and it was a church conference. they
walked back and forth as i leaned against a counter
finally, i had the air lines page,
“party meeting ann kiemel… please
come to united’s information desk…”
this couple did… only five feet away… just watching
me. i smiled shyly, hoping they would respond.
then i became paranoid.
“what is it they don’t like about me? my dress
is long. it has sleeves, the neckline is high, and i’m
not gaudied up in jewelry. i’ve got sandals on,
but…”
suddenly the man, with wrinkled frown, called out,
“do you know ann kiemel?”
i spilled into smiles… “it’s me! i’m ann.”
they didn’t smile. nor offer to carry my bag. they
walked ahead of me in silence, and led me to their
car parked at the far end of the airport. they
crawled in the front seat and closed their doors,
and i sheepishly got in back. nothing was said as we
drove to the hotel. the man again parked far from
the entrance, and neither helped me crawl out or
offered to carry my things. when we got inside,
they pressed the elevator button for the banquet
room, and i became frantic…
“sir, my room! i must change…”
he shrugged his shoulders, so i marched to the desk
and registered myself. and when i turned to go my
eyes caught the wife with another woman, shaking
her head in negative dismay.
when i got to my room, i fell across the bed
and sobbed.
“Jesus, i can’t go down there to that banquet.
they don’t like me. i won’t fit in. i’m going to
be rejected without even being heard. i’m so
scared…”
for a few minutes, i forgot time. i didn’t care. i
could only wail. then i pulled myself up, washed
my face, changed clothes and walked out with a
straight back, my head high, and my eyes very red.
someone there had faith enough to call me to do
this, and God would help me. i walked into the
large banquet room, and was instantly greeted by
warm, charming people with strong handshakes
and wide smiles. i couldn’t even find the couple
who picked me up…
until afterward.
after i had spoken, and God had powerfully
graced the evening, then they decided i was
“okay”… the little wife grabbed me and led
me through the crowd, telling everyone she
and her husband had brought me from the
airport. sighhhhhh.
i have flown next to someone who poured a whole
can of beer in her lap… another who had an awful
case of nausea which made me almost have one
too. people have whisked me into an enormous,
cold auditorium on a stormy night, and i was genuinely
at God’s mercy to bring some warmth and
beauty. in one city, it was over a hundred degrees
outside, 800 people were packed into a high school
auditorium where the air conditioning had failed
and babies screamed and 300 fans waved vigorously.
i wondered if i could possibly communicate
through all that… and i can testify that God has
been absolutely faithful. He’s come through every
time.
it makes me laugh now when i think of youth
camps and summer retreats where i’ve been
dropped off at the “workers’ cabin”… some
workers’ cabins have spiders on the walls and
musty smells, and i’m not a very good “rougher.”
the lovely part is that it takes only a few hours until
everyone belongs, and i feel so much a part, and
rather than the awful loneliness at first, i begin to
feel a kindred spirit, enriched and graced and
mellowed by the earthly goodness of others. and i
find myself going to sleep without being afraid of
bugs.
probably women with homes and husbands and
children forget those parts of traveling and being
“public”… and i forget that with husbands and
children come meals to prepare and laundry to do
and floors to keep scrubbed and noses wiped and
lunches to pack. i think we are both lucky. God has
a creative way of giving the romantic and awe-inspiring
and bright without ignoring the humdrum
and nitty-gritty and sobering.
one
