to top it all off, fewer and fewer Americans go on vacation. No wonder we’re so stressed!
You have to take your time to save time.
We lose time when we run ragged and get sick. We think we don’t have time to cook healthy meals or exercise, yet we’re forced to create time to go to doctor appointments and miss work to sleep off whatever illness struck us down. Why not stay healthy instead, and use the “illness time” saved to have fun?
Let’s take time for self-care.
NEXT STEPS
Nancy focused on implementing the tactics in this chapter for a solid month. Every time she felt like returning to her old ways, she reminded herself that those old ways were exactly why she was a frazzled wreck. After this focused, intentional month of concentrating on her self-care, these tactics slowly became habits and no longer seemed like a chore. With her brain running on all cylinders, she made much better decisions about how she used her time.
• What elements of self-care are you already practicing?
• Which element of self-care would you like to add to what you already do?
• How will you make sure that it gets implemented?
• How will implementing the strategies and tactics in this chapter benefit you?
My sister-in-law’s family is from Hawaii, so every other summer she and my brother (who’s a genius with elevator repairs) go there for vacation. The last time my brother came home from Hawaii, he called me and said, “I want to move there.” From the tone in his voice, I could tell that he was pretty serious. And when he said, “We looked at some places to live,” I knew he was completely serious.
I said, “You must have had a fantastic vacation!”
He told me, “They have such a laid-back life there. The beach is five minutes away. The food is fresh. It’s so much better than L.A.”
“Awesome!” I exclaimed. “If you guys move there, we’ll have a place to stay for free!”
After giving him some support, I started asking him a few questions about the future move.
“How were the houses you saw?”
“They’re really expensive. We’d have a bigger mortgage over there.”
“How far would your commute be to work?”
“There aren’t any tall buildings nearby.”
“How far is your house right now from the beach?”
“About five minutes.”
“When I come visit you next time, will you take me to the farmers’ market down the street from your house?”
“Sure.”
About a week after this conversation took place, my brother called me to say that they had decided not to move. You see, after reflecting and writing down everything they liked about Hawaii, they realized that they have almost all of that where they currently live. They just took it for granted. This past summer, they went to the beach three days a week after work. And they’re enjoying all the delicious food in their area. They began to look first at what’s good in their life and what they already have before examining any perceived deficits. They examined each situation’s pros and cons objectively. They planned before diving in. That’s reflecting with power.
GOAL
At the end of each day, celebrate all your wins — both minuscule and grand — as well as what you have in your life, before trying to improve upon what didn’t work. Never start with, “I didn’t get xyz done.”
TACTICS
Take a few moments each day (or at least each week) to reflect on what you’ve been doing to work toward your personal priorities and targets and your work priorities and targets.
Ask yourself:
• What tasks (small, medium, large, and extra-grande) did I finish and need to celebrate?
• Have I stopped and made any decisions based on my priorities and targets? (Celebrate!)
• Have I said no to something that wasn’t going to fully benefit me? (Celebrate!)
• What worked? (Celebrate! And keep doing this.)
• What are the lessons I learned from all this good stuff I did?
Reflecting on at least one positive step forward will give you the encouragement you need to stay focused on your personal and work priorities and targets, which will help you to make better decisions about how you use your time. This is reflecting with power.
Next, ask yourself:
• What glitches occurred?
• Why did they happen?
• What did I learn from what transpired?
• What can be done to prevent them from happening again?
• What do I need to make more time for?
• What do I need to take off my plate to make more time for that?
When most folks reflect, they skip the prior “round one” positive questions and celebrations. They instead start and stop with only the first question in this “round two” section. And then they stay frustrated. Raise your hands in the air and let out a big “Yahoo!” for taking the time to reflect with power on all these questions, as doing so will increase your positivity and brainpower, which will in turn improve the decisions you make about how to use your time.
If you have a team to whom you delegate or with whom you work, reflect at the end of each week:
• What did each team member do well?
Let them know! Communicate this as they complete a job well or at the end of each week. If all they ever hear is what they did wrong, that’ll be a bummer for them and will not motivate them to do their best for you.
Next, ask yourself and your team:
• What glitches occurred?
• Why did they happen?
• What did we learn from what transpired?
• What can be done to prevent them from happening again?
Don’t let miscommunication or noncommunication evolve into shoddy work and animosity. Nip it in the bud by addressing this during your
