The parents had no choice in the matter, and any who protested the removal of their children faced possible imprisonment. The schools were often such long distances away that families lost contact. Visits were seldom permitted.
In the schools, children were forbidden to speak their native language or practice their culture and were often punished for doing so. They were subjected to sexual and mental abuse as well as severe beatings, and many were required to do hard labour. The quality of food they received was poor: too many reports of mouldy, maggot-infested, rotten food surfaced to be ignored.
Children removed from their homes didn’t have a chance to learn parenting skills. Many forgot their native language and traditions. Others adopted the abusive behaviours, continuing the cycle of abuse and trauma from one generation to the next.
These communities and people continue to be in great need of healing. Their pain is reflected in high rates of substance abuse, violence, crime, suicide and imprisonment. Dysfunction marks family life. First Nations children today suffer with post-traumatic stress syndrome as a result of abuse experienced by their grandparents and great-grandparents.
In recent years churches and the federal government have issued various statements of apology to Indigenous people, the most notable of which was Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s on June 11, 2008, on behalf of all Canadians for the years of residential school atrocities committed against First Nations people.
While the apologies have been necessary, and are welcome, they have not been able to remove the memories of the outrageous treatment First Nations people endured. The abuses have resulted in deep emotional and psychological damage that has made it extremely difficult for survivors to reengage in normal family, social and professional life.
Hundreds of healing initiatives and projects have been funded through the federal government’s Aboriginal Healing Foundation and other organizations, but few truly understand the hearts of First Nations people. It’s difficult for Canadians to relate to the suffering of Indigenous people because the residential school experience is foreign to their own.
Among the First Nations there is a deep sadness and grief that breeds hopelessness. According to the chiefs, my story dispels grief because I have crossed the divide from hopelessness to healing. When I tell my story, First Nations people identify with it. The chiefs hope their people will receive healing and freedom through it. Thus the reason for writing this book!
I have learned that, as with any authentic relationship, the key to involvement with First Nations people is respect. It is especially important to develop a relationship with an elder. By developing a relationship with an elder, one learns about their culture and comes to understand what transpired in their communities as a result of colonization and assimilation.
During my years of relationship with First Nations people, I have had the privilege of being connected with pastor, counsellor and elder Lorne Shepherd. Lorne has been consistently involved with my story: he counselled me and became my spiritual father. His comments in the “Pause and Reflect” sections are written from a counsellor’s perspective to bring understanding and revelation to various experiences in my story.
Also, I am honoured to have the involvement of pastor and Native American Music Award recipient Becky Thomas in this project. Her contribution of the “Discussion and Study Guide” has enriched and given depth to my story. It motivates people to explore their own hearts and relationships to bring wholeness and healing. She also wrote the questions for “Pause and Reflect,” giving readers a chance to consider and apply Lorne’s nuggets of wisdom within the context of their own lives and circumstances.
I pray that the eyes of your understanding would be enlightened in reading my story and that God would lead you, as you consider the wisdom Lorne and Becky share, to discover the blessings God has reserved for you.
Belma Vardy
Introduction to
Pause and Reflect and
Discussion and Study Guide
Dear Reader,
While reading Belma’s story, you may identify with her experiences. It may open old wounds and trigger painful memories. When such memories surface, we can choose to stuff them back into the dark recesses or dusty attics of our minds or to face them and begin a lengthy cleanup.
Cleaning old wounds can be extremely painful; it takes a brave soul to choose this route. However, in facing the pain we come to understand that a broken heart, like a broken bone, needs to be “reset” to function properly. If we care about our emotional and mental health like we do our physical health, we won’t stuff the painful memories back even deeper into the dark places of our minds. We will seek healing for their causes rather than apply a Band-Aid of addictions to mask the festering outward symptoms of our brokenness.
Belma neither hid her pain nor became her own doctor, spending years in self-help groups. Instead, she faced her troubles as she waited on the Great Physician and Wonderful Counsellor to examine her and choose the method of treatment. A good patient, she obeyed His instructions—a habit she continues in other areas of her life. This book is a narrative of how God redeemed and restored her and shaped her life into a masterpiece of great victory and miracles as she focused her worship and devotion on Him.
As you read Belma’s story, we invite you to slow down enough to hear and capture God’s heart for yourself. Lift your eyes heavenward. Invite your heavenly Father to reset your heart. Find out where He is and what He is doing in your own story. Allow yourself to get “unstuck” from past and present circumstances. Know that you’re not alone.
To this end, we provide two resources for you, intended to give you, dear reader, an opportunity to come closer to God, our Healer. “Pause and Reflect” sections at the end of several chapters provide reflections from Lorne Shepherd, a Christian counsellor and Belma’s friend, and following the epilogue is a “Discussion and Study Guide.” Both resources can be used for personal use or in a small-group setting.
Healing came to Belma as she focused on loving and obeying God and allowed some of her needs to be met through faith-filled, faithful friends, like Lorne Shepherd. We encourage you to get the support of friends and to use the study guide in a discussion group to gain insights from others.
Whether you choose to use one or both of these studies, be blessed with health, hope and understanding. The promise of Jeremiah 29:11–13 is for you: “I know the plans I have for you…to prosper you and not to harm you…to give you hope and a future…You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (NIV).
On behalf of Belma and Lorne,
Becky Thomas
P.S. If you haven’t yet yielded your life to the Great Physician and Counsellor, why not do it now? Use this prayer as a guide:
Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me today. I know I have erred many times. Please forgive me for these wrongs, and heal me and those I have wronged from sin’s effects, even as You heal me from effects of wrongs committed against me. Thank You for providing Your Son, Jesus, who paid for all sin by taking the punishment on His own body through death on a cross. My Healer and Counsellor, I invite You into my heart and choose to live life on Your terms. Amen.
Chapter 1
Terror in the Night
He will cover you with his feathers,
and
