will, and go, if thou wilt have me to go. And now let me know thy will by the answer of my medical attendant. If, in reply to my question, he says it would be very good for me, I will go; but if he, says it is of no great importance, then I will stay.” When I asked him, he said that it was the best thing I could do. I was then enabled willingly to submit, and accordingly went to Teignmouth.
A few days after my arrival at Teignmouth, the chapel, called Ebenezer, was reopened, and I attended the opening. I was much impressed by one of those who preached on the occasion. For though I did not like all he said, yet I saw a gravity and solemnity in him different from the rest. After he had preached, I had a great desire to know more of him; and, being invited by two brethren of Exmouth, in whose house he was staying, to spend some time with them, I had an opportunity of living ten days with him under the same roof. It was at this time that God began to show me that his word alone is our standard of judgment in spiritual things; that it can be explained only by the Holy Spirit; and that in our day, as well as in former times, he is the teacher of his people. The office of the Holy Spirit I had not experimentally understood before that time. Indeed, of the office of each of the blessed persons, in what is commonly called the Trinity, I had no experimental apprehension. I had not before seen from the Scriptures that the Father chose us before the foundation of the world; that in him that wonderful plan of our redemption originated, and that he also appointed all the means by which it was to be brought about. Further, that the Son, to save us, had fulfilled the law, to satisfy its demands, and with it also the holiness of God; that he had borne the punishment due to our sins, and had thus satisfied the justice of God. And, further, that the Holy Spirit alone can teach us about our state by nature, show us the need of a Saviour, enable us to believe in Christ, explain to us the Scriptures, help us in preaching, etc. It was my beginning to understand this latter point in particular which had a great effect on me; for the Lord enabled me to put it to the test of experience, by laying aside commentaries, and almost every other book, and simply reading the word of God and studying it. The result of this was, that the first evening that I shut myself into my room, to give myself to prayer and meditation over the Scriptures, I learned more in a few hours than I had done during a period of several months previously. But the particular difference was, that I received real strength for my soul in doing so. I now began to try by the test of the Scriptures the things which I had learned and seen, and found that only those principles which stood the test were really of value.
My stay in Devonshire was most profitable to my soul. My prayer had been, before I left London, that the Lord would be pleased to bless my journey to the benefit of my body and soul. In the beginning of September I returned to London, much better in body; and as to my soul, the change was so great that it was like a second conversion. After my return to London, I sought to benefit my brethren in the seminary, and the means which I used were these: I proposed to them to meet together every morning from six to eight for prayer and reading the Scriptures; and that then each of us should give out what he might consider the Lord had shown him to be the meaning of the portion read. One brother in particular was brought into the same state as myself; and others, I trust, were more or less benefited. Several times, when I went to my room after family prayer in the evening, I found communion with God so sweet that I continued in prayer till after twelve, and then, being full of joy, went into the room of the brother just referred to; and finding him also in a similar frame of heart, we continued praying until one or two; and even then I was a few times so full of joy that I could scarcely sleep, and at six in the morning again called the brethren together for prayer.
After I had been for about ten days in London, and had been confined to the house on account of my studies, my health began again to decline; and I saw that it would not be well, my poor body being only like a wreck or brand brought out of the devil’s service, to spend my little remaining strength in study, but that I now ought to set about actual engagement in the Lord’s work. I wrote to the committee of the Society, requesting them to send me out at once; and, that they might do so more comfortably, to send me as a fellow-laborer with an experienced brother. However, I received no answer.
After having waited about five or six weeks, in the mean time seeking, in one way or other, to labor for the Lord, it struck me that, considering myself called by the Lord to preach the gospel, I ought to begin at once to labor among the Jews in London, whether I had the title of missionary or not. In consequence of this, I distributed tracts among the Jews, with my name and residence written on them, thus inviting them to conversation about the things of God; preached to them in those places where they most numerously collect together; read the Scriptures regularly with about fifty Jewish boys; and became a teacher in a Sunday school. In this work I had much enjoyment, and the honor of being reproached and ill-treated for the name of Jesus. But the Lord gave me grace, never to be kept from the work by any danger, or the prospect of any suffering.
Mr. Müller was led, toward the close of 1829, to doubt the propriety of continuing under the patronage of the London Society. It seemed to him unscriptural for a servant of Christ to put himself under the control and direction of any one but the Lord. A correspondence with the Society, evincing on his part, and on their part, entire kindness and love, resulted in a dissolution of his relation to them. He was left free to preach the gospel wherever Providence might open the way.
On December 30, I went to Exmouth, where I intended to spend a fortnight in the house of some Christian friends. I arrived at Exmouth on December 31, at six in the evening, an hour before the commencement of a prayer-meeting at Ebenezer Chapel. My heart was burning with a desire to tell of the Lord’s goodness to my soul. Being, however, not called on, either to speak or pray, I was silent. The next morning, I spoke on the difference between being a Christian and a happy Christian, and showed whence it generally comes that we rejoice so little in the Lord. This, my first testimony, was blessed to many believers, that God, as it appears, might show me that he was with me. At the request of several believers, I spoke again in the afternoon, and also proposed a meeting in the chapel every morning at ten, to expound the epistle to the Romans. The second day after my arrival, a brother said to me, “I have been praying for this month past that the Lord would do something for Lympstone, a large parish where there is little spiritual light. There is a Wesleyan chapel, and I doubt not you would be allowed to preach there.” Being ready to speak of Jesus wherever the Lord might open a door, yet so that I could be faithful to the truths which he had been pleased to teach me, I went, and easily obtained liberty to preach twice on the next day, being the Lord’s day.
FOOTNOTES:
[12] Then I proclaimed a fast, to seek of God a right way for us, and for our little ones, and for all our substance.—Ezra viii. 21.
[13] To avoid the necessity of reducing the sums named to federal money, it may be stated that a pound (£.) is equal to about $4.88, a sovereign to the same, a shilling (s.) to about 28 cts. and a penny (d.) to 2 cts. For convenience of computation, when exactness is not required, we may call the pound $5.00, and the shilling 25 cts.—Ed.
CHAPTER IV.
LEANING ON JESUS.
1830–1832.
A DOOR OPENED—TOKENS FOR GOOD—TRUST EXERCISED IN THE STUDY AND MINISTRY OF THE WORD—THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT—TRUSTING IN GOD FOR DAILY BREAD—BLESSEDNESS OF WAITING UPON THE LORD—“OWE NO MAN”—“ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU”—THE GIFT OF FAITH, AND THE GRACE OF FAITH.
After I had preached about three weeks
