changed in five years. If anything, Rhett was even more impressive now. Rhett’s hat was askew and his chest heaved, but Wade didn’t think it was from the exertion of charging up the hill. Rhett scowled at him, a mask of disapproval that, in Wade’s experience, every older sibling perfected early in life.
Or maybe only Wade’s siblings.
Disappointing people was Wade’s specialty, after all.
A muscle in Rhett’s jaw bunched and popped, then just as quickly Rhett’s face fell.
“First,” Rhett said, and then he crossed the distance between them so quickly Wade had no time to react. No time to block a punch Rhett would have had every right to throw after what Cassidy had revealed. But no hit came. Instead, Rhett yanked Wade into a rib-crunching hug. Wade hesitated for a second before his hands rose slowly to Rhett’s back.
Had his brother ever hugged him before? Not that he remembered.
“You’re alive. Thank God.” His brother’s whisper was rough, breath jagged. “Thank You, Lord, for protecting him. For bringing him home.”
The fact that Rhett was praying shocked Wade even more than his hug. Out of the four Jarrett siblings, Rhett and Wade had been the two who hadn’t immediately followed in their parents’ footsteps when it came to faith. Shannon and Boone had both become Christians in elementary school. A quick search online had even revealed that Boone was in seminary preparing to become a minister, a fact that hadn’t surprised Wade one bit.
But Rhett praying as he embraced him? So much had changed.
Wade buried his face into his brother’s shoulder. “You aren’t angry?”
Rhett let him go. Stepped away and ran his hand over his face. “Oh, I’m livid. You have no idea how much I want to shout at you.” Rhett paced. “But you’re here. Alive. It’s a gift. God’s given us yet another gift and I see that and I’m grateful.” He stopped and stared at Wade. “I can’t believe you’re alive. And you’re okay?”
Now’s when he should tell Rhett he had cancer.
But the words stayed stuck in his throat, right next to the lump the doctors said needed to come out. If he said it out loud, then he would have to accept it was real. He would have to deal with it and make decisions. He would have to consider what his outcomes might be. All things he had promised himself he would deal with after he returned home—after he made peace. And he would, but not on day one. Wade had only learned about it a week ago. He needed time.
Time.
There was that word again.
How much did he actually have?
Rhett was still staring at him, waiting. Kodiak flopped to the ground and let out a long yawn.
Wade nodded absently and his gaze landed on the window in the front door. He could see Cassidy out there still. She was heading down the hill, her chestnut waves bobbing with each step. Seeing her, he had forgotten to breathe, to think for a minute. He had forgotten his troubles. With her delicate features, deep brown eyes and scattered freckles, she was as beautiful as he remembered. More, in fact. The Cassidy he had left had been a nineteen-year-old girl, still growing and changing. Today’s Cassidy possessed the curves and maturity of womanhood and her fierce expression had made his mouth go dry.
Despite her initial shock, she had been confident and commanding, and he had never stopped loving her.
Never would.
He had disappeared so she could have a better life. One without the destructive person he used to be. He would have done anything for her. He had. And none of that had changed.
Good thing she was clearly done with any idea of him, because when she had first hugged him... If she had kept that up, it would have been very difficult to keep her at arm’s length emotionally. But that’s what he had to do. Wade had to focus on healing the hurt he had caused his family and focus on trying to beat his suspected thyroid cancer and both of those things were enough for any man. He wouldn’t offer his heart to Cassidy, not broken and sick as he was.
If her reaction was any indication, she would never want it again, anyway.
“Cassidy’s here.” Wade dropped down into one of the seats. He had imagined seeing his mom and most of his siblings, but whenever he had let his mind wander to the girlfriend he had left behind—which it often had—he had told himself that she was married by now or had moved on, far away from anywhere he would ever be. But here at Red Dog Ranch? The thought had never occurred to him.
Rhett crossed his arms. “Of course she’s here.”
Wade pressed his palms together, looked down, then looked up at the ceiling. “I have a kid, Rhett.” Guilt burned a hot trail down his ribs. “A daughter.”
“And she’s a really great kid, at that.” Rhett leaned against the pew a few feet away on the opposite end of the aisle. “But you had no part in raising her to be that way. Why not, Wade? I’m having a really hard time coming up with any positive reason you could have had for faking your death, but I’m all ears.”
His reasons wouldn’t appease his big brother. Besides, right now Wade was far more focused on the fact that he had a child.
“I didn’t know.” He would not have gone if he had known Cassidy was pregnant. Of that he was sure. “I give you my word, Rhett. I didn’t know.”
Rhett’s eyebrows went up. “Whether or not you knew doesn’t matter. You deserted her.” He said the words slowly, deliberately. “You opted to step out of our lives for five years and by doing so, you missed a lot. You can’t ever get those years back. And you sure don’t get to stroll in here and pretend like they didn’t happen. You don’t get to be proud of Piper when you had nothing to do with raising her.”
When Wade decided to return, he had known he would face roadblocks and consequences. He had guessed that it would take a long time to regain his family’s faith—if he was ever able to. He owned the fact that his actions had caused damage. Wade had returned because he was ready to do something about it and if he was being honest, he had also returned because he was scared and he needed his family.
But he hadn’t known the depth of what his recklessness had cost him.
Wade was a dad.
He had a child. A family of his own.
Whatever it took, he was ready and willing to prove that he wasn’t the same man who had walked away from them.
He hadn’t been there for Cassidy when she had been the one he was trying to help by leaving. She had needed him.
Although, maybe she hadn’t. Maybe no one needed Wade Jarrett.
He dropped his head and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. “This is so much worse than I thought. And that’s saying a lot.”
“We thought you drowned. They located the boat you were on. It
