The Amazing Marriage — Complete. George Meredith
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‘Hands off!’ Woodseer bellowed, feeling himself a leaky vessel in dock, his infirmities in danger of exposure. ‘If you pull!—what the deuce do you want? Stop!’
‘Out you come,’ said the giant, and laughed at the fun to his friends, who were entirely harmonious when not violently dissenting, as is the way with Night’s rollickers before their beds have reconciled them to the day-beams.
Woodseer would have had to come and was coming; he happened to say: ‘Don’t knock my pipe out of my mouth,’ and touched a chord in the giant.
‘All—right; smoke your pipe,’ was answered to his remonstrance.
During the amnesty, Fleetwood inquired: ‘Where are you going?’
‘Far a drive—to be sure. Don’t you see!’
‘You’ll return?’
‘I intend to return.’
‘He’s beastly excited,’ quoth Abrane.
Fleetwood silenced him, though indeed Woodseer appeared suspiciously restive.
‘Step down and have a talk with me before you start. You’re not to go yet.’
‘I must. I’m in a hurry.’
‘What ‘s the hurry?’
‘I want to smoke and think.’
‘Takes a carriage on the top of the morning to smoke and think! Hark at that!’ Abrane sang out. ‘Oh, come along quietly, you fellow, there’s a good fellow! It concerns us all, every man Jack; we’re all bound up in your fortunes. Fellow with luck like yours can’t pretend to behave independently. Out of reason!’
‘Do you give me your word you return?’ said Fleetwood.
Woodseer replied: ‘Very well, I do; there, I give my word. Hang it! now I know what they mean by “anything for a quiet life.” Just a shake brings us down on that cane-bottomed chair!’
‘You return to-day?’
‘To-day, yes, yes.’
Fleetwood signified the captive’s release; and Abrane immediately suggested:
‘Pop old Chummy in beside the fellow to mount guard.’
Potts was hustled and precipitated into the carriage by the pair, with whom he partook this last glimmer of their night’s humorous extravagances, for he was an easy creature. The carriage drove off.
‘Keep him company!’ they shouted.
‘Escort him back!’ said he, nodding.
He remarked to Woodseer: ‘With your permission,’ concerning the seat he took, and that ‘a draught of morning air would do him good.’ Then he laughed politely, exchanged wavy distant farewells with his comrades, touched a breast-pocket for his case of cigars, pulled forth one, obtained ‘the loan of a light,’ blew clouds and fell into the anticipated composure, quite understanding the case and his office.
Both agreed as to the fine morning it was. Woodseer briefly assented to his keeper’s reiterated encomium on the morning, justified on oath. A fine morning, indeed. ‘Damned if I think I ever saw so fine a morning!’ Potts cried. He had no other subject of conversation with this hybrid: and being equally disposed for hot discourse or for sleep, the deprivation of the one and the other forced him to seek amusement in his famous reading of character; which was profound among the biped equine, jockeys, turfmen, sharpers, pugilists, demireps. He fronted Woodseer with square shoulders and wide knees, an elbow on one, a fist on the other, engaged in what he termed the ‘prodding of his eel,’ or ‘nicking of his man,’ a method of getting straight at the riddle of the fellow by the test of how long he could endure a flat mute stare and return look for look unblinking. The act of smoking fortifies and partly covers the insolence. But if by chance an equable, not too narrowly focussed, counterstare is met, our impertinent inquisitor may resemble the fisherman pulled into deep waters by his fish. Woodseer perused his man, he was not attempting to fathom him: he had besides other stuff in his head. Potts had naught, and the poor particle he was wriggled under detection.
‘Tobacco before breakfast!’ he said disgustedly tossing his cigar to the road. ‘Your pipe holds on. Bad thing, I can tell you, that smoking on an empty stomach. No trainer’d allow it, not for a whole fee or double. Kills your wind. Let me ask you, my good sir, are you going to turn? We’ve sat a fairish stretch. I begin to want my bath and a shave, linen and coffee. Thirsty’ as a dog.’
He heard with stupefaction, that he could alight on the spot, if he pleased, otherwise he would be driven into Carlsruhe. And now they had a lingual encounter, hot against cool; but the eyes of Chummy Potts having been beaten, his arguments and reproaches were not backed by the powerful looks which are an essential part of such eloquence as he commanded. They fled from his enemy’s currishly, even while he was launching epithets. His pathetic position subjected him to beg that Woodseer would direct the driver to turn, for he had no knowledge of ‘their German lingo.’ And said he: ‘You’ve nothing to laugh at, that I can see. I’m at your mercy, you brute; caught in a trap. I never walk;—and the sun fit to fry a mackerel along that road! I apologize for abusing you; I can’t do more. You’re an infernally clever player—there! And, upon my soul, I could drink ditchwater! But if you’re going in for transactions at Carlsruhe, mark my words, your luck’s gone. Laugh as much as you like.’
Woodseer happened to be smiling over the excellent reason for not turning back which inflicted the wofulness. He was not without sympathy for a thirsty wretch, and guessing, at the sight of an avenue of limes to the left of the road, that a wayside inn was below, he said: ‘You can have coffee or beer in two minutes,’ and told the driver where to pull up.
The sight of a grey-jacketed, green-collared sportsman, dog at heel, crossing the flat land to the hills of the forest, pricked him enviously, and caused him to ask what change had come upon him, that he should be hurrying to a town for a change of clothes. Just as Potts was about to jump out, a carriage, with a second behind it, left the inn door. He rubbed a hand on his unshaven chin, tried a glance at his shirt-front, and remarking: ‘It won’t be any one who knows me,’ stood to let the carriages pass. In the first were a young lady and a gentleman: the lady brilliantly fair, an effect of auburn hair and complexion, despite the signs of a storm that had swept them and had not cleared from her eyelids. Apparently her maid, a damsel sitting straight up, occupied the carriage following; and this fresh-faced young person twice quickly and bluntly bent her head as she was driven by. Potts was unacquainted with the maid. But he knew the lady well, or well enough for her inattention to be the bigger puzzle. She gazed at the Black Forest hills in the steadiest manner, with eyes betraying more than they saw; which solved part of the puzzle, of course. Her reasons for declining to see him were exposed by the presence of the gentleman beside her. At the same time, in so highly bred a girl, a defenceless exposure was unaccountable. Half a nod and the shade of a smile would have been the proper course; and her going along on the road to the valley seemed to say it might easily have been taken; except that there had evidently been a bit of a scene.
Potts