to the first one and it turned out to be from Nate: “Hey, just checking on you. Sorry I’ve been so distant, but Aria’s still pissed and doesn’t want me talking to you. Anyway, I hope you told Jensen what happened ‘cause I’m a little uncomfortable carrying around your secret. You know, just like when I told you Jensen had to man up with Alyna, I’m giving you the same advice. See you at school.”
I hit delete and listened to the next recording, which surprisingly turned out to be from Jensen. He sounded sad and maybe a little drunk: “Hi. Just calling to tell you I’m thinking about you. Miss you.” I chose to save that to play again later, but I wasn’t sure why. I guess I just wanted to hear Jensen’s voice no matter how short his message to me was.
The third recording wasn’t a message at all, but a song that had come in early that morning around four a.m. The music was strong and purposeful as piano chords streamed through the little speakers of my answering machine: I believe there’s something deep inside that shouldn’t be from time to time. I sure found out, thought love was such a crime. The more you care, the more you fall. A smile spread across my face as Def Leppard continued to serenade me: Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat. Oooh, I miss you right away. Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat. ‘Cause it ain’t love if it don’t feel that way, oh no.
“Oh, Jensen,” I whispered.
Knowing that I had to speak with him, I picked up the phone and dialed the number to his room, hoping he was home alone and not with Erik or his other so-called friends. After fifteen empty rings I gave up and put the phone back in the cradle. Where is he? What is he doing? My thoughts began to get the best of me. Trying not to think about what party he may be at and if Fallon was there, I wandered into my room and picked up the dust covered Discman I’d borrowed from Jessica for the Phoenix trip. Still inside was the Ace of Base disc that I listened to on the plane, but I wasn’t in the mood for that and went out into the living room to poke around my CD collection where I found the new one from Enigma, The Cross of Changes. That seemed fitting. After putting earbuds in my ear, I pressed play and shut the living room light off before lying down on the couch and pulling the blanket I kept on the back cushion down and over me. Closing my eyes, I got lost in the music.
Waking up after who knows how long, I pulled the earbuds from my sore ears and did my best to check the time on my watch. Once my eyes could focus in the dim light of the room, I saw that it was six thirty Sunday morning. How could I have slept so long? Sitting up, I frowned and carefully stretched my stiff body, putting the Discman and blanket aside before I attempted to stand up and make my way into the kitchen. Even though I wasn’t necessarily hungry, I knew I had to at least eat something and settled for a bowl of cereal. When that and a cup of hot coffee were finished, I ambled off to the bathroom to stand under a long, hot shower.
Standing in front of my closet with towels wrapped around me and my hair, I looked through the closet and picked out a pair of purple Bongo jeans and a simple black turtleneck. I wasn’t going for style that day, just comfort, and with that in mind I pulled the plainest bra and panty I owned out from a clothes drawer. Once everything was in place, I swept my wet hair back and up into a high bun, which sat atop my head and put on just enough make-up to give me some color. A quiet, simple distraction was what I needed, and there was no place better than the Jordan Creek Mall, which really wasn’t a mall at all. Jordan Creek Mall was made up of business offices and a few places employees and customers could get something to eat. If people wanted to go to a shopping mall they went across the street to Nugget Mall. The Jordan Creek Mall was a place where the chance of running into any one I knew was slim to none.
Once I had made it over to the mall, I parked and went inside, walking over to where the atrium was located with more than a few empty tables with benches. I sat down at the closest one to me looked up at a large panes of glass hovered overhead. Through the glass I could see the sun trying to get through patches of clouds that had failed to burn off. Oh, well, I’ll take what I can get. Closing my eyes, I listened as the sound of a nearby water feature broke the stillness of the large space around me. That was the kind of quietness I needed; a hum that muffled out any human voice that tried to make its way into my ear. Yes, the few people and the quietness of the mall was just what I needed.
“Adams?”
My eyes fluttered open and I saw Jibby ambling toward me. My friend was looking a little too dressed up in a pair of beige slacks, a cream button up shirt, and a pair of dark brown leather loafers. He never wore button up shirts, much less slacks or loafers. His hair was even slicked back like some Wall Street worker. And what’s with the attaché case in his hand? Before I could say or ask anything, Jibby sat down next to me and placed the leather attaché case on the bench next to where he sat.
“You’re probably wondering what’s up with the garb, right?” He slightly pulled the material of his shirt away his body and then let it go, giving out a laugh.
“Well, kind of, yeah.”
“I’m working in my mom’s office today because tax season tends to be quite busy. She can always use the extra help and made sure I dressed the part. Her boss is going to be in today, so Mom didn’t want me looking like something the cat dragged in. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this around.”
“I see. Are you off?”
“No, just on break. I was coming down here to get a snack.” He nodded toward a little snack bar just down the way from where we sat. A girl in her 20s with short black hair and wearing a uniform sat on a stool reading People magazine. I couldn’t help but think of what a skate job she had, even if it had to be more than a little boring.
“What are you doing here? No one ever comes to this so-called mall.” Jibby made air quotes as he looked around at the few people who graced the area.
“I just needed to get out of the house for a while.” I shrugged and asked teasingly, “So, you’re not going outside for a smoke break?”
He laughed and gave me a cute smile. “No, I quit. Besides, my mom would smell it on me.”
“You did? Wow, I never thought you would.”
“Are you still smoking?” He laughed again because he knew I wasn’t much of a smoker.
That day out at the auto shop parking lot was the only time I’d ever lit up. Somehow Jibby
knew that and must have thought it funny.
Playfully I pushed my hand against Jibby’s arm and shook my head. “No, I didn’t make it a habit like you did.”
“Well, that’s good,” Jibby said before looking at his watch and standing up. “I have to buy something to eat and get back. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.” Jibby then walked over to my side of the table and bent down to give me a hug. “You’re doing okay, right?” he whispered into my ear.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
Jibby let me go, and not saying a word he just smiled. I wasn’t sure if he believed the lie or not. “You just seem ... I don’t know … I guess the right word would be sad. Ever since you came back to school you haven’t been yourself.
Shrugging, I assured him that I was fine and pretended like I didn’t know what he was talking about. “It’s just the distance thing with Jensen and the pressure of graduating early and getting college figured out. Thanks for being concerned though. You’re a good friend.”
“Well,
