order to stay focused on what you’re trying to accomplish in your career, you need to understand what your priorities in life are. We often think we know what they are because we’ve casually thought about them from time to time, but until we set our priorities down on paper (or in the computer) in a place where we can view them on a daily basis, they do not become ingrained in our thoughts. And when they’re not ingrained, we tend to lose sight of the big picture and wind up lost — off our path, in the opposite direction of our mission.
While we all have daily priorities like ensuring that we have enough gas in our vehicle to get to the next meeting, or making sure that we have dinner at some point in the evening, we need to examine the bigger picture.
I have multiple clients who, when their careers first started taking off, would work all day long, take a break to have dinner with the family, and then go right back to working on their computers. The time they used to spend in togetherness with their families in the evenings had been replaced by quality time with the computer. And that put a bit of strain on their relationships. They had lost sight of two of their priorities: their spouse and children. The decisions they were making at the time were not supporting their relationships with their families. That needed to change.
Many of my clients struggle with guilt. They’d wanted to attend all their kids’ games, but they began missing many of them because their schedules became so hectic. In the back of their minds, they knew they wanted to be on the sidelines to root for their children, but they did not have this priority listed in a place where they could view it when it came time to plan their calendars. “Attending my kids’ games” was one of the first items they listed when we put together their priorities list.
By the way, who should be at the very top of your priorities list? That’s right — you! What’s this, you ask? Why you? Well, when it comes down to it, it really is all about you.
Let’s use an analogy. It’s one I’m sure you’ve heard used many times, but I’m going to use it again here because it’s so accurate. If you’ve ever flown in an airplane, then you know the drill that the flight attendants go through during their preflight safety checklist. Frequent fliers are still talking on their phones or flipping through magazines and usually ignore the verbal safety instructions. During the presentation, this line is uttered:
It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.
— Attributed to Lucille Ball
“In the event that cabin pressure changes and oxygen masks are needed, please adjust yours first before helping others around you.”
Mmm. So true. How can we help others if we can’t breathe ourselves?
So, it’s time to put on our own oxygen masks.
Knowing what our top three or four priorities are in our lives gives us the clarity to make better decisions about how we use our time each day. No need to wait for a fire or near-death experience to force you to reevaluate your life!
When we move from having thoughts float around between the conscious and subconscious parts of our brains, to having those thoughts reside fully in the conscious part, we become more aware and focused. That’s what happens when we write down our goals and view them daily. They’re no longer random thoughts that pop in and out of our minds. The wiring in our brains that helped us to capture these ideas helps us to turn those random thoughts into focused goals.
As you mull over the questions I’ll ask in the following paragraphs, don’t focus yet on when these things will happen. Instead, focus on what it is that needs to happen.
People
Whom do you want to keep happy in your life? Your significant other? Your kids? Who is important to you? They will be your people priorities. Whatever future decisions you’ll need to make will be based on whether the action you take will support the relationship you want to have with your people priorities.
Activities
What activities will support the relationships you want to have with your people priorities? Is participating in a religious organization a priority? Is travel a priority? What activities will bring you peace? What activities will support your own personal health and well-being? Whatever future decisions you’ll need to make will be based on whether the action you take will support your activity priorities.
Work
Is your career a priority? What is your company’s mission? What business goals are you trying to accomplish? What activities will bring you income or revenue? If you work for a company, which tasks get you the highest rankings on your annual evaluations? Whatever future decisions you’ll need to make will be based on whether the action you take will support your work priorities.
Ah, clarity. You now have a clear idea of your mission in life. This will allow you to make better decisions about how you use your time. The next time your brain tries to drag you away from the present and you have to decide whether to follow that tangent, or the next time someone asks you to do something, make a decision based on the priorities that you’ve just written down.
Will doing xyz task help you to achieve a priority on your list?
If the answer is yes, get it done. If the answer is no, don’t do it. If you have a boss who disagrees, be sure to read part 3, in which we discuss how to communicate with others. If you are your own boss, you have the power to make these decisions.
Hang on to your brainstorm exercises. We’ll be using these, along with your priorities lists, a little later. We’ll learn how to use these lists to schedule your days, and I’ll go into more detail on how to make better decisions about how to use your time.
• Where will you post your personal priorities list?
• Where will you post your work priorities list?
• When, each day (or evening), will you view these lists?
• Viewing your priorities lists on a daily basis has most likely not been a tactic you’ve applied regularly. How will you remind yourself to do this every day?
• Where can you store these lists so that you can readily view them when you need to make a decision?
• How will implementing the strategies and tactics in this chapter benefit you?
Richard had grown tired of the corporate world. He wound up resigning and purchasing a franchise. He figured that if he was going to work long hours, he may as well be the owner and get paid better.
Boy, was he overwhelmed in no time. There was so much that went into running a business, even if it already came with its own operations manual and training courses. He spent less and less time at home. And when he was home, he was still working, oblivious to everyone around him.
When an employee or manager called and asked him for something, he’d jump
