but now and then she had to contend with very trying conditions. It could happen that she would suddenly begin to scream loudly wherever she might be, whether in the chapel, the convent, or anywhere else. She then lost control of herself and it seemed as if a higher power took over.”24 She calmed down only when she was commanded in holy obedience to stop.
As might be expected, this conduct brought various reactions among her sister companions. Some thought she was a saint, specially tried by God; others “considered her an actor who wanted to create a sensation.” Was she hysterical, or merely adept at getting her own way? The answer will probably never be known, since no mention is made in anything written later about her. The record goes on to say that, in spite of the screaming, Sister Bernardine was so conscientious and faithful in her duties that her superior regarded her highly, and was inclined to believe in “supernatural influence” as the cause of her malady.
Evidently this unusual behavior was known to some of the monks from Engelberg, because Father Frowin Conrad, by then prior of the community at Conception, expressed his concern when he learned that Sister Bernardine was being considered for the Missouri mission. Father Adelhelm wrote to Mother Gertrude Leupi, superior at Maria Rickenbach, from his mission in Maryville, saying that when he talked to Prior Frowin about the three people who were coming, “This time his only objection was, ‘But what if Sister Bernardine starts screaming once more as she did (in Maria Rickenbach)? What should we do?’”25
Father Adelhelm, in his usual sanguine manner, saw no problem. He said the Lord would take care of things and see that no scandal would result. “I have the impression however that Sister has overcome the time in her life where she has to scream, and now starts another period.” Later on in the same letter Father Adelhelm noted that in case Father Frowin was hesitant about receiving Sister Bernardine at Conception, he would not hesitate to accept her at Maryville, noting “This is a town of Freemasons and big sinners, and she could atone there and do penance for them. This should only tell you and Father Abbot that you need not refrain from sending her.”26
It would be interesting to know if either Frowin or Adelhelm had actually met Sister Bernardine in Switzerland. Although Engelberg and Maria Rickenbach are only a short distance apart, it is quite possible that neither of the monks had actually seen the sister in question. How did Frowin know about the unusual behavior of this otherwise capable and respected sister? Since she had been sent to Sarnen by the abbot of Engelberg, she must have had a reputation as a teacher which extended beyond the walls of her own convent. What induced Adelhelm to come to her defense and to volunteer to take her on at Maryville if Frowin did not want her at Conception? No firm evidence has been found in answer to these intriguing questions.
Equally intriguing is the nature of Sister Bernardine’s affliction. Were the screaming spells a temporary nervous disorder brought on by the pressures of the novitiate, of becoming accustomed to life among strangers in another country, in what must have been a confined physical environment on the mountainside? Was the prayer life, with its emphasis on perpetual adoration, too cloistered for a lively, intelligent girl with a better than average education? Was she too young and inadequately prepared to take on the teaching assignment in the convent boarding school? Did her capabilities arouse jealousy among the other sisters and bring on tensions that resulted in a form of hysteria? Again, these are questions that remain unanswered because the evidence is lacking. The pious explanation was that this was an affliction sent by God to try His specially chosen soul. From the terse account given in the annals of Maria Rickenbach, not every sister shared that opinion.
Another possible explanation might be that Sister Bernardine was an intelligent and capable young woman who had experienced an education and degree of freedom unusual in her time and place. She had developed a head of her own, and was capable of decisive action. This is apparent from the account of her decision to enter the convent in Switzerland over her mother’s objections. In later events, she was to show a determination and stubborn resistance to decisions which she was convinced were not wise for her. To find herself in an environment, albeit one she had chosen for herself, in which important decisions about her life and work were made by others (even by people outside her convent, as in the case of Abbot Anselm), might have brought on her screaming spells as the only way to vent the frustration that must have been present at times. The childlike docility which she was said to have displayed in the novitiate might indeed have been too unnatural and unhealthy, with the hysteria as a natural reaction. Again, it is impossible to know for sure.
Apparently, Father Adelhelm was right when he surmised that that stage of her life was over, for no mention is made of it after the arrival of Mother Bernardine in the United States. There were other complaints about her, including personality conflicts about which superiors back in Europe were informed. Some of the letters were frank in their criticisms of both Sister Bernardine and Father Adelhelm. It seems fairly certain that, if hysterical outbursts had occurred at Maryville or Conception, this information would have been included in the letters written by her critics.
Whatever the reasons, Father Adelhelm had confidence in Sister Bernardine from the start, and trusted in her ability to cope with whatever demands missionary life in a new land might make. Those demands would eventually carry both of them beyond Missouri, even to the Far West.
2 • The Move to Missouri
It is necessary here to return to Switzerland in 1876. For Sister Bernardine Wachter this was a crucial year, bringing with it an overseas journey and a definitely external life. Curiously enough, one of the stated reasons for her leaving her native Germany for a Swiss convent was to be able to participate in perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in a convent devoted primarily to that apostolate. As the reader is already aware, Sister Bernardine was asked to leave that convent at Maria Rickenbach, and spent some time (how long is not known) at a neighboring convent school in Sarnen. Whether this experience influenced her or what motivated the desire to leave Europe for mission fields and primitive conditions remains a mystery.
According to the necrology, Sister Bernardine volunteered for work in America,1 answering a call for help from the Engelberg monks who had left for Missouri in 1873. How much discussion went on in the convent, how many volunteers presented themselves, and how the final selection was made one can only guess. In a letter written from Maryville on February 21, 1876, Father Adelhelm Odermatt told Mother Gertrude Leupi, superior of Maria Rickenbach, “I was highly surprised to read in your letter that no Sisters wanted to come to us.” He added that he went to Conception to talk this over with Father Frowin Conrad, who wanted at least three sisters “from home.”2
Three sisters from home were not forthcoming, and whether this was for lack of volunteers or reluctance of the young community at Maria Rickenbach to part with more members is unknown. Instead, two sisters, Scholastica von Matt and Bernardine Wachter, along with the young recruit Anna Jann, comprised the second group to leave for Missouri. Were these two the only sisters to volunteer? What role did Abbot Anselm Villiger of Engelberg play in the final selection? The pious prose of Sister Bernardine’s necrology says,
“. . . although her superiors did not like to lose her they gave their consent to her departure.” Abbot Anselm was well aware that it takes generous souls for foundations of religious houses, and that it was of supreme importance to send capable sisters, well grounded in the spirit of their Institute, in order to make the new colonies a success.3
It would be interesting to know how other members of the community at Maria Rickenbach reacted to the choice of Sisters Bernardine and Scholastica for the American missions. Apparently, the time and resources of the community were taxed to outfit the emigrants. On April 5, the superior of the little group at Conception wrote to the Swiss motherhouse, “Last night I received a letter from our Most Rev. Spiritual Father, (Anselm Villiger) asking me to tell you what the Sisters should be provided with and what they should bring with them. In the line of clothing, let them bring whatever their poverty permits, especially good high shoes, some strong material for mending habits and stockings.
