who seek to identify new ways forward. To find out more, to connect with us or to explore further creative methods for generating sustainable behavioural change in your clients and their businesses, please contact Veronica Munro at [email protected] and at www.veronicamunro.com or Richard Haggerty at [email protected] and at www.richardhaggerty.co.uk
CHAPTER 2
TAKE THE PLUNGE AND DIVE DEEPER USING TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Shirley Attenborough
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a tool that provides a rich and stimulating explanation of our social relationships and why we behave the way we do. It suggests that aspects of our personality are formed in early childhood. Once we are aware of this, we can work towards adapting our behaviour to have more successful interactions.
Covered in this chapter
• A roadmap to help understand the default ways we communicate with others, and likely consequences
• The different Ego States and the behaviours associated with each
• Explanation of the tools that can be useful in changing behaviour
• Case studies providing examples of how the above are achieved
INTRODUCING THE TOOLS
Transactional Analysis (TA) is a simple, empowering way to assist clients to step out of their comfort zone, and to explore the way they interact, transact, and communicate. The tool supports clients to take the plunge, breathe deeply and understand what is going on deep inside themselves. TA also assists us to become more aware about the way we communicate as coaches. It can support us to decide how to behave differently in order to get a more successful result.
TA facilitates easy and immediate reflection, as well as enabling us to step back and see issues from different perspectives. It provides valuable feedback about our interactions, allows us to reflect both during and after a coaching session, and enables us to try out different ways of communicating in a safe environment.
This chapter provides structural and functional diagrams to support your understanding, together with a variety of case studies to demonstrate how the theory plays out in practice, and how easily and simply it can be applied.
For those who want a concrete definition, the one provided by the dictionary (dictionary.com) is clearest:
a system of popular psychology based on the idea that one’s behaviour and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational) and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life.
Playing games: background to TA
Eric Berne, the founder of TA, wrote Games People Play (1964), which became a bestseller and, since its publication, has sold more than five million copies, and put TA firmly on the transformation map. Berne, a psychiatrist, developed TA for therapeutic and counselling settings, and subsequently it is being used in organisations. He described TA as a system of psychology to understand, predict, and change behaviour.
As a psychiatrist, Berne came from the premise that people need fixing. In coaching, we operate from the presupposition that people are whole and do not need fixing, and are able to work out what they need for themselves. The TA model has been adapted to fit the coaching model so it works in organisations.
We start with a description of the Ego States Model, followed by the Life Position / OK Corral model. We will discover how we can use these two models together to support clients to understand their behaviour, and to explore ways of changing these, if they want to. TA at its fullest is a complex and demanding topic. This chapter is an introduction to TA that works in harmony with many different coaching approaches.
To begin, we need to get a clear picture of the structure and function of this theoretical model. (All diagrams within this chapter are commonly used to describe and explain Eric Berne’s work and, latterly, Ernst’s OK Corral.)
BASIC FUNCTION OF THE EGO STATES MODEL
Figure 2.1: The Ego States Model
The first circle represents the Parent Ego State. The second circle represents the Integrated Adult Ego State. The third circle represents the Child Ego State.
Throughout this chapter it is important to remember to avoid confusing the Parent, Adult, and Child Ego States with being an ‘actual’ parent, adult or child. The Ego States are labels to help us identify and give a name to how we are behaving at a particular moment!
It is also important to note that engaging with the conscious mind is the beginning of our journey within. TA is particularly effective when working with people because it gives them a way to reflect on automatic behaviours, patterns and emotions without feeling defensive, vulnerable or challenged – to the extent that they can gain insight through their own observations.
When you start a session with a client, draw the above six circles on a piece of paper and label them, ready for discussion.
CASE STUDY 1: NOT ‘SHOWING UP’ IN MEETINGS
A successful banker was being considered for promotion. He had been informed by his boss and the review panel that he needed to ‘show up’ more in meetings, especially virtual meetings across different regions. I asked my client what this meant. He explained that he had no problem sharing his views with peers in the office, but he was uncomfortable when he thought he might be upsetting or ruffling the feathers of senior colleagues or colleagues he didn’t know well. My client thought it was important to be liked by people. I asked if he would like to explore this in more depth, and he agreed. We both drew the model, and the conversation developed as below.
I asked, How do you identify with the different Ego States? After a pause, he described situations when young; he was not expected to speak, comment or have an opinion in front of his elders, or those considered more important than him. My client recognised that in some situations he was still behaving this way. He was clearly surprised, and quite reflective. He commented that this had to change as it was preventing him from reaching his full potential. We talked about this, and I asked: What does change mean to you?
He spent a long time working his way around the model. He identified that there were many times at work when he was communicating from the Adult Ego State, and other times when he was operating from the Child Ego State.
We spent time exploring what he wanted to do differently, what needed to happen to help him, and how he was going to manage himself when he was with certain people. He felt that some of his behaviour was so ingrained from his childhood that it was going to take time and practice. He noted that colleagues around him from similar backgrounds had adopted the Parent Ego State. This was something he was keen to avoid, and he felt that his new self-awareness was a start in moving into the Integrated Adult Ego State. The goal of TA is to assist people in communicating Adult to Adult.
Berne
