displayed an eagerness to cooperate, seemed pleasant and playful. It is control nonetheless. Think back to how you felt the last time you were influenced to do something you really didn’t want to do. Did you feel a little conned or manipulated—or maybe a little foolish that you didn’t stick up for what you knew you wanted? You may have been a recipient or you may have used these same techniques to get your own way. Remember that these techniques are a thinly disguised form of control. Whenever we exert control over other people, instead of over ourselves, we run the risk of abusing or damaging the relationship.
We’ve all heard it a million times, and it’s still very true: The only person you can ever change is yourself. While you’ll want to work toward changes in your interpersonal relationships, these changes will occur through skillful communication, not through demands, orders or ultimatums.
The more controlling you are, the harder this lesson will be for you to learn. In fact, you may get sweaty palm just thinking about letting other people take charge of their own affairs, especially if there’s any potential impact on you. But bite your tongue and focus on self-control rather than external control. There’s usually plenty of work we can do on ourselves and, believe it or not, the rest of the world really can take care of itself!
Take a moment to do a quick review of the thoughts you have entertained. Are they happy, constructive, energy-building thoughts? Or are they negative, fearful, self-critical thoughts?
While you have very little control over most of the events that come your way during the day, you have tremendous control over your own thoughts and attitudes. Make a commitment to yourself, right now, to weed out those harmful negative thoughts that hold you back, and make room for the happy, supportive, encouraging thoughts that contribute to being a fulfilled and happy person. It will take determination and persistence.
One place where control is especially useful is in managing your own physical being, acquiring the skills for looking after your basic needs. This includes your health, finances, personal environment, body, attire, transportation and so forth. Taking control over others is potentially destructive. It runs the risk of turning into aggression. But when you apply it to yourself, it becomes SELF-CONTROL and that can be a wonderful strength.
Being in control, at its best, is independence. It is that part of you that follows your own stars, believes in your own dreams, and refuses to listen to people who tell you otherwise. Independence is a fundamental requirement for your personal growth.
When you are able to take care of yourself physically, you are much more likely to believe you can survive, no matter what happens. You develop a great feeling of security that will sustain you when you encounter difficult circumstances.
A Physical Dimension Checklist
Let’s pause for a moment and do a quick checklist of how you are doing?
•Do you live within your means?
•Do you have a savings account for the future?
•Do you exercise regularly?
•Do you eat properly and drink enough water?
•Do you have any unhealthy addictions, such as smoking, alcohol, gambling, food or drugs?
•Do you have reliable transportation?
•Is your home safe and secure?
•Can you provide adequately for your children?
•Do you look and feel your best?
•Do you get adequate sleep each night?
•Do you have health, car, home and life insurance?
Most of these items may seem like common sense to you. But ask yourself if you have taken care of every single one of them.
Whatever age you are, you may benefit from strengthening your control over your physical being.
Your physical being is your home, friend and vehicle while on earth. We depend on it for absolutely everything. Take control and learn more about this precious gift, and discover new ways to take care of your physical self. When you do this you will experience an up-lift in every area of your life—with renewed energy, optimism, courage, serenity and hope.
Nutrition
Make wise choices when nourishing your body. Common sense tells us to avoid fatty foods and sweets, poisons like nicotine or alcohol, and other addictive substances. But beyond these, learn about the specific needs of your own body in terms of food and drink. Each person is slightly different. Perhaps an undiagnosed food allergy is causing mid-afternoon lethargy. Or maybe you need more frequent mini-meals instead of several larger meals during the day. Observe your body by tracking your energy level with a food diary, and see if you can notice any patterns with your diet. Often a minor modification can reap long-term benefits, and you’ll find that your efforts toward good nutrition are rewarded in an improved sense of well-being.
Stepping up to take control
1.Find a new book on nutrition that looks exciting and fun.
2.Eliminate one food that you know is not good for you.
3.Drink eight glasses of the purest possible water a day.
4.Experiment with vitamins and supplements.
5.Learn more about herbal remedies.
6.Visit a naturopath or nutritionist for advice on a better diet.
7.Investigate possible blood sugar or allergy problems.
8.Discover the best time and frequency for meals.
9.Eat all meals this week while sitting down and relaxed.
10.Read a recipe book that inspires you to cook healthier dishes.
11.Pick one nutritional “rut” and check out alternatives this week.
Exercise
Our bodies are meant to be used—walked, danced, run, stretched, enjoyed. The more we exercise the more we become in touch with the wonderful energy within, just waiting for release through movement. Exercise stimulates endorphins, which boost our mood, calm frayed nerves and fill us with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Aerobic exercise (swimming, jogging, tennis, skating, walking, etc.) is good for the heart and lungs. But stretching exercises like yoga and tai chi are important, too, for toning muscles, improving concentration and stimulating new mind-body connections within us.
Stepping up to take control
1.Exercise at least 20 minutes five times this week.
2.Enroll in a class or group.
3.Try a new stretching technique.
4.Experiment with a new sport.
5.Dance—even if it’s alone in the living room to the radio.
6.Choose parking spots that
