MUCH better than that. Footy only lasts a couple of hours. This gift is ongoing!”
“What could be better than Footy?” Shonky was a staunch Cowboys fan.
“The new chick in our department. She is piping HOT!” Kylie said.
“Awesome!” they all cheered. “When are we meeting her?”
“Yeah, When, when, when, when?” Shonky said panting like a kid wanting to unwrap a Christmas present early.
“Tomorrow at 10 am. I strongly suggest ya’ll shower twice in the morning and do a double check that your fly is up we don’t want any uninvited guests turning up. She’s coming down for morning tea with the Boss.”
“Woohoo! So are we getting some donuts or a cake?” a crew member asked.
“Nope, I’m making cupcakes!” Kylie said proudly.
“You? You’re.....gonna.....cook?” Shonky said.
“Yeah Shonky, I’m gonna cook!” Kylie said walking up to him and talking directly in his face “What are you trying to say?”
“Well I hope it turns out better than your ‘no chewing required’ cheesecake!” He laughed and the other men joined in.
“Oh, yeah, that cheesecake was ordinary, Kylie,” another crew member agreed.
“Hey, I had the right product, I just didn’t have the right demographic. That cheesecake would be great for pensioners, or anyone else who no longer has teeth and has to drink their food!” Kylie said seriously then caught herself laughing. Her disastrous attempt at cooking a lemon cheesecake was only realised after she had prepared it and taken it to a welcome crew Barbeque. Everyone had brought a plate, and by that, every crew member’s wife had prepared a dish of restaurant quality. When Kylie presented her cake it looked fantastic, but when she cut it, it had the consistency of yoghurt. It hadn’t set and it required a spoon to dish it onto a plate. When it was cut, the line of the knife dissolved back into the white gooey mess and after a section had been spooned out onto a plate, the cake filled in on itself and the level dropped but it looked like a full cake again. Kylie was the only one game enough to try a ‘piece’ and despite the consistency she thoroughly enjoyed it. Shonky did test out a spoonful but no one else wanted to sample any and they all insisted she take it with her when she left. They also suggested she never bring another one like it ever again.
“It was a high viscosity dessert and I enjoyed every spoonful,” she said proudly.
“It was pretty sweet. Sickly sweet from what I can remember,” Shonky said.
“Oh yeah, it was all scha-weet, but it was all my-en!” Kylie replied.
“So you still think it’s a good idea to cook cupcakes?” Shonky asked.
“Yeah, I’ll have a go, see what happens,” Kylie said optimistically.
“Righto!” they echoed then finished their meals silently.
“Remember, 10 am tomorrow lads!” Kylie said walking out of the kitchen and back to her desk.
“Rogerhhh,” they answered in unison.
Kylie couldn’t wait to get home that afternoon. She had a purpose and it excited her to do something for someone else, especially a potential friend.
Kylie’s cupcakes were a complete success. She had paid extra attention to the instructions on the cupcake packet and made sure every measurement was true and correct. Then she had stalked the oven continually so that she would not get distracted and let them burn. The pink icing looked fantastic and after she finished decorating them with the Welcome Mila message, she put them in a Tupperware container in the fridge. She hoped that Mila would be just as impressed as she was with her efforts.
Kylie wore her favourite pink sundress and heels to work the next day instead of jeans. She wanted to celebrate another girl coming to the office and thought it would be a great opportunity to get a photo of the new team to send in to the company newsletter Candid Talk, plus also have an enlarged photo framed for their Port Office Wall. The previous evening she had booked into a hairdresser for a professional finish blow dry and had woken early in the morning, showered and accented her blue eyes with a pale pink palette and black eye shadow and highlighted her cheeks with a brush of blush. She was looking her very best. When she arrived at work even the guys were impressed.
“Wow look at you? Do you have to go to court today or something?” Shonky asked as he eyed her up and down.
“Nah, Just thought I’d frock up since we have a special guest coming today,” she said.
“Who’s that?” he asked.
“Mila – the new girl! Remember she is coming down here at 10 am? Look at my cupcakes!” she said without opening the Tupperware container in her hand.
“Is that what you call them,” Shonky said blushing and looking at her chest.
“You grub,” she said. “Look! I successfully baked cupcakes.” She held up the container and took off the lid so he could see her masterpiece!
“Wow, they look great! Nice work. I’m sure Mila will be very impressed,” he said.
“Thank you,” Kylie said, chuffed at her efforts.
“Even if they do taste like shit!” he added jokingly.
“You don’t have to have one Shonky, you won’t starve,” she said.
“No need to get personal,” he said with a frown.
“Oh, what, you can say my cupcakes taste like shit but I can’t say you look like it?”
“No, that’s mean. And it may result in me making a comment about the size of your arse.”
“Listen here, apparently my arse has been on an expansion project since I left home, since I hate cooking and may have been over indulging on takeaway, but don’t you worry about it getting any bigger coz I’m going to join a sport this week and go from Nottie to Hottie again real soon.”
“Good for you Miss Mick Man-Arse.”
She softly punched him on the shoulder then put the cupcakes in the fridge.
At 9.30 am Kylie made a reminder call on the two-way radio in a voice that sounded like a peg had been clipped on her nose, “Attention Please, this is a reminder for all those smelling of ferral-mones to have a tub and respray their desired choice of stink pretty for the arrival of the insatiable Miss Mila at 10 am. I repeat. If you are a stinken arse, get your skates on to the shower and sort yourself out! You will not be disappointed. Over.”
It was a private channel and only the six people based onsite had access to it so the banter across the airwaves could at times be very playful.
“Rogerhhhhhh,” Shonky replied over his hand-held radio, walking out from his office to Kylie’s desk as he said it. “Everyone is in the shower as we speak,” he said into the radio again, despite now standing directly in front of Kylie’s desk and eyeballing her.
“Rogerhhhhhhhhh,”
