no
When she’s sad or upset, I feel bad and want to
help in any way I can.
yes no
true friend test
I can make a total fool of myself, and she
won’t cut me down for it.
yes no
I would stand up for her, and I know she’d do
the same for me.
yes no
We can sit and work on a project or watch TV and
not say a word—it never feels awkward.
yes no
answer:
The girl who inspires you to say yes to these statements is a friend
through and through. Hold on to her.
And the others? Well, it’s the rare friendship that’s absolutely perfect.
But answering no many times is not a good sign. Just because you’ve
been friends with a girl for a long time or because you spend a lot
of time together doesn’t mean a friendship is true-blue.
Friendship File
Lydia
Lydia is short, spunky, and creative. She used
to hang out with four or five other girls at
school, and while she wasn’t the most popular
girl, she wasn’t at the bottom of the heap,
either. Lydia loved to speak her mind (which
sometimes got her into trouble), but she also
loved to help people. She figured her friends
felt the same way, so when tragedy struck,
she turned to them.
What happened
Lydia’s brother, Randy, injured his spine diving into shallow water at
a lake. He lost the use of his legs and had to learn to use a wheelchair.
Randy was two years older, and a big brother Lydia loved and admired.
His accident hit her hard—really hard.
Lydia felt so sad and scared that she hardly knew what to do. Sometimes
she shared these feelings with her parents, but she knew that they were
hurting, too. She didn’t want to add to their worries. So she carried her
grief to school and talked with her friends. Sometimes they listened,
but they didn’t say much. Lydia could see that her friends felt awkward.
It was like they just didn’t get it. After a while, she stopped talking about
her brother and pretended that everything was fine.
But it wasn’t fine. Lydia needed to feel close
to someone. She got clingy. She would try
to be involved in every conversation that
took place, be a part of everything that
was going on. She remembers, “I was totally
hyper—I was terrified of being left out!”
But that’s just what happened. Annoyed by
Lydia’s neediness, the other girls kicked her
out of the group. They even wrote a long
list of “annoying things about Lydia” and
gave it to her. So just when she thought
the situation couldn’t get any worse, it did.
What she did
Lydia was heartbroken. She spent more time at home, holding tight
to her family. She cried a lot. When she became, as she says, “mad as
all get-out,” she’d write songs and play them on the piano or the violin.
Music really helped.
After a few weeks, Lydia struck up a conversation with a girl named
Grace. Grace sat in the back of the classroom and kept mostly to her-
self. Lydia had hardly noticed her before. Now the two hit it off and
started to hang out together. Before long they were inseparable. Lydia
remembers, “Grace never got tired of me.” Lydia joked that Grace was
an “angel” sent to help. And Grace did help. She stuck it out with Lydia
during that whole awful time. When Lydia ranted and raved about
people who weren’t handicapped and who parked in the handicapped
spots, Grace listened. And when Lydia could do nothing but cry as she
watched her brother struggle, Grace was there. One day when Grace
knew Lydia was feeling really down, she showed up with two pink roses,
just to say she cared.
How it worked out
As Lydia’s family adjusted and accepted their new challenges, Lydia’s life
grew more stable. Today, Grace remains one of Lydia’s best friends. The
old group? Well, they eventually started being nice to Lydia again. She
gets along with them, but it will never be the same. She looks back now
and says, “They’re not bad people. They just had no idea what the true
meaning of friendship is, and I guess I didn’t, either.” But she does now.
She
