leader who displays this moral courage honours those who also show the same behaviour. It is the beginning of an ethically motivated team. It leads on to ethically motivated departments and even whole organizations.
The moral courage needed to follow your principles and take difficult decisions will inspire your team.
We all have moments in our lives when we come to a difficult situation that screams to us to give in. Everyone else has given up so why don’t you? Do you stay and fight? Or do you suddenly feel lonely and join the others walking away? Welcome to the world of mental toughness.
Being a leader calls upon mental toughness many times over. For example, you’ve communicated the goal to everyone. But now you find that circumstances have changed in a way you could never have foreseen. You still want the goal. But people are telling you to ‘get real’ and let the goal go.
case study Times were hard and Manish was told he had to make cuts in his management team. The problem was that the manager whose role was least needed happened to be the most popular. When Manish gave Vijay the news he took it badly. He made the remaining weeks of his notice hell for Manish. Many staff refused to talk to Manish. Likewise, peers who liked Vijay also made sure he had a hard time. Then Manish’s boss asked if he’d made the right decision! At every turn Manish was doubted. Vijay left. Within weeks he was rarely talked about. Relationships settled back down. Manish had made the right decision and stayed with it. His mental toughness was tested and he triumphed. He is now a director in that company.
Such moments are lonely. And it’s often these moments that highlight just how isolating the position of being a leader is. It’s the ‘moment of truth’: to carry on or give up.
The American football coach Vince Lombardi said of mental toughness: “Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. It is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It’s a state of mind – you could call it character in action.”
Mental toughness is about recognizing the fight as a long one. There are times when you have everyone with you. And times you’re on your own. Either way, a mentally tough leader will be determined to see it through to achieve what they know is the right outcome.
One person is a great example of this combination of passion and patience: KFC’s Colonel Sanders. He experienced 1,009 rejections before the first restaurant agreed to sell his chicken for him!
Mental toughness is the determination to carry on against the odds to achieve success.
Self-discipline is putting aside what you’d like to do to concentrate on something you need to do. It’s recognizing the temptations, desires and habits that can seduce you towards an easier path. But a leader calls upon an inner strength that makes them choose the harder – and right – path. And that path involves sacrifice and commitment.
In Greek mythology, Odysseus was warned about the sirens. The sirens sang music so beautiful that it lured sailors to their death on the rocks around their island. To escape, Odysseus made his men plug their ears and tied himself to the mast. Because of this they successfully kept their ship on course.
one minute wonder Which habits could you change by asserting more self-discipline? Write them down. What alternative behaviours would bring better results? What justifications do you give yourself for your negative or unhelpful behaviours? What’s the first thing you can do to exert self-discipline and get these habits under control?
Self-discipline is the same choice. If you go with your emotions rather than your inner strength and logic, your purpose or goal may smash upon the rocks. You need to exert will-power over your desires and exercise real self-control. Your self-discipline will be recognized – and often imitated – by those you lead.
So what prevents us from conquering these emotions and choosing the right path? What some do is fool themselves and find justifications for their choices. Why don’t I exercise more? I haven’t the time! Why don’t I get up earlier? I work so hard and get so tired. Why do I drink? If only you knew the stress I’m under!
If we can fool ourselves so easily, are we fit to lead others? If we can’t be truthful to ourselves, how truthful are we to those we lead? We need to train ourselves to control our behaviours. Show the strength of our own willpower by refusing to be ruled by weaknesses or habits.
Management consultant Stephen Covey thought that discipline was freedom: “The undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. Leadership is about freely choosing thoughts and actions that lead to improvement. It’s denying the easy gratifications that surround us and keeping true to our goals. To ask others to demonstrate self-discipline involves us setting the example.
Self-discipline means denying yourself what you want to do and doing what you need to do.
You may think your words count. But they don’t count anywhere near as much as your deeds count. Your deeds speak to your team about your character. They convey what you value and who you are. They are your values in action. So you must make sure that your actions are driven by the right values.
Everybody has values. Unfortunately some people’s values are unattractive. They value themselves and their own feelings of superiority. They value their own needs being met – even at others’ expense. Do you recognize those values? You’ve probably witnessed them in someone you’ve worked for. And that’s the interesting thing. Even when people try and cover up their negative values, they can’t. They leak out. They become visible.
case study When Tony told me how popular he was as a manager, I straight away began to have doubts. Why did he feel the need to tell me? Tony told me other things as well. He said his door was always open to his staff. That his values were respect and putting his employees first. Talking to his staff proved the opposite. “He hasn’t time for anyone,” complained one employee. “Always has one eye on his career,” said his team leader. Tony was a man who thought that by merely repeating his declared values to people, they would not notice the real values that he had. Real values always become visible.
“Character is doing what’s right when nobody’s looking”
J C Watts, US congressman
But positive values leak out as well. These values appear in the way that we behave towards our team. As General Norman Schwarzkopf said, “The main ingredient of good leadership is good character. This is because leadership involves conduct and conduct is determined by values.”
We probably have two sets of values. The first values are those that we tell people about. They are our ‘declared values’. The other set of values are those that people actually see in action – our ‘demonstrated’ values. A person who has a strong character is always trying to make sure that their declared values match their demonstrated
