She wasn’t out the door thirty minutes before Krissa stopped by. By then I was really tired, so Krissa didn’t stay long and made Nate leave with her, saying something about Aria being upset that he was there.
Nate had been playing the part well of a true friend, but I was glad he’d finally left. It gave me time to be alone to think about telling Jensen and what I would say. Obviously the truth, of course, but it was going to be difficult. Yes, I knew I’d have to give this some serious thought. Thinking about what I would say and any subsequent possible reactions, I turned on the television as background noise. Now that I was alone it was way too quiet.
After two days I was finally released from the hospital and Alicia insisted on driving me home.
“So,” she said as we were pulling away from the large concrete building, “are you going to spill where it was that you ate that left you out of commission for an entire week?” Alicia gave me the eye. She knew it wasn’t food poisoning. “Honestly, Mia, I don’t understand why you won’t tell me why you were really in the hospital. I’m covering for you with Jensen and I don’t even know why.”
Instead of answering her, I just sighed and looked out the window at the dimming afternoon light. I wanted to tell someone, anyone, of what had happened and why, but I couldn’t find the words. Besides, Jensen would have to be the first. If only I knew what to say ….
After trudging through the early evening traffic in Alicia’s Prelude, she drove me safely home and helped me into the house before getting me settled on the couch with a blanket she found lying on my bed. Carefully draping the blanket over me, she knelt down and smiled sweetly, almost too sweetly, asking if I was hungry or needed anything. The look in her eyes told me that she wanted to know more, and I was more than tempted to tell her everything. Should I? Coming up with something to tell Jensen was going to take some preparation, so I wondered if maybe I should practice on his sister. She was another girl who would certainly understand what I was going through, so when Alicia turned to leave I softly called her name. Surprised, she turned and looked at me.
“I was in the hospital because I had a large cyst that burst and caused a miscarriage.” Just like that my news was out.
Alicia’s jaw dropped as she gaped at me in surprise, lost for words. I don’t know if I had ever seen her with such a blank look. Slowly she came over and knelt down by the couch, putting her hand over mine.
“I was pregnant,” I said, still trying to believe it myself.
“Oh, Mia, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“Neither did I. The baby was about six weeks along,” I said with a touch of bitter icing to my tone. “Thanksgiving,” I added, not sure if Alicia had done the math. She looked sad. “Jensen doesn’t know yet. Please don’t tell him,” I begged. Alicia only frowned, perhaps in thought. “Alicia?”
“Of course, Mia. Sorry, but I’m still processing the fact that I was almost an aunt ... again,” she added quietly. “Almost ironic.”
I looked at her, questioning what she meant, and Alicia reminded me of Savannah. Oh that. I closed my eyes and welcomed momentary darkness. After a few minutes of quiet she asked the question I was expecting.
“How did you get pregnant if you were on the pill?” Her eyes were wider than normal.
“Savannah was on the pill,” I shared, but Alicia didn’t seem pacified by the answer.
“Which means my brother was irresponsible and didn’t use a back-up.” Alicia bit her lip.
“There were two of us involved here. There’s always two involved. It’s not his fault entirely,” I said, feeling a little annoyed that she was blaming it all on her brother. True, he had gotten two girls pregnant, I couldn’t argue with that, but I felt her logic was flawed.
“Point taken,” Alicia directly said. “Do you want me to stay?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything,” I promised.
Alicia handed over the remote and gave me a silent wave before going out the door. Through the double-paned windows I heard the muffled sound of her car door closing before she fired up the engine to drive the short distance to her house. After watching her car slowly back out of my driveway, I visually swept the room, looking everything over and being more than content that I was finally home. The last thing I wanted to do was watch television since that had been my constant companion at the hospital, but the house was a little lonely and the noise coming from the TV would do nothing but help fill the void. The empty screen almost instantly showed a commercial for the health insurance I had purchased through work, a decision in which I was more than thankful. The hospital bill was sure to be astronomical.
Jensen called the next day around noon when I was lying in bed, trying to relax and take a nap. His voice was heavy with worry.
“Hi, you’re home,” he said, almost like he wasn’t aware I’d come home the night before. He is the one calling me—did he not expect me to be here?
“Alicia gave me a ride,” I answered suspiciously.
“She told me. How are you feeling?”
“Better, but I’m still a little sore in the stomach area.” I stopped myself short, thinking I may have given too much away. Knowing what food poisoning did to a person, I covered with, “I guess that’s to be expected when you’re puking your guts out.” I felt bad lying to Jensen, but it wasn’t the right time to tell him.
“I wish I could be there to take care of you.”
“Me, too.” And that wasn’t a lie.
“Mia, about what happened with Fallon—”
“Jensen, it’s done. Please,” I interrupted him. I knew he wanted to say more, but my tone had decisiveness to it. The truth was, I wasn’t over his episode with Fallon but I didn’t want to talk about it right then. Besides that, I had to confess my own issue with Nate. And then, of course, was the miscarriage. Those subjects needed to be done via a face-to-face conversation. If we got into The Fallon Thing right then I would feel guilty and would have to reciprocate. No, this was wise. Shut the conversation down before I was stuck telling him in a way I didn’t want to.
“Ohhh-kayyy,” he strung out his words in a funny manner.
“Do you mind if I let you go? I’m really tired and I need to get some sleep. Your sister said that early tomorrow she’s going to bring homework for me to catch up on. I’m sure I’ll have a ton of it to get through this weekend before I go back on Monday.”
“Sure,” Jensen sighed. “I love you.” Before I had a chance to tell him I loved him back he hung up with a click, leaving me with nothing but the dial tone.
3. Trying for a Normal Routine
I returned to school that following Monday with only Nate and Alicia knowing my secret and hoping to keep it that way. Krissa knew better than to pry, and Aria was still pissed at me, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone else finding out the details of my hospital stay.
