Because of that, Rhett and Shannon hadn’t informed their mom about Wade’s return when Piper skipped inside to tell them. As much as he wanted to see her, it would probably be for the best if Wade allowed himself the night to recharge and spent time with his mom in the morning.
So he stayed on the porch and listened to Shannon talk about building a covered riding arena, hydroseeding, plans to clear brush for another pasture and a new trail they were considering paving.
The sun was beginning to set when Wade noticed Cassidy near a grassy enclosure housing a donkey and a little white horse. Wade watched her hug the donkey’s neck and run her fingers over the tiny horse’s back. She rested her head against the fence rung for a long time. What was she thinking about? If it was about his return... No, he couldn’t allow himself to hope when it came to Cassidy. He had burned that bridge. He might as well have burned it, collected the ashes and then spread the ashes all over the world—never able to piece them back together or repair them.
In leaving Cassidy, Wade had destroyed the only good thing he had going in his life at the time. No doubt it was a mistake he would regret and pay for the rest of his life.
“You aren’t listening to me anymore, are you?” Shannon’s question pierced his focus.
“Sorry.” Wade shifted to look at his sister.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing new. Not when it comes to Cassidy. I wasn’t sure you would still get that look about you.” She moved her hand in a tight circle, gesturing toward his face. “When it came to her. But you still do.” Shannon’s eyes narrowed. “I figured you would have fallen in love two or three more times in the last five years and forgotten all about her.”
Wade shook his head. He had loved Cassidy and no other woman. Not that it mattered. Even if there had been someone else, having just sprung the fact that he was alive on his family, finding out he had a child and dealing with decisions about his health, Wade was in no shape to entertain the thought of a relationship with any woman at the moment.
He probably never would be.
Shannon’s eyebrows rose. She was clearly still waiting for him to say something.
“It’s not like that. There’s no one. Not Cassidy, not anyone. I didn’t even know she would be here. My only focus right now is getting right with my family.” And beating his thyroid cancer, but he wasn’t about to unload that news.
“You’re honestly going to look me in the eye and tell me you don’t care about her?” Shannon snorted. “Five years doesn’t change the fact that I could always read you, you know that, right?”
Wade ran his hand over his hair. He laced his fingers behind his neck and squeezed his palms into the skin there. “I have to talk to her.”
“About that.” Shannon snagged his arm. “When news came that you were most likely dead, it devastated her.” Shannon jutted her chin toward Cassidy. “But even after that, she held on to hope. We all did, but Cassidy most of all. Dad poured money into hiring search teams. Four teams in five months and they came up with nothing. Around the seven-month mark when Dad finally announced that we needed to honor your memory and hold a service for you, the stress of it sent her into early labor.”
Wade’s gaze went back to Cassidy. He swallowed hard.
He had stayed away to help her. He still believed that. But he had also made things worse, at least for a time.
“But she’s okay now, right?” Wade dropped his hands to his knees. “She enjoys what she does. I mean, she has a good life here, right?”
Shannon touched his wrist. “She’s grown into a strong, compassionate woman like we knew she would. These days, she’s one of my best friends. Probably my best.” A distinction Wade used to hold but he had forfeited that when he left, like so many things, he was coming to realize.
“Hey,” Shannon continued. “She even had that famous country singer, Clint Oakfield, after her for a while.”
It might have been triple digits outside, but ice shot through Wade’s veins. “She dated a famous singer?”
Shannon shook her head. “He showed interest and probably would have pursued her if she had displayed the slightest hint of any interest back.” She shrugged. “But Cassidy doesn’t seem to want to date at all. She’s pretty happy focusing on Piper.”
“Thank you for telling me all this. It helps.”
“Nothing I said was for your benefit. It’s a warning, Wade. Because while no matter what you’ve done or how much destruction your choices caused, I’ll always love you,” Shannon said, “Cassidy is like a sister to me so don’t you dare hurt her or ruin everything she’s built in the last five years. If you mess up her life here, you won’t find a welcoming ear anywhere on this ranch or far beyond.”
Wade met his sister’s hard gaze. “Understood.”
Shannon let go of his wrist and got up. She dusted off her jeans. “Well, what are you waiting for?” She jerked her head in Cassidy’s direction. “Get to it. Whatever you wanted to talk to her about. But remember what I said.”
Wade took a rattling breath and then headed toward the pasture.
Cassidy sunk her fingers into the soft hair on Sheep’s neck. Rhett had given the little white horse to Piper for her third birthday and her daughter had immediately said she was naming the horse Sheep. The name had stuck and it had caused endless confusion among staff and campers when someone went looking for a herd of sheep that didn’t exist.
Sheep nuzzled Cassidy’s pocket in search of more apple pieces. He nickered. Romeo, the ranch’s overfriendly donkey, came to crowd Cassidy’s other side. Ever the charmer, the donkey trained his soulful gaze on her.
But Cassidy’s focus was elsewhere.
Wade’s alive.
Cassidy had lost count of the number of times the words had shot through her mind. She knew they were true, but her heart and brain were having a hard time shaping them into something that made sense. So many choices in her adult life had been made on the basis of Wade being dead.
And it had all been one big joke.
All of her tears, hours in counseling, sleepless nights and days without eating as she grieved. Holding on to his memory, visiting his gravestone, pushing away any other men or even the thought of a relationship.
Every minute had been one big Gotcha! on her life.
It felt as if walls were closing in on her heart and a cord was wrapping its way around her chest, truncating her breaths, making her heart beat out a jagged distress call.
But who would hear her plea for help? Surely not God, who had listened to all her prayers and tears over Wade—God, who had known Wade was alive the whole time Cassidy was in misery. He had allowed her to suffer for no reason. For years.
How was that loving?
How was that the kind father who Pastor Ellis often said God was?
When
