the gift and the grace of faith seems to me this. According to the gift of faith, I am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, the not doing of which, or the not believing of which, would not be sin; according to the grace of faith, I am able to do a thing, or believe that a thing will come to pass, respecting which I have the word of God as the ground to rest upon, and, therefore, the not doing it, or the not believing it, would be sin. For instance, the gift of faith would be needed to believe that a sick person should be restored again, though there is no human probability, for there is no promise to that effect; the grace of faith is needed to believe that the Lord will give me the necessaries of life, if I first seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness, for there is a promise to that effect.[15]
March 18. These two days we have not been able to purchase meat. The sister in whose house we lodge gave us to-day part of her dinner. We are still looking to Jesus for deliverance. We want money to pay the weekly rent and to buy provisions. March 19. Our landlady sent again of her meat for our dinner. We have but a halfpenny left. I feel myself very cold in asking for money: still, I hope for deliverance, though I do not see whence money is to come. We were not able to buy bread to-day as usual. March 20. This has been again a day of very great mercies. In the morning we met round our breakfast which the Lord had provided for us, though we had not a single penny left. The last halfpenny was spent for milk. We were then still looking to Jesus for fresh supplies. We both had no doubt that the Lord would interfere. I felt it a trial that I had but little earnestness in asking the Lord, and had this not been the case, perhaps we might have had our wants sooner supplied. We have about seven pounds in the house; but considering it no longer our own, the Lord kept us from taking of it, with the view of replacing what we had taken, as formerly I might have done. The meat which was sent yesterday for our dinner was enough also for to-day. Thus the Lord had provided another meal. Two sisters called upon us about noon, who gave us two pounds of sugar, one pound of coffee, and two cakes of chocolate. Whilst they were with us, a poor sister came and brought us one shilling from herself and two shillings and sixpence from another poor sister. Our landlady also sent us again of her dinner, and also a loaf. Our bread would scarcely have been enough for tea, had the Lord not thus graciously provided. In the afternoon, the same sister who brought the money brought us also, from another sister, one pound of butter and two shillings, and from another sister five shillings.
FOOTNOTES:
[14] One bill I had to meet for a brother, the other was for money which, in the form of a bill, I had sent to the Continent; but in both cases the money was in my hands before the bills were given.
[15] Matt. vi.
CHAPTER V.
MINISTRY AT BRISTOL BEGUN.
1832–1835.
“HERE HAVE WE NO CONTINUING CITY”—CAUTION TO THE CHRISTIAN TRAVELLER—NEW TOKENS FOR GOOD—THE WAY MADE CLEAR—MEETINGS FOR INQUIRY—NO RESPECT OF PERSONS WITH GOD—FRANCKE, “BEING DEAD, YET SPEAKETH”—DAILY BREAD SUPPLIED—A PECULIAR PEOPLE.
April 8. I have felt much this day that Teignmouth is no longer my place, and that I shall leave it. I would observe that in August of 1831 I began greatly to feel as if my work at Teignmouth were done, and that I should go somewhere else. I was led to consider the matter more maturely, and at last had it settled in this way—that it was not likely to be of God, because, for certain reasons, I should naturally have liked to leave Teignmouth. Afterwards, I felt quite comfortable in remaining there. In the commencement of the year 1832 I began again much to doubt whether Teignmouth was my place, or whether my gift was not much more that of going about from place to place, seeking to bring believers back to the Scriptures, than to stay in one place and to labor as a pastor. I resolved to try whether it were not the will of God that I should still give myself to pastoral work among the brethren at Teignmouth; and with more earnestness and faithfulness than ever I was enabled to give myself to this work, and was certainly much refreshed and blessed in it; and I saw immediately blessings result from it. This my experience seemed more than ever to settle me at Teignmouth. But notwithstanding this, the impression that my work was done there came back after some time, as the remark in my journal of April 8 shows, and it became stronger and stronger. There was one point remarkable in connection with this. Wherever I went I preached with much more enjoyment and power than at Teignmouth, the very reverse of which had been the case on my first going there. Moreover, almost everywhere I had many more hearers than at Teignmouth, and found the people hungering after food, which, generally speaking, was no longer the case at Teignmouth.
April 11. Felt again much that Teignmouth will not much longer be my residence. April 12. Still feel the impression that Teignmouth is no longer my place. April 13. Found a letter from brother Craik, from Bristol, on my return from Torquay, where I had been to preach. He invites me to come and help him. It appears to me, from what he writes, that such places as Bristol more suit my gifts. O Lord, teach me! I have felt this day more than ever that I shall soon leave Teignmouth. I fear, however, there is much connected with it which savors of the flesh, and that makes me fearful. It seems to me as if I should shortly go to Bristol, if the Lord permit. April 14. Wrote a letter to brother Craik, in which I said I should come, if I clearly saw it to be the Lord’s will. Have felt again very much to-day, yea, far more than ever, that I shall soon leave Teignmouth.
April 15. Lord’s day. This evening I preached, as fully as time would permit, on the Lord’s second coming. After having done so, I told the brethren what effect this doctrine had had upon me, on first receiving it, even to determine me to leave London, and to preach throughout the kingdom; but that the Lord had kept me chiefly at Teignmouth for these two years and three months, and that it seemed to me now that the time was near when I should leave them. I reminded them of what I told them when they requested me to take the oversight of them, that I could make no certain engagement, but stay only so long with them as I should see it to be the Lord’s will to do so. There was much weeping afterwards. But I am now again in peace.
April 16. This morning I am still in peace. I am glad I have spoken to the brethren, that they may be prepared, in case the Lord should take me away. I left to-day for Dartmouth, where I preached in the evening. I had five answers to prayer to-day. 1. I awoke at five, for which I had asked the Lord last evening. 2. The Lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition under which she had been suffering. It would have been trying to me to have had to leave her in that state. 3. The Lord sent us money. 4. There was a place vacant on the Dartmouth coach, which only passes through Teignmouth. 5. This evening I was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed.
April 21. I would offer here a word of warning to believers. Often the work of the Lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion with him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls. On the 19th I had left Dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in the evening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours’ sleep, travelled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and conversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and arose before five. All this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore, however careless about the Lord’s work I might have appeared to my brethren, I ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and reading the word, especially as I had a long journey before me that day, and as I was going to Bristol, which in itself required much prayer. Instead of this, I hurried to the prayer meeting, after a
