the frame in which grief is discussed. Attachment styles are also discussed.
Loss
Loss is a broad term used to encompass any number of real-life experiences, the result of which leads to feelings of grief. It may include the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, a big move and/or lifestyle adjustment, the ending of a romantic relationship, estrangement of a family member, the dissolution of a friendship, receiving a chronic and debilitating diagnosis, surviving an assault, and so on. Typically, what qualifies a loss event is that it negatively impacts our sense of emotional and mental wellbeing, and may even threaten our sense of self-efficacy and identity. In fact, loss can change our worldview entirely, leaving us feeling insecure in its wake.
Trauma
Trauma is the result of a profound loss. Traumatic events are extraordinary, not because they occur rarely, but rather because they overwhelm the ordinary human adaptations to life (Herman, 1990). “Trauma theory” is a relatively recent concept that emerged in the healthcare environment during the 1970s, mostly in connection with studies of Vietnam veterans and other survivor groups (Holocaust survivors, abused women and children, disaster survivors, refugees, victims of sexual assault). Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was added as a new category in the American Psychiatric Association official manual of mental disorders in 1980. Chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) has also become an area of study for individuals with prolonged exposure to traumatic experiences. Trauma theory represents a fundamental shift in thinking from the idea that those who have experienced psychological trauma are either “sick” or deficient in moral character, to the reframe that they are “injured” and in need of healing. The impact of trauma is discussed throughout this text.
Grief, bereavement, and mourning
While some people tend to use the three words interchangeably, there is a difference. Grieving is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions. In the context of this text, grief is understood to encompass one’s reaction to any major loss that causes a disruption to the attachment system. Bereavement is a period of sadness following the loss experience; it refers specifically to the state of loss. Mourning is best understood as the way we express our grief in front of others. Religious practices and cultural customs (such as funerals, memorials, ancestral altars, etc.) are frequently the most obvious examples of this expression.
Complicated grief
Sometimes called “persistent complex bereavement disorder,” complicated grief is differentiated from “normal” grief, in that the symptoms last for a prolonged period of time (from a diagnostic perspective, longer than six months), and severely impact the ability of an individual to resume healthy functioning and maintain a quality of life. Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing. There are many similarities between complicated grief and major depression, but there are also distinct differences. In some cases, clinical depression and complicated grief occur together. Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include: intense sorrow and pain at the thought of your loved one, focus on little else but your loved one’s death or absence, extreme focus on reminders of the loved one or excessive avoidance of reminders, intense and persistent longing or pining for the deceased or absent, problems accepting the death or absence, numbness or detachment, bitterness about your loss, feeling that life holds no meaning or purpose, irritability or agitation, lack of trust in others, and inability to enjoy life or think back on positive experiences with your loved one.
Integration
In essence, integration is how we observe, understand, interact with, create, and communicate our life story. Integration has been defined through various stage theories, models of change and research methodologies, many of which you will find illuminated in this text. It is not finding the missing pieces of a puzzle—we are already whole and always have been—it is a reshaping of the puzzle to include all the pieces that need to fit.
References
Ainsworth, M.D.S. (1973) ‘The development of infant–mother attachment.’ In B. Cardwell and H. Ricciuti (eds) Review of Child Development Research (Vol. 3). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Amen, D. (2007) The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life. New York: Random House Publishing.
Bowlby, J. (1969) Attachment. Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books.
Fonagy, P. (2001) Attachment Theory and Psychoanalysis. New York: Other Press.
Fromm, E. (1956) The Art of Loving. New York: Harper & Row.
Hansen, M. (2009) Collaboration: How Leaders Avoid the Traps, Build Common Ground, and Reap Big Results. Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press.
Hass-Cohen, N. and Findlay, J.C. (2015) Art Therapy and the Neuroscience of Relationships, Creativity, and Resiliency: Skills and Practices. New York: W.W. Norton.
Herman, J.L. (1990) Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. New York: Basic Books.
James, J. and Friedman, R. (2009) The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith. New York: Harper Collins Publishers.
Jung, J. (2001) Psychology of Alcohol and Other Drugs: A Research Perspective. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969) On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy, and Their Own Families. New York: Scribner.
Maisel, E. and Raeburn, S. (2008) Creative Recovery: A Complete Addiction Treatment Program That Uses Your Natural Creativity. Boston, MA: Shambalah.
Matthews, D. and Clark, C. (1998) The Faith Factor: Proof of the Healing Power of Prayer. New York: Penguin.
Pine, F. (1990) Drive, Ego, Object and Self. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Satir, V. (1988) The New People Making. Mountain View, CA: Science and Behavior Books.
Stein, M. (2004) Jung’s Map of the Soul: An Introduction. Chicago: Open Court.
Tolle, E. (2005) A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. New York: Namaste Publishing.
Viorst, J. (1986) Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give up in Order to Grow. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Wallin, D. (2007) Attachment Psychotherapy. New York: Guilford.
Welwood, J. (2000) Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation. Boston, MA: Shambalah.
Winnicott, D.W. (1970) Playing and Reality. New York: Routledge.
Wolfelt, A. (2003) Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart. Fort Collins, CO: Companion Press.
Wolfelt, A. (2014) ‘The capacity to love, the reason we grieve.’ TAPS Magazine, 20, 3. Retrieved from http://www.taps.org/magazine/article.aspx?id=12513, accessed on February 27, 2017.
2
The
