CASH
Besides, those kids just want to make fun of you.
LOWELL
No they don’t.
HARDY
No they don’t.
CASH
And if you are at that—stage, then—then I think you should talk to someone who can help. The minister. I have to get to work.
LOWELL
It’s Sunday.
CASH
Is it?
LOWELL
Are you sneaking off to church again?
CASH is gone.
LOWELL
Mom was trying to pretend she wasn’t a Christian.
MILTON
Why pretending?
HARDY appears, with magazines.
HARDY
Opiate for the masses.
LOWELL
Grandpa didn’t want any Christians in our house.
HARDY
Never talk to a minister about sex, Lowell, unless you don’t want to have any. I suppose I’ll have to step in here. Have you ever been to a prostitute?
LOWELL
I’m only fifteen.
HARDY
Well, I’ll have to show you some pictures then.
LOWELL
Grandpa showed me pictures, from his private collection.
HARDY
People who don’t like this call it pornography.
LOWELL
I’ve seen pictures like this before, Grandpa; believe me.
HARDY
Of course you have, but not in any objective way. Let me just start by saying, these are not naked women, Lowell. These are pictures of naked women. There’s a difference. In order for a woman to have her picture taken, she had to strip in front of a camera. I want you to think about that.
LOWELL
Okay.
HARDY
It’s a non-union job.
LOWELL
Is it?
HARDY
You can rely on these for pleasure but not for any lasting satisfaction. I recommend this one here. It’ll give you a few unexpected biological insights. That’s a labia.
LOWELL
Gee.
HARDY
Try to remember, while viewing this, that this, here, is also the passage through which children are brought into the world; you yourself entered through such a passage. It’s a miraculous place, Lowell. Covet it and respect it, simultaneously.
CASH
(re-entering) Are you completely out of your—are you out of your ever-loving mind?
HARDY
I can’t stop the free flow of information.
CASH
It’s getting to the point where I can’t trust you alone with him. Where’s my I.D. badge?
HARDY
You can trust me.
CASH
You think it’s clever to treat him like an adult.
HARDY
The boy is gifted in ways you don’t know.
CASH
See? You put that kind of idea in his head; it makes him think he’s invincible. It’s dangerous. You know how reckless he can get.
HARDY
He’s been misdiagnosed. That is, if you want my medical opinion.
CASH
I don’t.
HARDY
Quit trying to control him. You turn him into a dullard, a vacant parking lot.
CASH
I’m trying to help him.
HARDY
Mind control, that’s all that is. You can’t control people, Cash. That’s part of your problem. You want to control people.
CASH
No I don’t. I do not. Control people?
HARDY
What about Connor?
CASH
What about him?
HARDY
I only mention him.
CASH
In a conversation about me wanting to control people.
HARDY
Draw your own conclusions.
CASH
Connor was sleeping with another woman.
HARDY
So what?
CASH
So what?
HARDY
He was redefining himself in the context of his redundancy.
CASH
What?
HARDY
It’s
