live with ADHD.
Some of the most common attributes of someone who has ADHD is the incredible distractibility of the person. Not only does this naturally distracted nature lead to unfinished projects, but this symptom might also cause a person to forget things. In a relationship, this might mean forgetting something important like an anniversary or forgetting something minor like returning a video to the store.
People with ADHD are also likely to ignore directions and try to accomplish projects without the input of anyone else. They may reject the advice and suggestions of others, which may cause problems in a relationship when a partner just wants to help. Such behavior might make it seem as though the individual with ADHD doesn't appreciate the input of his or her partner. This is why communication is so important in a relationship when someone has ADHD.
The tendency of a person with ADHD to fidget and squirm may seem annoying to his or her partner, but fidgeting shouldn't be interpreted as a signal that someone doesn't want to be there and wants to do something else. Someone who taps his foot during a children's school recital due to his ADHD isn't necessarily interested in being elsewhere. The fidgeting is simply a common symptom or characteristic of someone who has ADHD and must sit still for a long period of time.
People with ADHD are also very likely to be incredibly talkative and likely to interrupt conversations or try to take over the discussion. This isn't a sign of impatience with a partner; excitement during conversations is simply the result of a hyperactive nature and a need to be talking, moving, or fidgeting all the time. Getting used to a person's inappropriate comments and loudness may be difficult for a partner who isn't used to acting with such exuberance all the time.
How to Live With a Person Who Has ADHD
Although people who have ADHD may have problems sustaining long-term relationships and marriage, it's not impossible to be happy with such an individual as long as that person's partner knows about the condition and how to deal with it in a relationship. One of the problems that commonly results from such relationships is that one person in the relationship tries the same thing over and over again and doesn't get the result he or she wants.
For example, a person might try to remind his or her partner on a daily basis about something important, but the knowledge never seems to stick. Instead of getting frustrated with a partner's behavior, it's better to consider a different approach to the problem. It's possible that a verbal reminder just isn't the right way to make sure a person with ADHD remembers something. Trying a different angle, such as writing something down, may provide a much better reminder. People with ADHD tend to forget things they're told almost immediately yet may be able to deal much better with a written reminder.
It's impossible to understand motives without communication in a typical relationship, but this issue could be greatly exaggerated in a relationship where someone has ADHD. An extraordinary amount of tension may build if there isn't effort on the part of both members in the relationship or marriage to communicate regularly. It's essential that someone without ADHD doesn't blame the other person in the relationship for their behavior.
Learning to live in harmony with a person who has ADHD does take a lot of effort, and it's not something that can be dealt with a single time. ADHD is a lifelong condition and requires smart planning on the part of the person who doesn't have ADHD and effort on the part of the person suffering from the condition. Living with someone who has ADHD can be frustrating, but it can also be exciting and constantly surprising.
A person who has ADHD must certainly work hard to ensure the success of any relationship; however, his or her partner must also entertain creative strategies for a successful relationship. ADHD is a condition that may impact anyone and is common across all age groups, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds. A successful relationship certainly isn't impossible when one of the members has ADHD, but it does require extra attention paid to communication since the natural behavior of someone with ADHD may appear as incredibly insensitive or unloving to the person who doesn't have ADHD.
Chapter 4- Dating and Marriage Strains
Romantic relationships are some of the most fulfilling relationships that a person can enjoy in life. However, these relationships are also the most challenging. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even the best dating or marriage partnership is the union of two imperfect people.
Each relationship is different, but there are some common strains that will affect almost every couple during some point in their journey together. If you are aware of these strains, you can be proactive in protecting your relationship.
A Crammed Schedule
We are living in a busy and harried world. Your task list is most likely filled to the brim, and there are always more tasks and people that need something from you.
A crammed schedule can place a tremendous strain on a relationship. When you are too busy, you do not have adequate time to spend with your partner. A lack of time turns into a lack of communication, and it is easy for your relationship to fall into a downward spiral.
If your schedule or your partner's schedule is affecting your relationship, something has to give. You continue at such a frantic place for the long term without growing apart.
If you desire to free up some time in your schedule, sit down with a piece of paper and write down your normal daily schedule. Take a look at each item on the list, and try to find just one thing that you can eliminate. After you eliminate that item, you can start eliminating other unnecessary tasks.
Money
Money is one of the most common factors that cause disagreements between couples. If you are dating, it can be tricky to figure out who should pay on dates. If you are married, the financial decisions are even more important.
In many relationships, one person is a saver and the other is a spender. This difference can be the source of tension, but it can also be an asset in your relationship. Instead of fighting against your differences, try to find some common ground. You can set guidelines for money that will keep both parties happy.
For instance, you might decide that you will consult the other person when you are making a purchase over $100. This allows the spender to have some freedom in how she spends her money, and it also allows the saver to be assured that he will be consulted before large purchases.
Growing and Changing
Whether you start a relationship when you are 15 or 50, you never stop changing. As you have new life experiences, you will be continually growing and changing. Some of these changes will be positive, and some will be negative, but changes are an inevitable part of romantic relationships.
If you are not prepared for changes in your relationship, they can shake you to your core. It is disconcerting to realize the person that you married has evolved into a different person. When you are feeling disheartened by changes, be honest with your partner. The dynamics of your relationship will change many times throughout the decades that you spend together, but change can actually be a very good thing.
Other People
Even though you are involved in a romantic relationship, you still have many other relationships in your life. Your friends, co-workers and family members might all have an opinion about your relationship, but it is important to set boundaries.
