put the brain on the platter and he did the same with the lamb.
He told her that tomorrow they could have scrambled eggs
and brains for breakfast and he said it with obvious delight.
She talked to her mother about her feelings and her mother
told her what a good sheep-man her father was and how
lucky they were to have such a good life during the depression.
At breakfast next morning the twelve year old Joneva could not
identify with the hearty appetite of her parents and siblings.
And she was being weaned again and through her life.
Traumas can either break us or make us stronger teacher-healers.
I.2.4 In the First Deceptive Weaning
Although Grandpa Coates’ family pioneered with the Mormons
they were not practicing Latter Day Saints and as “Jack Mormons”
with a completely secular attitude they loved drinking and good times
and would not enter the church except for the occasional funeral.
The parents agreed that the two girls would be raised Episcopalian
and the boys raised Mormon but mother was the only one with
any religious inclinations and she often went to the Mormon church
and primary school with her school friends and she liked to pray.
She greatly admired the healthy family life of her Mormon friends.
For Christmas Aunt Sadie gave the thirteen-year-old Joneva
a golden necklace chain with a beautiful golden cross and
she loved it so much she could hardly wait to wear it to school.
But one of the Mormon boys whom she admired asked her
“What kind of charm is that?” And she felt embarrassed.
And though the cross of the Good Shepherd was dear to her she
wore it to school no more and though she loved and admired
her Mormon friends she would not let them know that she
wore it at home and she prayed for them when she took it off.
And she began to hide many of her thoughts and to reflect on deceit.
Her mother got along well with the Mormons and they
admired her for she had winning and weaning ways
as she taught mother to be open to all and offensive to none.
And de Silentio wrote: “When the child is to be weaned, the
mother blackens her breast. It would be hard to have the breast
look inviting when the child must not have it. So the child
believes that the breast has changed, but the mother—she is still
the same, her gaze is tender and loving as ever. How fortunate
the one who did not need more terrible means to wean the child.”
Her father thought it was only a black sheep and she should not fret.
The boy thought it was some evil, magical charm and she
became weaned by loving them with acting beyond deceit.
I.2.5 In the Third Weaning of Mutual Mourning
Mother loved her four years at Carey High School from the time
she was fourteen until eighteen and the Mormon atmosphere
suited her well as it fostered a sense of vocation-mission-destiny.
Some of her friends were already talking about going to college and
going on a mission to teach others that our Heavenly Father loves us.
Mother was especially impressed with the good Mormons in that
they did not drink or smoke or swear and in fact they did not
even drink coffee or tea and she could easily appreciate that.
When she visited her cousins Nelson, Burl and Frieda over
at her Uncle Chuck’s and Aunt Omas’ she loved them dearly.
Uncle Chuck was very funny, loveable and always joking
but sometimes he did drink a bottle of beer and go across the street
to the pool hall where some of his friends were just a bit rowdy.
Her father would also drink with his friends and even though
he was a very hard working and productive man mother asked
her mother about such activity and they both saw dark horizons.
They went into the Great Depression that swept the country and
even though farmers were fairly self-sufficient and they now
had their farm the banking system was failing and the sheep business
shut down and mother and her mother felt that an idle mind
is the devil’s workshop and alcoholism began to make them anxious.
And de Silentio wrote: “When the child is weaned the mother, too,
is not without sorrow because she and the child are more and more
to be separated, because the child who first lay under her heart
and later rested upon her breast will never again be so close.
So they grieve together the brief sorrow. How fortunate the one
who kept the child so close and did not need to grieve anymore.”
The weaning process is a kind of mourning process and the loss
of his mother when he was only five left Levaur Coates
with a lack of inner security that needed the boost
of alcohol and the warm camaraderie that it deceitfully fostered.
I.2.6 In the Fourth Weaning of Providing Sustenance
In
