THE COMEDY OF ERRORS. William Shakespeare

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THE COMEDY OF ERRORS - William Shakespeare

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I will determine this before I stir.

       [Enter a SERVANT.]

       SERVANT.

       O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself!

       My master and his man are both broke loose,

       Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor;

       Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire;

       And ever as it blazed they threw on him

       Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair:

       My master preaches patience to him, while

       His man with scissors nicks him like a fool:

       And, sure, unless you send some present help,

       Between them they will kill the conjurer.

       ADRIANA.

       Peace, fool, thy master and his man are here;

       And that is false thou dost report to us.

       SERVANT.

       Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true:

       I have not breath’d almost since I did see it.

       He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,

       To scorch your face, and to disfigure you:

       [Cry within.]

       Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress; fly, be gone!

       DUKE.

       Come, stand by me; fear nothing. Guard with halberds.

       ADRIANA.

       Ah me, it is my husband! Witness you

       That he is borne about invisible.

       Even now we hous’d him in the abbey here,

       And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.

       [Enter ANTIPHOLUS and DROMIO OF EPHESUS.]

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Justice, most gracious duke; oh, grant me justice!

       Even for the service that long since I did thee,

       When I bestrid thee in the wars, and took

       Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood

       That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.

       AEGEON.

       Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,

       I see my son Antipholus, and Dromio.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there.

       She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife;

       That hath abused and dishonour’d me

       Even in the strength and height of injury!

       Beyond imagination is the wrong

       That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.

       DUKE.

       Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me,

       While she with harlots feasted in my house.

       DUKE.

       A grievous fault. Say, woman, didst thou so?

       ADRIANA.

       No, my good lord;—myself, he, and my sister,

       To-day did dine together. So befall my soul

       As this is false he burdens me withal!

       LUCIANA.

       Ne’er may I look on day nor sleep on night

       But she tells to your highness simple truth!

       ANGELO.

       O peflur’d woman! they are both forsworn.

       In this the madman justly chargeth them.

       ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS.

       My liege, I am advised what I say;

       Neither disturb’d with the effect of wine,

       Nor, heady-rash, provok’d with raging ire,

       Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.

       This woman lock’d me out this day from dinner:

       That goldsmith there, were he not pack’d with her,

       Could witness it, for he was with me then;

       Who parted with me to go fetch a chain.

       Promising to bring it to the Porcupine,

       Where Balthazar and I did dine together.

       Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,

       I went to seek him. In the street I met him,

       And in his company that gentleman.

       There did this perjur’d goldsmith swear me down,

       That I this day of him receiv’d the chain,

       Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which

       He did arrest me with an officer.

       I did obey, and sent my peasant home

       For certain ducats: he with none return’d.

       Then fairly I bespoke the officer

       To go in person with me to my house.

       By the way we met

       My wife, her sister, and a rabble more

       Of vile confederates: along with them

       They brought one Pinch; a hungry lean-faced villain,

       A mere anatomy, a mountebank,

       A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller;

       A needy, hollow-ey’d, sharp-looking wretch;

       A living dead man; this pernicious slave,

       Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer;

      

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