at it. I could not help but feel that the professor was cold toward me in classes.”
“Was that a feeling only?” asked Gilda Emerson, “or were there some actions or tangible attitudes to cause you to feel that way. It’s difficult to describe attitudes, I know, but not impossible.”
“It turned out to be more than a feeling,” responded Leo, “there were actions and attitudes throughout the year to substantiate my feelings.”
“Can you describe these actions and attitudes?” pressed Gilda.
“A-h-h-h, he was just a screwball,” Leo replied in disgust.
“Maybe so,” came back Gilda, “but you are falling into the very common booby-trap that allows such screwballs to go on their miserable way, trampling on whomever they choose, according to their own whim and fancy. Then good people like yourself simply walk away from them and stay away from them, shrugging them off as funny or ill-natured characters with whom you want nothing further to do. Such an attitude as that by you and many others like you in similar circumstances, just serves to allow them to set up and rule their own little domain. In it they can include and exclude others at will regardless of the havoc it wreaks on other peoples lives and careers. Just so that their little kingdom isn’t upset is all that matters to them. Then you, a victim, just shrug them off as being of a funny makeup or ill-natured and do and say nothing further about it. Come on Leo,” urged Gilda, obviously moved to deep feeling on the matter, “put it into words. You can do it. Let’s get to the root of the matter and bring it out into the open. Describe to us those funny, those ill-natured, those screwball, if you wish, actions and attitudes. We’ll help you,” she added, now beaming with excitement. “Come on, let’s do it!”
Leo was held in amazement by Gilda’s challenge. After a brief pause he looked around at the other group members. There was no response from them, for they too were somewhat amazed, but more than that, they stared at Leo, as if in support of Gilda and her demand that he take up the challenge. There was silence.
“Describe with words a screwball’s attitudes!” repeated Leo slowly and thoughtfully-then after a pause added quickly, “sure, sure why not.”
“As you tell of your experiences with this professor throughout the year,” came back Gilda, “Let’s try to describe his attitudes toward you; I can help you with it, and I’m sure some others present can as well.”
“I think I can help with that” agreed Owen.
“I can too” responded Collin.
“I’ll try” joined in Brett Culver, “but it’s a brain drain. I usually try to ignore or avoid such mind boggling exercises, but this case can be an exception.”
“I guess it is possible” pondered Donna Coyne aloud. “I’ve never bothered, but it would be an interesting experiment among friends. I’m for it.”
Albin Anders and Dr. Eldren remained silent. This was unknown territory for them. Hopefully Albin will learn from it; but more important if Dr. Eldren will take a positive attitude towards it, thought Collin again to himself, then we will all come out unscathed.
Everyone in the group looked toward Leo, waiting for him to try. Leo began, “The outstanding thing that comes to my mind concerning the remainder of the year in that course is his behavior towards me in class. I’ll try to illustrate that behavior throughout the year, then between us maybe we can describe it more fully, and make some sense out of it.”
“There won’t be much sense to it,” quipped Collin, “mostly nonsense, NON-SENSE, he spelled it out, emphasizing the hyphen.
There was a chuckle.
“But we can describe even a weird attitude enough to better our understanding of the matter,” insisted Gilda. “nonsense isn’t always easy to understand. It can drive you right out of your mind if you let it. But if you learn to take it in your stride, then understanding such behavior in other people can be a great asset in enabling you to cope with them. At least you can cope with them after a fashion.”
Collin shifted uneasily in his chair, but said nothing.
Brett shook his head, “understanding is one thing, coping is another.”
He intended to continue on that aspect of the matter, but Collin interrupted, “maybe we can extend our format here to accommodate the matter of coping. Earlier we decided to leave the ‘whys’ and ‘wherefores,’ the analyses, until later. Perhaps now the coping aspects can come after that again.”
“That sounds reasonable” offered Dr. Eldren, “we certainly need the full story from each one before we can adequately cope with coping,” he said amusingly. “Of course,” he added more seriously, “there is bound to be some overlapping of the three. However, if we find at any time during the relating of the experiences that we are getting off too much on the why and coping aspect, let us check ourselves and leave these matters until later when we have the grounding on which to base them.”
There was general agreement.
Leo continued to tell his story. “After the unproductive interview with the professor, I was uneasy about my standing with him. During the next class this uneasiness was substantiated by the professor’s attitude toward me. As he lectured he looked everywhere around the classroom except in my direction. I felt somewhat self-conscious about it. I struggled not to let it interrupt my concentration. On reflection after class I recalled he had avoided looking at me in the class that was held before the interview. As time went on I came to feel he didn’t like me at all.”
Gilda perked up in her chair. “You came to feel he didn’t like you?” she asked, placing much emphasis on the word ‘feel’.
“Yes--well, he did things throughout the year to make me feel that way--I mean it wasn’t feelings only. It became obvious to me and to some others too, that he didn’t like me,” replied Leo nervously.
“Ah, good” sparked Gilda, “that’s what we want to hear. We want you to describe the things he did, the actual actions of his that made you feel the way you did. These actions are not as intangible as one might think.”
“You’re giving me a tough assignment Gilda,” remarked Leo, “but I see what you’re getting at now, and I think I can respond sufficiently to bring out the points you are after.”
“If you don’t” responded Gilda, amusingly but meaningfully, “Dr. Eldren here will think you are imagining these things; reading into your professors actions and attitudes persecution against yourself, a feeling, just a feeling,” she emphasized, “brought on by your first unpleasant encounter with him.”
“Oh-h-” replied Leo, looking apprehensively to Dr. Eldren, then back to Gilda as though looking for further clarification. Collin could not help but join in on what in the past he had seen to become a fray between doctor and patient. It was against his better judgment to get involved in such an issue as this, but he was free to walk out if he pleased, he reminded himself.
“Paranoia?” Collin queried, before Gilda had been able to continue.
“Yes” said Gilda, unabashedly, even defiantly, “that’s been my experience.”
Tension mounted quickly throughout the group. Dr. Eldren looked with concern at Gilda, then around at the others. Collin wondered whether Dr. Eldren would tip his scale in favor of or against
