generous love which forgets itself;
a strong love which is not afraid of pain;
a stable love which does not change;
a patient love which never weakens;
a constant love which never falters.”
— Blessed Mother Mary Angela Truszkowska
2. How to Pray
Beginning to pray — this topic alone could easily consume an entire book. It could, in fact, fill many libraries. Yet, the essential concept of prayer is simple. One classic definition is: “The raising of the mind and heart to God in adoration, thanksgiving, reparation, and petition.” Prayer is communication with a God who loves us. It is important to remember that Christ is the one who has initiated this communication with us. Prayer is our response to Jesus and His love for us.
Prayer involves mental activity. We turn our minds to God. However, it is much deeper than mere thinking. Prayer also is a love embrace of God. It can be vocal or meditative, private or public. It may involve words, whether of a formula or our own. Contemplation of the mystery of God and His goodness and love can also form our prayer.
Daily personal prayer is a gateway to developing a more intimate relationship with God. Set aside a specific time to pray. A specific place can also be helpful, perhaps in church before our Lord in the tabernacle, or in the solitude of your bedroom, or in some other place that is quiet and as free of distractions as possible. Begin your prayer by an act of the will, focus on God and place yourself in His presence. Of course, you’re always in God’s presence; but you’re not always aware of it. Make yourself aware of His presence, and greet Him affectionately. Such a greeting is a great way to start any conversation.
As you begin to pray, it can help to have some structured format. Maybe you’ll spend part of the time reciting formal prayers from memory or from a good prayer book. Remember, this shouldn’t be mindless activity but rather an opportunity to concentrate your thoughts on God and what the words mean and express. The Our Father is a prayer that is easily memorized, yet it holds a treasure of meaning and intention for the person who uses it meditatively.
If you are married and read a news article aloud to your spouse, you don’t do it mindlessly. You wish to convey meaning to the person you love. Your heart and mind listen and observe as you read. Even though you read the words of someone else, you enter into the purpose and sentiment of those words and they become your own. They are a vehicle for expressing your thoughts, hopes, and longings to the other.
Our use of formal prayers works the same way. As we bring those words to God, we also bring the meaning that they convey. We pray them in the presence of God, who can work in our hearts and minds through His Holy Spirit to form us and mold us into strong, faithful Christians. God will help us to take the thoughts and sentiments of our formal prayers as our very own. Over time, we will experience His love for us as we pray in this manner.
As valuable as formal prayers can be, we must nevertheless reserve a generous part of our prayer time for conversation with God. Christ is present, and you have made an act of the will to be present with Him. He loves you more than anyone in this world loves you. He desires to hear you and speak with you. Our Lord is concerned with every aspect of your life. You can speak to Jesus about any and every element of your life. Tell Him of your needs, fears, frustrations, angers, sorrows, and hopes. Speak words of love, praise, and thanksgiving. You don’t need to speak any special language to Him. He knows you. Just tell Him what’s on your mind, in the words you would use with your best friend.
Consolations and Aridity
Sometimes, we can experience great consolations in prayer. At other times we may feel dry and alone. The secret is to be consistent in prayer. When you don’t know how or what to pray, there are several practical steps you can take. First, tell God of your difficulty and ask for His grace. Second, you can use some spiritual book to help you begin to talk to God. The Holy Scriptures are unsurpassed as tools for prayer. You can begin by asking the Holy Spirit, who inspired the writer, to inspire you, the reader. Read a small passage of Scripture and consider what it says to you personally. Then use it as a place to jump into prayer. Talk directly to God about what that passage is saying to you.
If the passage is extolling God for His greatness, then tell Him how much He means in your own life or how much you would like Him to mean. Ask Him to make you as devoted as the writer you just read. If the passage speaks of our responsibilities as Christians, take the opportunity to review how well you are carrying out your duties. Ask God’s forgiveness where you have failed, and ask His grace so that you may improve. Ask Him to show you specific areas where you might improve.
End your prayer at the time you’ve predetermined. If you had set aside fifteen minutes for prayer, end after fifteen minutes. Finish by thanking God for the opportunity to spend time with Him, tell Him that you love Him, and tell Him that you desire to follow Him faithfully. Always keep in mind that you can say these things even if you don’t particularly feel them at the moment. Of course, feelings of consolation are good and can help us to draw closer to God. Yet faith, not feelings, is the important element. Show the beginnings of faith by speaking as you will when God gives you greater grace, as He surely will. The great philosopher Blaise Pascal advised that we are cured of our lukewarmness by carrying out the actions “that will make you believe quite naturally, and will make you more docile.” It’s good to end your prayer with the Sign of the Cross.
Many people find it helpful to jot down some thought or sentiment from their prayer. Later in the day, you can refer to this note and allow it to encourage you that God is always near and working in and through you.
Faithfulness in Prayer
Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta said that God does not require us to be successful but rather faithful. This can apply to prayer. Prayer is an act of love of God, and true love does not depend upon the excitement of our feelings. If we approach prayer primarily as our opportunity to show our love for God, we will be less concerned about how well we feel at a given moment. A parent is pleased with the child’s efforts to communicate, even if the words are unintelligible. In the same way, God is pleased with our efforts and our commitment to pray. Even though we should not focus on what we can get out of prayer, we can take great comfort in the fact that God is faithful in His love for us. As we come to Him in prayer, He will work in our hearts and minds. Often the changes in us are gradual, and we may not be able to immediately perceive them. Yet, when we view our lives over time, we will see the changes that God has effected through faithfulness in prayer.
Say your Prayers
“Mental prayer is nothing but a friendly conversation in which the soul speaks, heart to heart, with the One who we know loves us.”
— St. Teresa of Ávila
“Prayer is not a number of reflections and resolutions; it is personal, intimate, loving contact and [conversation] with a friend who is loved and by whom the soul understands that it itself is loved.”
— Robert Nash, S.J.
“[Prayer] is commonly held to be a conversation. In a conversation there are always an ‘I’ and a ‘thou’ or ‘you.’ In this case the ‘Thou’ is with a capital ‘T.’ If at the first the ‘I’ seems to be the most important element in prayer, prayer teaches that the situation is different. The ‘Thou’ is more important, because our prayer begins with God.”
— Pope St. John Paul II
“Prayer
