The Hard Stuff 119
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CHAPTER 5 // The Future Awaits 125
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PREFACE
The world is full of bad dating advice and conventional wisdom. Well, no more! Dating Hacks Handbook is the 21st century gender-neutral dating bible you’ve always wanted. Forget boring advice like what you should wear and when to pop the question, we’re giving you the most practical solutions to all the weird and typical questions you’ve ever had about dating. Stuff like: Where should we go on a date? How often should I mention my cats on my OkCupid profile? When do I bring up my handcuff fetish?
To all these questions and more, we’ve come up with easy, not-awk-ward ways to make dating smooth sailing for everyone involved. And for the possibly dangerous, intimate side of dating—we’ve got plenty of advice for when you hit a tough spot.
We can’t promise you’ll find that eternal soul mate, but we can as-sure a few romantic evenings and plenty of stories to tell to the homeless man on the subway.
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CHAPTER 1 //
Looking for Lovin’
Looking for Lovin’ //
Should I Date?
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It’s easy to look out into the world and envy swarms of couples, both real and fictional, who parade around smiling and laughing and feeling superior to singletons. But are you actually ready for that kind of responsibility?
Like a tower of shaky Jenga pieces, your potential relationship will only be as strong as you and whomever you choose to share your life.
Ready for a Relationship?
Do you have time?
There are only 24 hours in a day. Maybe you work, or study, or both. Then you have to give your dog a bath, give your-self a bath (maybe simultaneously to save time), and make dinner. Oh, hi laundry. Your best friend is in a slump and wants to talk for 3 hours. The new season of The Walking Dead is piling up on your DVR. Can you fit another human being into that schedule? No one knows, really.
Do you care?
Human beings have needs. They like to be hugged, eat piz-za, and leave the house once in a while. Sometimes they need other people to do those things. Do you have the en-ergy to wonder if your potential partner is happy? Are you even going to remember to ask?
Can you compromise?
In a relationship, you’re trying to combine your life and val-ues with your partner’s. This can feel like slamming two round pegs into one square hole at the same time, and sometimes the pegs are made of tears, and it’s really hard to work with those.
Can you communicate?
This goes hand-in-hand with caring. Are you able to articu-late why you’re happy or not happy? Are you able to listen patiently when your partner does the same? Can you do
Should I Date?
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both of those things without yelling? Do you have a desire to hit people when they disagree with you? Are human beings irritating and confusing to you?
Where are you going?
You can’t always predict where life is taking you, but if you think you’re going to make a big change in your life soon—less than a few months—then reconsider jumping into some-thing serious.
Who to Date?
If you’ve decided that you can possibly include someone new in your life, then what kind of person do you want to date?
It’s not a great idea to keep a set list of arbitrary deal break-ers in your head. These can range from standards for physi-cal appearance to education to economic status. All of these can be pretty snobby and limiting parameters to set for your-self – and could keep you away from someone worthwhile.
But it is a good idea to reflect on what kind of relationship would make you happy. Short-term? Long-term? Monoga-mous? Do you want to have long conversations about books? Do you want someone who enjoys the outdoors? Are you re-ligious?
Think
