Parker – he said – my wife Mary – aargh! – Another plus – in dads eyes anyway. Had to be English – first thing they taught us in psych school was only the English risk pain for the sake of politeness.
– let me have a look – I said – set him down there dad –
Dad obeyed. Must be a first!
– my daughters had St John Ambulance training – he said proudly. Touched me for a moment to hear him bragging about me – then he spoilt it by dragging you into it!
– when she wanted to go to college – he went on – I told her she ought to sign up for training as a nurse like her sister Cassie – but of course it was like banging my head against a brick wall –
1st time the famous phrase had cropped up in a week. Found Id been missing it!
I said – ignore my father. When he dies were going to build him a headstone out of cracked bricks. Now lets get that shoe off while we can –
The DB winced as I removed his shoe & sock – then regarded his enlarged ankle with a kind of complacent pride. I was about to offer my not very expert opinion when he forestalled me – addressing his wife – something like this.
– look Mary – some typical subcutaneous swelling – the beginnings of what will doubtless be an extensive ecchymosis – tarsal movement restricted but still possible with moderate to acute pain – a strain I would say – certainly no worse than a sprain. Thank heaven I have always mended quickly. What a laugh they will have at home when they ask how I hurt myself – & we tell them I did it looking for a healer! –
This odd bit of self-diagnosis – with its odder conclusion – confirmed dads suspicion he was dealing with a particularly daft DB – & he burst out – what the hell were you playing at? This is a country lane not a public race track! –
Parker replied – youre right of course. But I didnt anticipate even someone as unworldly as a healer would let his driveway fall into such bad repair –
– its worse than bad – its dangerous! – chimed in his wife – The man should be taken to court for letting it get into that condition. How does he expect people to get anywhere near his house? –
& George put his large foot in it by saying with a grin – aye – theres not many get past dads tank trap –
The woman looked at him suspiciously – while dad gave him one of his shut-your-gob glares – then changed the subject by demanding – house? – What house? –
– Mr Godleys house. There – said Parker.
He pointed up the hillside towards the ruins. From below – the alders in full leaf – that one bit of wall still standing does look like there might be a whole building behind.
– you mean the old mill? Well you could have saved yourself the bother – declared dad – Nowt to be seen up there – all the machinery were taken out twenty years ago – you can see some of it along at the Dales Museum – if youve got time to waste. As for the building – roofs fallen in & most of the walls. Id have knocked the rest down years back only some daft bugger got a conservation order put on it –
– but that cant be right – protested the man – darling pass me the magazine –
The woman dived into her bag & produced a copy of Mid-Yorkshire Life. It was folded open at a short piece entitled ‘Healing Hands’ – with a pic of a slightly embarrassed bearded guy holding up what were presumably the hands in question. His name – thisll make you laugh – was Gordon Godley!
– look – said Mr Parker triumphantly – its got the address quite clearly here. The Old Mill – Willingdene. Seeing the village signposted as we drove back from Harrogate – a sadly unproductive visit – once it may have been a serious spa town but now it has given itself over almost completely to commerce & frivolity – I naturally diverted & enquired of a young lad the way to the Old Mill. He gave me most precise directions which brought me here. Are you now telling me that is not the Old Mill? –
Im giving you Tom Parker verbatim – else youd miss the flavour. Its like listening to an old fashioned book come to life!
Dad smiled. You know how much he enjoys putting daft buggers right.
– it were once a mill right enough – & its certainly old. But theres not been anybody living there for half a century or more & Ill tell you why. This here is Willingden – just the one e. Willingdene is way up at the northern end of the dale –
If hed been a footie player – hed have set off running round the meadow – whirling his shirt over his head! He just loves winning – no matter who gets beaten. Remember those games of snap we used to play?
Mr Parker seemed more cast down by this news than by his sprained ankle.
– Im sorry my dear – he said to his wife – I should have taken more notice –
Taking all the blame on himself again – even though she was the one with the mag article. Nice – I thought. His reward was her continued terrier like support.
– it makes no difference – she said – this is marked on the map as a public right of way & someone ought to keep it in a proper condition –
– Charley – said dad quickly – whats the verdict on that ankle? –
I couldnt see any point in disagreeing with the patient.
– I think Mr Parkers right & its just a sprain – I said – a cold compress will help & he certainly shouldnt put any weight on it –
How was that Nurse Heywood?
– right – said dad – Charley bring the quad – lets get Mr & Mrs Parker down to the house – make them a bit more comfortable. George – you stop here & get the car pulled out of that mud. Clean it up & check for damage. Ill get on my mobile – tell your mother to put the kettle on – Im sure these good people are ready for a nice cup of tea –
I caught his eye & let my jaw drop in mock astonishment at this transformation from dedicated xenophobe to Good Samaritan.
He actually blushed! Then he gave me a sheepish grin that invited my complicity.
I grinned back & headed off towards the quad.
Hes not such a bad old sod really – is he? As long as he gets his own way. Bit like you! All right – & like me too. The fruit doesnt fall far from the tree. But you led the way. If you hadnt stood up to him & gone off to nurse – I doubt Id have had the nerve to hold out to go to uni & do psychology – & now after 3 years – whenever he gets close to driving me mad – I try to think of him as a case study!
But Ive still not told you how the Parkers came to be house-guests.
Thing was – when G pulled their car out of the tank trap – he found it wouldnt steer properly. Winstons garage said they could fix it – but theyd have to send away for a part. Tomorrow – they said – but knowing Winstons Im not holding my breath.
When
