a volunteer, but he or she should have the training to perform at a professional level specific to addressing the needs of caregivers.
Who is in the group? Are you caring for a parent or your spouse, for a child or a friend? The best support group for you, including those offered in the form of limited-time educational groups, will be one that contains at least a few caregivers who share the same relationship you have with the person they are caring for. Better yet, if you are caring for your spouse, find a group that contains only caregivers caring for spouses; if for a parent, a group for adult children caring for their parents; and so on. However, if you cannot find a group that is dedicated in that way, find a group dedicated to family caregivers in general.
After you have participated a few times, did you feel comfortable sharing your emotions and experiences? A true caregiving support group will provide a safe place for you to express grief, anger, guilt, resentment, and frustration—a place where you can interact with other caregivers who are sensitive to emotional and practical issues because they are also caregivers and where you can receive and provide insight and meaningful responses. The group should treat all things said as confidential, and a judgmental attitude has no place in a support group. Whatever you did or are doing is always subject to constructive interaction, but no one can dictate what is right or wrong for you to do!
The Ultimate Solution
Family caregiving is not intuitive, nor do we have access to a system that has figured out family caregiving any better that we as individuals have. We have no “caregiver gene,” and every caregiving situation is unique. Imagine—without the assistance of an experienced family caregiving expert and the support of experienced family caregivers, you and 50 million other caregivers are each reinventing the wheel every day to figure out for yourselves what you need to do. You need more than a list of names and numbers to call or websites to try. You need more than the System saying, essentially, “You figure it out.”
What you need is a plan, and building a plan that works for you is what the rest of this manual is about.
Imagine being the owner of a small business who wants to expand that business successfully. The owner needs to understand costs, benefits, and options; a wise business owner does necessary research and creates a business plan. It is no different for a family caregiver—a wise family caregiver creates a Nonclinical Care Plan (“Plan”).
Making a Plan means preparing for what is happening now and for what may happen in the future, but planning is not always easy. Moreover, most people do not know how to plan or understand the benefits of planning in the context of family caregiving.
An effective plan does the following:
Defines purpose.
Defines real and potential problems, big and small.
Establishes a framework for realistic goals.
Communicates those goals to people who have to make the Plan work.
Brings together everyone to better understand where things are going.
Helps create buy-in and a sense of responsibility.
Develops a clear focus to produce more efficient, effective solutions.
Ensures effective resource use.
Leads to wiser decision-making.
Measures success (and failure) so you can make even better choices next time.
Results in better outcomes and peace-of-mind.
Keys to Successful Planning
Successful planning depends on cooperation and participation by all parties involved in the caregiving process. Discussions can be held over the phone, via email, or by the exchange of traditional letters. You may wish to have a meeting in which all parties come together (a family meeting). Regardless, the following key issues are likely to be of concern:
The guiding purpose of the planning is to maintain the quality-of-life, independence, and dignity of both the family caregiver and the person receiving care. Each goal and stated outcome of the Plan must support that guiding purpose.
a volunteer, but he or she should have the training to perform at a professional level specific to addressing the needs of caregivers.
