just decided I would talk to this professor as well, and ask him how I could improve my grade in his subject, fully realizing in the meantime that the two professors may well have different approaches to certain aspects of their presentations. I was ready to make allowances for that, but as time went by I was to find that it would not be so simple.
“I approached the second professor as I had the first, without complaint, and with an earnest enquiry as to how I might improve my grade in that subject. I approached him in the classroom after the lecture one evening. His reception of me was cold and seemingly lacking interest. He looked at his watch and told me he didn’t have time to talk now, but if I would make an appointment to see him in his office next week, perhaps he would have time to spare then.”
Collin smiled. He was familiar with the watch trick, the not having time - the put-off. For sure, he thought, there will be more avoidance to come.
Leo continued, “The professor spoke in such a condescending tone and manner that I felt strangely alienated from him at once. As I have already said, however, getting good grades in English is very important to me, so I continued to press him courteously but firmly, ‘You set the date and time for next week sir, and I’ll be there.”
“We-l-l,” he said vaguely, “I hardly know at this distance when it can be. You may speak to me about the matter again after class next Tuesday.” I suspected then that he might be putting me off. Nevertheless, on the next Tuesday I approached him again, this time before class. He fumbled a little for words, perhaps for a way out, I can’t be sure. Then, as if cornered he condescended again, “You may come to my office for a few minutes this evening, about fifteen minutes following this class. I’ll see what I can do to help you.”
“I wondered why he couldn’t speak to me in the lecture room,” Leo went on with his story. “But just as he suggested, I went to his office at the time stated. As I was about to knock on the half opened door, he beckoned me to come in. He sat behind his cleared desk looking very official, motioned to me with his hand and in a cold tone suggested I take the chair beside the wall, move it up to his desk and sit down a minute - a minute mind you,” emphasized Leo.
“Now,’ said the professor, leaning forward and with a low growl as I sat before him, ‘you think you should be getting a higher grade in your work?’
‘Not exactly, sir,’ I replied, ‘I would like to know how I can improve my work so that I can earn a higher grade.’
‘The professor came back as sharply as he dared without being openly hostile, ‘And what makes you think you have the ability to get a higher grade in this subject?’
“‘Well,” I said, as I shrugged my shoulders, ‘I won’t know till I try will I professor?”
‘The professor’s face dropped noticeably, and for a second or two he was stuck for words. Then finding his way out, he responded, “If I remember correctly, your composition is not too bad”--then he paused as if waiting for reaction from me. There was none. I was waiting for him to play his hand more fully. The pause came to an end. “This is a very complex and often difficult course. Some of the authors we are studying have a great deal of ambiguity about them, and it will require a well developed skill to really see through to their deeper meaning and interpret it in a sound and acceptable manner. Throughout the year, Mr. Aidan, you may develop this skill, but only time will tell to what extent.”
There was a dead silence in the support group at the sound of what Leo had just related. Collin, half smiling, half moved to anger, shook his head, not in disbelief, for this type of behavior was all too familiar to him, but in disgust. He thought it through to himself: the professor was sending Leo on a fool’s errand to search for the answers himself throughout the year. Of course he would never find them to the satisfaction of the professor, who would continually indicate to him that he wasn’t doing well with it. The end results-Leo’s confidence and self-esteem would be lowered. Also, he may be worn out from trying. The professor is envious of Leo because he stands out in public in a dignified way, which is how he would like to be. But he doesn’t have what it takes to do so. Therefore he turned on Leo. It is a mind-game. One of the foremost used by wayward educators. We will have to go into this one more thoroughly, later when it will more readily believed.
Dr. Eldren, his attention attracted by Collin’s head shaking, gazed at Collin in a mixture of wonderment and respect. His lips showed just a faint trace of a smile. The doctor was catching on but said nothing. It was too soon for comment.
Collin could have finished that story for Leo, but he remained silent, and Leo continued, “‘well professor’, I said, no doubt you can tell me what critics I can read on the works we are covering in this course. Especially since I am just a first year student, I would say it would be in order for me to allow myself to be guided by them, would it not?”
“‘Yes of course” the professor responded quickly, and defensively; then leaning forward again and in a slower, colder tone he added, ‘but the critics too can be very ambiguous. No! ‘he said sharply, ‘it will depend mostly on your own ability to discern. As for the critics you should read, the names of these will be given in class at the appropriate times to cover each author we study.’”
“‘Yes of course sir,’ I replied. I could not help but feel at the time that there was prejudice involved, but I wasn’t sure. I would give him the benefit of the doubt. ‘I will try my best sir to develop the skills necessary to get a better grade in this course. Thank you for your time. Good night,’ I said as I rose to leave.
“‘Good night’, he said, with a churlish smile as I turned and walked out of his office.”
The group remained silent, waiting for Leo to continue. The pause was broken by Albin with a premature and ill-constructed question. “Why was he prejudiced against you Leo,” asked Albin. “Was it the quality of your work, or was it you yourself?”
Leo was embarrassed. Collin jumped to Leo’s rescue, “Albin, I would say it is too early in Leo’s story for us to discuss whether there was prejudice involved, although at present it certainly seems such is the case. Why not wait until he has related his whole story. Then we will in all probability be better able to determine and understand more surely whether prejudice was definitely involved and why. If we do eventually determine that it was prejudice, I would suggest that the ‘why’ of it - the motivation for it, be explored at that time.”
“What do you think, Dr. Eldren,” asked Owen courteously.
“I think Collin has a good point there,” responded the doctor. “After all, you people seem to have a basic problem in common. So then there is a good possibility you all have something in common when it comes to the ‘why’ of it - in fact I suspect already that you truly have.
However, I agree with Collin, leave the whys and wherefores, so to speak, or the analysis, until we have heard more experiences to give us better understanding. Is that what you had in mind Collin?”
“Yes, Dr. Eldren, plus the fact that by waiting until more stories are told, the whys and wherefores of the matter will be clearly illustrated, I feel sure,” replied Collin confidently.
Dr. Eldren nodded approval.
“Sounds super to me,” remarked Owen. The others expressed agreement also.
Dr. Eldren was pleased. “It seems we are off to a good start folks, and we are getting our format in order as we proceed. The experience Leo has just related to us took place nearly a year ago. I talked to him about it at that time. Now I think it will be interesting and helpful to our purpose to hear the remainder of the experience
