a similar range of expressions, set phrases, quiet conversation, gestures such as the Sign of the Cross, and the intimate embrace of the sacraments. Just as a man and woman truly grow in love by repeating, “I love you,” so we Christians grow in love by repeating the prayers of the Church’s great Tradition.
In the pages of this book, you’ll find many forms of prayer, and all of them are good. But not all of them will serve the needs of every Christian. It’s unlikely that anyone could fruitfully incorporate all of these devotions into a normal, everyday life. You need to find balance. You need to find the forms of prayer that suit you and help you to grow. These will vary depending on your temperament, personality, maturity, and season in life.
The ways of prayer are as varied as the ways of family life or professional life; and, like home life and work routines, our ways of prayer may change many times over the course of our lives. There will be seasons when we are especially grateful to God, and seasons when we feel especially sorry for our sins; there will be seasons when we feel God especially near, and times when we can’t seem to find Him. There will be times when we need a mother’s love, and then we will deepen our Marian devotion.
The important thing is to cultivate a life of prayer, for prayer is something living. It is no more a collection of techniques than you are a pile of bones and cells. Prayer is a heart that beats constantly within your soul. Prayer is a voice that raises itself instinctively to God. Prayer is a pair of eyes that see God in every person and every circumstance.
You’ve read this far because you want to pray. Perhaps you don’t feel the desire as intensely as you would like. But at least you want to want to pray, and that is enough for God to make a beginning.
Let’s begin, then, at the beginning. And let’s keep going ever afterward. We have the Lord’s assurance that, if we persevere in the ways of prayer, we will live a life that is nothing less than divine.
One
A Beginning
1. A “Plan of Life”
Any good business executive will tell you that the best way to succeed is first to establish goals, then develop a plan to reach your goals. That plan involves specific daily steps toward the goal.
This is true in the spiritual life as well, where our goal has already been defined for us. “God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church” (Catechism of the Catholic Church [CCC], n. 1). We need a spiritual plan — with daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly action steps — that will enable us respond to God, who draws close to us.
Such a program is sometimes called a plan of life and can include the following basic elements:
• Prayer
• Penance and mortification
• Sacramental life
• Spiritual reading
• Study of the faith
• Spiritual direction
• Practice of the Presence of God
As you go through this book, you’ll explore many aspects of prayer and devotions that can help you structure and strengthen your plan of life. As you’ll see, any good plan includes specifics. What must I do daily to reach my goal? What must I do weekly, monthly, yearly? Consistency is vital. We cannot help but form habits in our everyday life; but habits can be either good or bad. If we form good habits, such as daily prayer or regular study of our faith, these will move us closer to God and His will for our lives.
And so in preparing our plan, we ought to be specific about which devotions, which practices we will fulfill and precisely when we will fulfill them. Whenever possible, we should assign a fixed time for our prayers. If we manage our day using an appointment book, laptop, or smartphone, we can build prayer into the schedule, just as we would any other appointments.
When we want to succeed at something, we naturally turn to those who have already been successful, and we study what they do. Next, we identify those things that have led to their success. Then we imitate those things consistently. The saints who have gone before us have given us good examples of how to grow in a love relationship with God. We can follow their lead, studying the writings and biographies of the saints.
“All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.”
— Dogmatic Constitution on the Church (Lumen Gentium), n. 31 (CCC, n. 2013)
Keeping Your Balance
When developing a plan of life, it is important to maintain a balance. Don’t try to implement too much all at once. If you have not been praying regularly, it may not be a good idea to start by trying to pray an hour a day. Instead, begin by setting aside fifteen minutes a day — and be faithful to that time. It is better to start small and grow than to attempt something beyond your current ability and become disillusioned. The help of a priest or a mature Catholic layperson can be invaluable as you develop your plan.
While you don’t want to set expectations too high, you do want to be committed to the plan you’ve decided to follow. Let’s say that part of your plan includes an hour every Sunday dedicated to reading something that will help you learn more about your faith. You should make every effort to be faithful to that decision, even when it is difficult.
Your plan is a means of reaching a goal. But keep in mind that the essence of that goal is deepening your love relationship with God. Compare this love with other relationships in your life — your relationship with your spouse, good friends, co-workers, and so on. In each case, you need to devote time and energy to help the relationship grow. Sometimes that means sacrifice: you must, for example, turn off the television or forgo some other activity in order to spend time with the other person. It’s no different with God.
Make a Plan
“Sow an act, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
— Anonymous
“Let us listen to Our Lord: ‘He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little thing is dishonest also in much.’ It is as if He were saying to us: ‘Fight continuously in the apparently unimportant things which are to My mind important; fulfill your duty punctually; smile at whoever needs cheering up, even though there is sorrow in your soul; devote the necessary time to prayer, without haggling.’”
— St. Josemaría Escrivá
“How easily you leave the plan of life unfinished, or do things so badly that it is worse than not doing them at all. Is that the way you mean to fall in love more each day with your way, and to pass on this love later to others?”
— St. Josemaría Escrivá
“May He
