and ego. Although both are required for one’s existence, they conflict with each other quite often. This is the point at which you decide what to keep and what to lose. The mind tries to control things due to its fear, and fear keeps you from finding love. To your ego, love seems dangerous, threatening and heartbreaking. It can incite feelings of rejection, conflict and therefore destroy your individuality and independence and resulting in pain. Given that human nature is designed to avoid pain, you or he may subconsciously avoid love.
Love, on the other hand, is associated with feelings of passion and a sense of belonging to another person or thing. Following your heart may at times result in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. But doing so is not about being comfortable and not about getting approval. It is about achieving your dreams and fantasies. It is about finding and living your life to the full. It is about truly feeling alive and courageous.
Few have been taught by their parents or society to follow one’s heart. The ego is concerned with losing things or people you desire. Therefore, what others think of you becomes important, creating a duality between you and your heart’s true desire. Everything confirms that the world is separate from you. If you are separate, then by definition, it is logical to fear what is not part of you. Once you start to allow yourself to be happy, the moment you accept yourself and your life, that is the time you begin to enjoy what life has to offer.
If you have a hard time taking criticism, if you experience pain, then you have a sensitive ego. Explore the depths of your ego by asking yourself what can push your buttons, hurt you psychologically, trigger anger or provoke a reaction. Do you show off to appear greater than how you feel you are, or do you act shy and timid, hiding behind a stereotype or label? Ego is essentially fear disguised as confidence; it is the voice of distrust. Losing your ego means putting aside what you believe makes you special. Your ego is responsible for protecting you, whether using an aggressive or a defensive approach. It does not allow you to trust your heart, as it requires being in control. The ego is your weaknesses disguised as strength, allowing others to take advantage, making you become the very thing you fear.
If you are indifferent and let go of your ego by seeing reality with your heart and not your head, you can open yourself up to unimaginable possibilities, new strategies and creativity you were previously unable to conceive. This new found freedom can provide you with opportunities for growth, love, harmony, peace and joy.
WHY LOVE ENDS
We all have to let go of the Prince Charming complex and realise he doesn’t necessarily exist in the package we assume he’ll come in. –Gabrielle Union
The beginning of love is generally passionate. After the passion fades, it is the attachment that you have developed for one another that keeps you together. When you become attached, you still love, but you are no longer in love. Some simply love and others fall in love; those who can combine both have lasting love. Perfection is something you expect before you meet the person with whom you fall deeply in love. Love is possible without needing to compromise your values, your morals or yourself. There is no perfection in a relationship; expecting that will lead you to disappointment and in the end, no relationship will be able to satisfy you. Every person loves differently and some unfortunately just do not know how to love.
Love really is not all that it is cracked up to be. Be open to all possibilities, as you may very well be missing out on the most meaningful experiences of your life. At the same time, never lower your expectations, but instead think of ways to get him to respond in the way that you would like him to. He may not have the capacity to love you the way you want to be loved. In this case, the best solution is to simply yield to someone who can. If you have been lucky enough to experience love, you know that you have the ability to repeat this amazing process again. Timing is sometimes a problem; you might meet the right person at the wrong time. Romantic love is indeed an addiction and will not necessarily lead to true love. It is likely that it will peak too soon, reducing pleasure in the long term. If the game is to continue, you need to begin the game again repeatedly. You should not exclusively aim for pleasure and harmony in a relationship. Sometimes it is a relief to find that you are not in love; sometimes it’s painful while other times it requires patience. Yet at the end of the road, it is worth enduring the bumps and enjoying the ride.
Creating attraction is easy initially, but more challenging to maintain for a long period of time. It can be maintained if you convey more fantasy and less reality. Love is the space where illusion and reality intertwine. Too much of any one thing is boring. Whether it is passion, peace, anger or confidence, it will follow a natural balance order of peace. I often hear the question, ‘If God is good, what is the reason for all the pain and misery?’ God is all knowing and he knows only too well that too much peace and tranquillity becomes boring. One must learn to cherish the good and accept the bad. If everything is the same colour, the colour will lose its meaning. Therefore, when he is bored, shift the reality into something that seems more exciting.
A man can grow bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful she is. He yearns to experience a range of different pleasures. First, you need intrigue him, and then his interests need to be transformed into a stronger desire. Generally, desire precedes feelings of emptiness or a dream which needs fulfilling. Is it adventure and romance that is lacking in his life? Convince him that you are the one who can fill the empty space in his soul, and his interest in you will blossom into desire. Disaffection, obsession, torture and frustration come from the inability to love or to be loved and the inability to receive or reciprocate pleasure. The real bitterness comes from failing to keep the object of your desire.
Do not become bland and boring; always strive to become a better version of yourself. Consciously control your character and adapt to new situations. The world is constantly changing, so learn to adapt to these changes. Manage this by leading him with your heart and patience, completely understanding him and adapting to him accordingly. Switch what you need or no longer need in your relationship on or off at your will. Be creative with your style, explore different places as a couple, and alter your words and actions. There is no need to be overly dramatic, think about moments of delight point out what could be achieved between the two of you. Imagine life as if you were living out a fiction novel or were characters in a film. This helps when you settle into a routine when the adventure is over.
Life is all a game, a showground for a play. Falling in love means to literally lose control, a mix of fear and excitement. You should never allow him to become totally comfortable; steer him away from boredom. To do this, you need to make sure you press the right buttons. Offer a combination of feelings, surprise, indifference and extreme care. The more unpredictable you are, the more you can keep him guessing. Do not allow boredom to creep in.
Create a Lasting Love
Only unfulfilled love can be romantic. –Christina Victoria Barcelona
It is natural to fantasise about a dream man who will come riding by on his white horse. You will dream that he will fall madly in love with you and sweep you off your feet. This man will take you away from the troubles in your life, leading you to your happily ever after. Every woman’s image of this dream man is different. They could be looking for handsome, famous, rich, kind, strong and these qualities can vary. Once he enters your life, you realise reality is not how you perceived it. It is the same for him, and the production of love is like a spell being cast. The mystery, suspense and drama brought about by love are only an illusion to help you get closer to him.
When he first falls in love, he does not fall in love with your normal self; he falls in love with your best self, without the insecurities and weaknesses you have managed to temporarily hide. When the chase is over, there is the danger of dissatisfaction ruining all your hard work. Do not only rely on your physical beauty, as it loses appeal with repeated exposure; only the right approach and effort will fight off disinterest.
