affairs.
I asked her, “Do you love your husband?”
She gave me an immediate “Yes.” She had two kids. She said the older one was deaf and very sweet, thirteen years old; the younger one, seven years old, was very angry. Apparently a lot of bickering occurred in their household.
“I may have to leave this relationship,” Diane mused, sadly.
“Look, if you love him, there’s a solid foundation there. But what does your wisdom tell you about where your relationship can go with your husband if you’re involved in these affairs and there’s always something hovering over you that you’re hiding from him?”
She sighed, “I really need to get out of this affair totally.”
“See, this is your wisdom speaking to you now. Can you hear the difference in the voices?”
“Yes. I know I’ve got to end it with this guy immediately.”
“And then there’s the fact of your husband not knowing, and you keeping this secret and hiding it.”
“I know. I’ve got to tell him.”
We talked about how he might react.
I said, “Then there’s a third thing.” Diane and her husband supposedly had a solid friendship relationship, but she’d said she thought he might be gay. Was he really? What if he didn’t care for her sexually? Sex was obviously extremely important to Diane.
“If he is gay,” I asked, “how do you think he would react if you both got your sexual gratification elsewhere?”
“No way! He’s a strict Lutheran. He would never be able to handle that.”
“Well, what about him? What does he do?”
“He gets his gratification by going onto the Internet and looking at naked men, and he got his penis pierced and all this kind of stuff.”
“So there’s something he feels a need for that is outside of your relationship too; in fact, outside of himself.”
“Yeah.”
“And what about you?”
“Well, I’ve got all these sex toys.”
I’m thinking, “Whoa, this is a world I know nothing about. In fact,
I don’t want to know anything about it.” So I said, “Look, if there’s a solid foundation in your relationship and everything is honest and on the table, doesn’t your wisdom say that you could come to a meeting of the minds about this?”
“Yes. But how?”
“Your wisdom will tell you if you get quiet. One possibility is you could go out of your way to really listen to him deeply so you can see his world the way he sees it and be fascinated by what would make him want to do those things. Then he could do the same with you. When the two of you are able to see each other’s worlds, you then have a chance of coming to a meeting of the minds about what you could do together to make your relationship satisfying for each other.”
“Yes, that is really, really important for us.”
“Which voice is speaking to you about this now?”
“This is definitely my wisdom.”
“Then you know what wisdom sounds like. You know what to do. It’s always there to guide you. You can never go wrong if you listen to it.”
Diane got teary-eyed and thanked me profusely. Our session ended. She went off to see whether that guy was still in the park, and I left.
Later I learned he hadn’t left the park. That sealed it. Diane put an end to that relationship. She told her husband about the first affair at least, and they began a healing process.
When it comes to wisdom we are always at a fork in the road. We can listen to it or not.
Fortunately, we are not left to the devices of our own thinking. If the power of Thought is a creative gift we can use in any way we want, and if the power of Consciousness is a gift that makes whatever we’re thinking look real to us and gives us the experience of whatever we’re thinking, where do these phenomenal powers or gifts come from?
They come from something we could call “Universal Mind.” Mind is the third (actually, the first) of three Principles*—Mind, Consciousness and Thought—that work together to create our life experience. I’m not talking about our own little minds here. I’m talking about something way bigger than ourselves that flows through us. I’m talking about the force or energy that keeps us alive. What it is is a mystery, but it is the energy behind all life that seems to have an intelligence attached. I’m talking about something of which we are one little part: One huge Intelligence or Mind; the Energy of All Things. If you don’t like the term “Mind,” call it whatever you want. It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that we are a little tiny piece of this formless, universal intelligent energy that flows through us continually and never stops. It can’t stop, for it is the life-force itself. Without it we wouldn’t exist. That is a fact! What matters is when we’re in touch with that tiny little piece of infinite Intelligence, we can hear wisdom speaking to us.
Wisdom, then, as I mean it, doesn’t really come from us, per se; it comes through us. Wisdom is something that never goes away. It is always there, able to be accessed at any moment. The only way wisdom could disappear is if Mind disappeared, and that is impossible because life itself would cease to exist. Even if we wanted to get away from our wisdom, we couldn’t.
This raises a question: If people have all this wisdom, why do most people walk around looking like they don’t have it?
Our thinking obscures our wisdom; indeed, it is the only thing that can. Our thinking obscures our wisdom the way a veil covers a beautiful sculpture. Even though we can’t see the sculpture, it is there. Our thinking is the veil. When the veil is pulled off the sculpture it is there for everyone to see because it never went anywhere in the first place. We can have faith in that. We could have the same kind of faith in our wisdom and innate Health.
Because Diane’s thinking was so scrambled she could not see her wisdom. Once her mind calmed down her wisdom appeared. It was there all along. She only couldn’t hear it because of the noise in her head.
The two voices—wisdom and our typical thinking—are always speaking to us. We can notice the difference. If we listen closely we would notice our habits of thinking sound like old news. Many times before we’ve had these types of thoughts. That voice tends to grab us. It’s enticing. On the other hand our wisdom has an “Oh yeah, I see it!” or an “ah-ha” or “ah, yes,” feeling attached, a solid knowing deep within ourselves. Everyone has experienced both. The decision about which voice to listen to can be the difference between living a life of well-being or a life of problems and difficulties. All we have to know is how to access this wisdom [see Chapter IV].
Postscript: The next Spring and then the following New Year’s I received e-mails from Diane, which I combined here:
Guess what Jack?! I finally got it. I am now living for today only.
