A Tree Rooted in Faith. Alberta Dieker
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Others may have had doubts about Sister Bernardine’s fitness for missionary life, but she was convinced that she belonged in America and that the journey should be made at any cost. How determined Sister Bernardine was in her resolution is well shown by the following incident. On the day appointed for their departure she was unable to rise in the morning, and was suffering severe pains (Seitenstecken). The sisters thought she should desist from undertaking the journey, arguing that it was plainly God’s will that she should remain in the motherhouse. Another sister volunteered to go in her place. But Father Abbot insisted that Sister Mary Bernardine go to her destined mission, and she simply said, “He who calls me to serve Him in the New World will also give me strength for the journey.”5 With this kind of confidence, Sister Bernardine got up and was on her way to the seaport at Havre with her companions that very afternoon of June 5.
Accompanying the sisters were recruits for the monastery at Conception. Mention is made of Peter Villiger, Anton Dillier, and young men referred to only as Huber, Odermatt, and Clemens. Apparently all were candidates either for the priesthood or the lay brotherhood. Judging from Sister Scholastica’s account, they were all young and lively, and enjoyed the excitement of the trip.6
From the port at Havre, Sister Bernardine sent two letters back to Switzerland, one to Abbot Anselm and one to Mother Gertrude. The train ride itself took two days. Apparently they sat up, because they arrived sleepy and rumpled. There was a problem getting to their luggage in Havre, so they still had to go about in dirty clothes. Being tired, they slept until six on the morning of June 9, then went to a church where they attended two Masses. In the afternoon they found a German church, where the friendly pastor recited the rosary with them, and exhorted them with good words for their journey.
On the morning of June 10, the Swiss party boarded the Labrador, described as one of the fastest and most beautiful ocean-going vessels of its day, 305 meters long and 42 wide, with two huge stacks. Sister Bernardine noted that they were traveling second class, so they had portholes in their cabin. Third class, she noted, “is too far below and leaves much to be desired.” Other details of the journey have been preserved by Sister Scholastica, who began a letter to Mother Gertrude on board ship and mailed it from New York.
Many of the passengers became seasick early in the voyage. “Without having experienced it, one cannot imagine how slack and depressed, unwilling and incapable of doing anything one feels in this condition. Peter Villiger felt so miserable that he wished to die. Sister Bernardine had to lie down at once and got as weak as if her life had come to its end. She also suffered from much pain in her side.”7
By June 18, a week into the voyage, everyone was up and around, and Sister Bernardine was able to take her meals at the common table. With an eye for detail, Sister Scholastica described the meals: for breakfast, coffee with milk, or soup; second breakfast was served at nine; dinner at four in the afternoon included two kinds of meat and fish, with vegetables and dessert. Water and wine were always available. “Butter is always on the table; they say it is strongly salted. I cannot even look at it. Is it not strange—to have the finest dishes before you, and you have to force yourself to eat?” A cup of boullion was served at noon, and tea at nine in the evening.
Sister Scholastica wondered what some of the shyer members of the community at Maria Rickenbach would do “if they in our stead had to sit at table with all these gentlemen.” She noted that her place was beside a very attentive Frenchman who called her Madame. Opposite her was another Frenchman who “keeps talking quietly and politely with two officers.” She mentioned an elderly man who directed an institute for homeless boys in Milan, and spoke Italian. Anna Jann sat on the other side of Sister Scholastica with Peter Villiger beside her. After Sister Bernardine recovered from seasickness, they arranged a place opposite Peter for her. The meals were enjoyable for Sister Scholastica, for she mentioned laughing heartily at the captain (who talked in Swiss dialect to the French waiters) and at the stories told by Huber and Odermatt.
Apparently, Sister Scholastica’s shipboard behavior did not meet with Sister Bernardine’s approval. In a letter written from America on July 17 to her Spiritual Father (evidently Abbot Anselm) the former noted, “I also suffer much from natural antipathy to Sister Bernardine, as she was a little too rigorous with us during the voyage. If I am made to do something against my better insight, out of constraint, it is only forced upon me and repels me. One must not always do or say what is strictly ascetic; not even a religious. The people outside also like rather to find a joyful face and an obliging manner in us.” She went on to say that she had no trouble getting along with the other sisters, and did not know why she had the difficulties with Sister Bernardine, “though I know her noble intention for which I esteem her highly.”8
Sister Bernardine also wrote back to Maria Rickenbach about their ocean voyage. She mentioned nothing about the behavior of her companions, nor of her own seasickness. Her description of a beautiful day on the ocean reveals a sensitivity to natural beauty that is noteworthy:
I had the greatest joy on the Feast of the Holy Cross (June _) at sunset. For several days we had had stormy weather. Towards evening on that day, it suddenly cleared up, and once again one could see the immense sheet of water, and one felt fresh and newly animated at the view of the blue sea under the warm light of the sun. While we were having our evening recreation on deck, an Italian sculptor came and called to our attention that the sun was setting on the other side. The ball of the sun appeared to be floating about one foot over the surface of the sea, and one could look at it without being blinded. Could the passengers have walked on the water like St. Peter, I think everyone would have rushed over, not to let it sink into the depths of the sea. Even when the sun seemingly dipped into the water, one could not look away until the last glow had vanished. Soon darkness was to cover the ocean. So when the evening sky turned pale, we turned and talked about something else. Then I suddenly observed the silvery mild evening star. Never in all my life did it appear so pleasing to me as this time.9
The tone of the two sisters’ letters is completely different. Sister Scholastica was enjoying every moment out of the cloister, appreciating the banter and carefree activities of the other passengers, delighting in the food and service, undoubtedly better than convent fare. Sister Bernardine spent the early part of the voyage in bed. This is not surprising, since she was sick before she left Maria Rickenbach. If she mixed with the other passengers, or enjoyed the food and company, she gave no indication in what remains of her letters. She apparently preferred her own thoughts, and waxed eloquent in her enjoyment of the natural beauty around her.
Were these two sisters aware before the journey of the difference in their natural temperaments? Did their superiors perceive this when they designated the two to go to America together? Whatever the case, the natural antipathy between these strong and determined women would later be intensified in the confined quarters and overworked atmosphere of the Maryville convent, and would be a factor in their separation into different religious communities.
The party from Switzerland arrived at Conception on June 27, 1876. It would be interesting to know the details of their arrival in New York harbor, their problems (if any) on coming through customs, of their trip across the countryside to Missouri. Apparently some of their baggage was lost in transit, and they had to leave New York without it. On July 17, Sister Scholastica wrote to Abbot Anselm, “Yesterday came the information that our small luggage that had been left behind in the New York Depot is being sent by railway. The Sisters thought it was lost. But our Lord accepted my prayer and promise: thanks to Him! My coat, shawl and many small things I need are in it.”10
In the same letter, Sister Scholastica gave some of her first impressions about her