tilted her head, causing the sheet of shiny black hair to slide over her shoulder in a sleek wave. ‘I’d prefer dinner,’ she said, with a mischievous glint in her eye.
Ben grinned. ‘So would I.’ Simultaneously, they pushed back their chairs and stood up. Standing, she was even more of a vision. Tall and slim, dressed in a dark green silky wrap dress and high-heeled strappy nude sandals, she walked confidently in front of him towards the door, as if she knew that the eyes of every man in the room were turning towards her as she passed. Already, Ben could feel a swell of pride that it was him she was with.
As they stepped out into the cool night air, she reached over to take his arm, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘Where are we going?’ she asked, as they fell into step with each other.
Ben wondered for a moment if he was dreaming this whole episode, it seemed so surreal. He wasn’t used to picking up women in bars. In fact, he had never picked up a complete stranger before. And yet, it seemed so right, as if he already knew her from somewhere. There was no awkwardness or hesitation. It all had a strange inevitability about it. His mind raced, as he tried to give off an impression of cool insouciance. ‘I know a great place.’ He gave her what he hoped was a knowing smile and steered her in the direction of his favourite restaurant, praying that Nigel, the maître d’ would have a table.
Nigel greeted them like old friends and, after pocketing the £50 Ben had surreptitiously slipped him, led them to a table by the window, with a spectacular view of London lit up and twinkling in the inky night sky as far as the eye could see.
‘Wow,’ Bella gazed out, her eyes shining with delight. ‘What an incredible view. And what an incredible place.’
Ben smiled to himself, hardly able to believe his luck. Out of the blue, he was sitting opposite the most stunning girl he had ever met, about to eat in one of London’s swankiest restaurants. Already he could feel the malaise that had been suffocating him for the previous few months, ever since Charlotte told him she needed some time apart to work out what she wanted, lifting. He swallowed and pushed all thoughts of Charlotte to the back of his mind. He wanted to clear his head to concentrate on this vision in front of him.
Sometimes, Ben reflected, sitting beside Bella in his car two months later, as he tried to digest her news, life just took you by the hand and led you in a certain direction. He wondered if he would have been able to stop the course of events, even if he had wanted to. Unlikely, he decided.
Just a year ago, he was flying high in his work as an advertising executive, still living with Charlotte, planning to propose and thinking that he knew exactly how his life was going to play out. But then Charlotte had dropped her bombshell as they returned to their flat in London, after spending Christmas with his parents in Suffolk. He remembered her words with an aching clarity: ‘I think we need to have some time apart.’
He had actually laughed. He had thought she was joking. When he became aware that she wasn’t laughing with him, he glanced over at her and saw a tear sliding down her cheek. ‘What? But why?’ His throat dried around the words and he felt his stomach contract. She was deadly serious.
Charlotte swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. ‘I need to be sure that this …’ She motioned from him to her. ‘That this is right for us. Both of us.’
Ben frowned and tried to focus on the road, although his mind was racing and he could feel his own tears threatening.
‘It’s right for me, Charlie. I’m not having any doubts. What’s brought this on?’
Charlotte had shaken her head. ‘I just … I just feel like I need some time, Ben. Ever since Dad died, I’ve been feeling so confused. And a bit rudderless. Wondering if this is it. I’m sorry.’
Ben had frowned to himself. He knew her dad’s death the year before had hit her hard but he didn’t realize how hard. Now that he thought about it, the signs were there: the faraway look she got in her eye more and more often. The sense that she wasn’t listening when he spoke. But there was something else too: the name she had started mentioning whenever she talked about work; the way her eyes danced as she regaled him with stories. He somehow felt it was connected.
They had driven the rest of the way home enveloped in a thick, dark silence, both of them immersed deep in their own thoughts. Charlotte leaped out of the car as soon as he had parked and disappeared into the flat, while Ben stayed put, still unable to digest her words. He tried to convince himself that she was just having a moment. That he would walk inside and find her waiting on the bed, laughing at how she had ‘got him’.
But as he finally let himself into the flat, he already knew that although he would find her in their bedroom, she wouldn’t be waiting for him on the bed, she would be packing.
‘Where will you go?’ He stood in the doorway, watching as she threw her clothes into two large suitcases. Not just an overnight bag. This was serious. She wasn’t planning to come back.
Charlotte ran her hand through her long, fair hair and bit her lip. ‘Lucy’s.’
Ben nodded. ‘Does she know you’re coming?’
Charlotte blinked quickly, as a flush spread up her pale, slender neck. Finally, she looked up and met Ben’s eye. ‘Yes.’
Ben felt his legs weaken. He took a deep breath and grasped the doorframe to support himself. ‘So you told her before you told me?’
Charlotte’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I just told her I was confused, Ben. She said if I ever needed some time out, she had a spare room.’
‘God.’ The feeling of betrayal seemed to squeeze the air out of Ben’s lungs. He had always thought Lucy was his biggest ally, often taking Ben’s side over her own sister’s.
‘Don’t look like that, Ben. Lucy adores you. For what it’s worth, she said that you’re one in a million and I’d be an idiot to let you go.’
Ben smiled sadly. It was a small crumb of comfort. ‘Then don’t let me go.’ It seemed so simple, so straightforward.
Charlotte hesitated, as different waves of emotion crossed her pretty, unlined face. After a moment, she seemed to make up her mind. She closed the cases and zipped them up carefully. The sound of the zips seemed to have a certain finality to it. Like a full stop at the end of a sentence. ‘I have to,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’
It had been six months since she left. How much his life had changed in that time. Here he was, living with someone new – Bella had gone home with him that first night and never really left – someone he would previously have thought was way out of his league, now expecting their first child. It made him feel dizzy to think about it. He wondered how Charlotte would react when she heard. Would she feel pleased that he had moved on with his life? Or would she feel regret that he seemed to have got over her so easily?
‘Ben?’ said Bella, as she laid her head on his chest that night.
‘Hmmm?’
‘I’d like to get married. Before the baby comes.’
Ben felt his whole body instinctively tense. He knew that having a baby was a much bigger commitment than getting married but somehow this seemed to loom so much larger. Less than a year ago, he had been planning to propose to Charlotte. Had envisaged her reaction as he asked her at sunset on their favourite beach in Portugal, her blue eyes glinting as she tearfully accepted.
Instead,
