can invent a tale to be a hoaxsterand who can never keep a confidence,125
he's dark! Romans, maintain your vigilance
with him! When dining you will often find
three couches where twelve people have reclined
and in that group there is a single guest
who always loves to piss upon the rest—130
except the host who waters down the wine—
though later he'll stop being so benign
once he is properly intoxicated
and all his private thoughts are liberated
by Liber, god of truth and liberties.135
You, who “despise” blackhearted men as these,
yet still consider them kind, frank and witty,
do I appear intemperate or snitty
to you because I have been laughing, since
“refined Rufillus always reeks of mints;140
Gargonius of goat”? So if you'd heard
some mention of corruption that occurred
involving someone called Petillius
Capitolinus, you would shill, as this
is what your habit is.
“He's been a friend145
and colleague since our childhood. He would lend
a hand when asked, and I am pleased to see
he's living in the city problem-free,
although, however, I am mystified
that he could beat the rap when he was tried.”150
This is pure bile, the octopus' ink;
I'll ban this vice from all I write and think,
and if, as in the past, I can declare
one thing about myself, it's this I swear:
if I am blunt, or overridicule,155
you should apply to me a lenient rule.
The best of fathers would ingrain in me
the need to label immorality
with actual examples. When he tried
to teach me cheapness (being satisfied160
with what he was providing me), he'd say,
“See how young Albius has thrown away
his life, and Baius knows financial woe?
A fine example why one mustn't blow
one's patrimony!”
To excoriate165
those slobbering for whores:
“Don't imitate
Scetanus!”
To discourage hot pursuit
of married women who are dissolute
though these affairs are thought legitimate:
“Trebonius was found while doing it;170
his name's not good.”
He'd say, “One who is wise
will always be inclined to theorize
about what's best to seek and to reject.
For me it is enough if I protect
the standards your forefathers have maintained175
and if I keep your name and life unstained
while you still need me to remain on guard.
Once time has made your mind and limbs more hard,
you'll swim unaided.”
As a boy, he'd mold
me with remarks like these, and if he told180
me to begin some kind of undertaking:
“There are good reasons for the choice you're making”
(as he exposed some person singled out
for his assessment).
To create some doubt:
“Whenever so-and-so is under fire185
from adverse reports, must you inquire any further as to if this deed produces shame and nothing that you need?”
Just as a neighbor's death will terrify
a housebound glutton who, afraid to die,190
determines that he must improve his ways,
a young and fragile spirit often stays
away from vice when others speak their minds.
From this experience, I lack the kinds
of character deficiencies that cause195
disasters (though I'm stuck with smaller flaws
you should forgive).
Perhaps I'll be set free
to some extent by more maturity,
a candid friend or personal reflection
for I do not need more introspection200
while on my couch or at the colonnade:
“This is more just.”
“If this decision's made, I'll lead a better life.”
“This choice will go down well with friends.”
“This move by so-and-so was unattractive.”
“Would I ever make205
this kind of unintentional mistake?”
These are the ideas that I bat around
with my lips sealed. When leisure time is found,
I play with paper for a little fun.
Of the small faults I mentioned, this is one,210
and
