talk them through their error, teach them what to do instead, and work to heal their hurts and rebuild our relationship, we are practicing true mercy and showing our children they still have worth in God’s eyes and our eyes, even when they mess up.
Bury the Dead: Helping a child deal with sad transitions in life, whether due to the loss of a pet or favorite relative or other events that can turn family life upside down, requires incredible compassion and sensitivity, especially when we are dealing with our own grief. Doing this well enables our children to connect with God’s loving presence even in times of sadness.
The Spiritual Works of Mommy and Daddy
Of course, there are spiritual works of mommy and daddy, too. There isn’t room to address these in this book, but viewed through the lens of the little way of family life, it should be obvious that there are ample opportunities to admonish wrongdoing, instruct each other in the right things to do, help each other work through doubts, comfort each other in times of sadness, bear wrongs patiently, forgive willingly, and pray for one another.
Saint-Making Machines
Clearly, our homes can become saint-making machines if we simply realize the transforming, spiritual power that exists behind even the most mundane tasks of family life. We can use the corporal works of mommy and daddy to cooperate with God’s plan to make us and our children into the saints we were created to be!
God has incredible plans for your family! May those plans unfold in your home as you explore all of the ways the corporal works of mommy and daddy can help you experience the family life God wants for you!
Chapter Two
Feed the Hungry
So Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” So they said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger.”
John 6:32-35
Feeding your family can seem like the height of drudgery. As one mom we know jokingly put it: “They want to eat … again? I just fed them yesterday!”
At first blush it can be hard to imagine that feeding your family could possibly be a spiritual exercise, but when you really think about it, it is hard to imagine an activity that bears more fruit than having regular family meals. God himself models the importance of family mealtime. He takes time out of the busiest schedule in the universe to sit down each day with his children at the family meal that is the Eucharist. The Eucharist is a profound sign that food feeds not only the body but the soul as well.
Ongoing research asserts that the simple ritual of regular family mealtimes is directly connected to happier marriage and family lives, increased physical and mental well-being for parents and children, better academic performance for students, and better behavior for both children and adolescents.
If family life is, as the Church asserts, a school of humanity, the family table is the place that the majority of those lessons are taught. The corporal work of mercy exhorting us to feed the hungry reminds us that family mealtimes don’t just feed our bellies. Like the Eucharist, they feed our souls as well.
Family meals are a great opportunity to grow in holiness. St. Catherine of Siena was known throughout the world for her wisdom, courage, and holy visions, but the thing that impressed St. Francis de Sales most about her was how she used the simple tasks of everyday life to grow closer to God. When she made dinner, she used to imagine cooking for Jesus. When she brought the food to the table, she would imagine that she was serving the apostles. This simple meditation enabled St. Catherine to turn feeding the hungry people in her house into a spiritual exercise, and the holiness and wisdom she gained from performing these simple acts with great love, in part, led to her being honored as a Doctor of the Church. In fact, St. Francis de Sales asserted that it was the holiness with which she attended to these tasks that prepared her to enter into the deeper mystical experiences for which she became famous. Her willingness to find the sacred in the mundane enabled her to encounter the sacred face-to-face.
Here are some ways you can begin to walk the little way of family life by practicing feed the hungry as a corporal work of mommy and daddy.
1. Ask Yourself: Who Is This For?
Take a page from St Catherine of Siena’s book and ask yourself, “For whom am I doing this?” Imagine that you are preparing meals for the Lord and serving his apostles at table. That doesn’t mean that you have to put on spiritual airs or speak any differently with your spouse and kids than you normally would. It just means realizing that “whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me” (Mt 25:40) and giving this simple task of meal preparation the attention it deserves.
2. Cooking with the Saints
When you’re making a meal, especially if you’re trying a new recipe and worried about getting it right (or how it might be received), take a moment to ask the saints to cook with you! We like to ask for the Blessed Mother’s intercession especially: “Blessed Mother, help us to prepare a meal worthy of your family. Ask Our Lord to let this food be good, nourishing, and enjoyable, and an opportunity for us to draw closer to God and each other.” By all means, use your own words. Regardless of what you pray or what saint’s intercession you invoke, such a simple prayer can help you connect deeper spiritual meaning with each meal you make!
3. Pray a Meaningful Grace Before Meals
A recent survey by CARA (the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate) shows that only 13 percent of Catholic families consistently say grace before meals, yet this is one of the easiest ways to begin cultivating a habit for family prayer. The most common form of grace before meals is “Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty, through Christ Our Lord. Amen.” Saying this simple prayer thoughtfully can fill your mealtimes with meaning.
But don’t stop there! Take a moment in prayer together to recount the blessings of the day and lift up any special concerns. Ultimately, prayer should draw your family closer to God and one another. Prayer is ultimately about intimacy — learning about each other’s joys, concerns, and aspirations, and then bringing those things to God so that he might bless, comfort, and counsel you. Make the most of mealtimes so that they feed your souls as well as your bellies!
4. Don’t Just Eat, Talk!
Part of making mealtimes a sacred space is making sure to use these times to share a little bit about your lives. Don’t accept “I don’t know” and “Nothing” as answers to “What did you do today?” These phrases are a strategy kids use to see if you really care to know. Push back a little by asking specific questions: “I know you were struggling with long division in math yesterday. How’d that go in class today?” “You said you were getting together with the team to do drills today. What happened?” Specific questions mean, “I care enough to know what to ask.”
Make conversation possible by turning off the television and putting away smartphones and other devices. Even in those instances where “family dinner” is a quick burger in the car between games, turn off the radio, put away the smartphones, say grace, and talk to each other! It is your presence, and your willingness to invite God to your meal, that makes the moment
