Escape to Willow Cottage: The brilliant, laugh-out-loud romcom you need to read in autumn 2018. Bella Osborne
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‘I’ll take Doris home, and you and Leo can meet me at the tearoom.’ His voice was still gruff. She knew he was still cross with her but his eyes seemed to convey concern.
The tearoom was teeming with the Dumbleford lunchtime rush but Rhonda quickly cleared them a table by the window and Beth was soon staring at the biggest pile of bacon slapped between two halves of a white roll that she had ever seen. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten white bread; living in London there were always lots of options and Nick had had wheat intolerance so they’d mainly eaten rye. Beth and Jack reached for the ketchup at the same time and when their fingers touched they both recoiled in a flood of apologies. Beth didn’t like how her body had reacted to the contact.
Jack quickly turned his attention to his butty. ‘Dive in,’ he said, his bouncing eyebrows giving away his enthusiasm.
Leo didn’t need telling twice. He grabbed his and stuffed as much as he could into his mouth, making his mother wince at his lack of table manners.
Beth gave her plate a sideways look. ‘There’s like half a pig in there.’
‘I know, it’s fabulous!’ Jack took a huge bite out of his.
Beth wanted to ask for a knife and fork but even then she wasn’t sure how exactly to tackle the teetering tower, the smell of which was making her senses tingle. Sod it, she thought as she picked it up, opened her mouth as wide as it would go and bit into it. Leo grinned at her.
Beth closed her eyes as she chewed. It was crispy bacon heaven. Without speaking Beth and Leo communicated their mutual enjoyment with a series of exaggerated facial expressions and eye rolls. Beth popped the last morsel into her mouth and almost felt sad – she didn’t want the bacon butty to end.
‘I told you they were the best.’ Jack’s expression conveyed that he was pleased with himself.
‘Amazing,’ said Leo. ‘I’m bored now. Can I play outside?’ He looked to Beth for her approval.
‘Well, okay,’ she said reluctantly, ‘but stay on this side of the village green where I can see you.’ Leo didn’t respond – he was already running for the door and artfully dodging Maureen and a laden tray.
‘I’m sorry about laughing earlier,’ said Jack.
‘It’s okay. I’m not used to this sort of renovation so it’s …’
‘I don’t think you’re used to renovation at all,’ stated Jack over the top of Beth’s explanation. She was about to protest but he continued. ‘Pointing is the cement-like filler between tiles or bricks and over time it crumbles and therefore lets in moisture.’
‘Right,’ said Beth, feeling embarrassment flush in her cheeks.
‘And when I said I liked the Flemish bond I meant the wall, it’s a style of brickwork.’
‘Right, not James Bond then?’
‘Nope.’
Beth looked at Jack and into his pale grey-blue eyes. He looked sympathetic rather than mocking but she felt stupid all the same. She sighed. ‘Look, I might not have been entirely truthful, but the thing is …’
A wheelie trolley suddenly appeared at the side of their table interrupting Beth’s flow.
‘Hello, Jack. Hello again, crazy lady,’ said the old woman, with a chuckle.
‘Shirley, this is Beth. Beth this is Shirley, one of Dumbleford’s oldest residents.’
‘Aye, cheeky!’ said Shirley, giving him a pretend clip round the head.
‘I mean you’ve lived here the longest.’
‘Oh, okay, I’ll give you that.’ She eyed their mugs of tea and winked at them dramatically. Shirley bent over and rummaged in her trolley before producing a hip flask. ‘Just the thing to liven up tea,’ she said unscrewing the top.
‘We’re okay, thanks, Shirley,’ said Jack, and Beth looked relieved at not having to refuse whatever was in the flask. The woman was a mobile off-licence although it could be poison for all Beth knew – she was clearly potty. Shirley looked disappointed but returned the flask to the trolley and patted the lid affectionately. She then shuffled next to Beth. ‘Budge up,’ she said, as she lowered herself onto Beth’s chair. Beth only had a moment’s notice to move over to Leo’s vacated seat. Beth recoiled and tried very hard not to breathe in through her nose but when she did she wasn’t expecting the gust of lily of the valley thrust up her nasal passages. She was surprised; not pleasantly surprised as she loathed the smell, but it was better than she had been expecting from the bag lady.
‘So you’ve heard about Wilf’s place?’ Shirley said to Jack.
‘Yes, I’m giving Beth here a hand,’ said Jack, trying to pull Beth into the conversation.
‘Huh, she’ll need more than that! More like a miracle!’ Shirley started to giggle.
‘I think the property is sound, Shirley. Did the survey throw up much?’ asked Jack, turning to Beth.
Beth blinked hard and failed to hide her annoyance, which was mainly with herself at the rash bidding decision that had landed her here, but also at being interrogated.
‘I didn’t actually have a survey done but there was one I received when I got the keys and …’ Beth tailed off as Shirley had slowly swivelled round and was staring at her from an altogether far too close proximity.
‘And?’ prompted Jack.
‘And I started to read it but it was all a bit overwhelming.’ Beth shuddered at the memory of how many times the report mentioned the words ‘significant defects’, ‘overhauling’, ‘upgrading’ and ‘inadequate’.
‘I could look at it for you?’ offered Jack.
Beth felt a stab of humiliation as Jack gave her a pitying look. How had she gone from being a totally in control sought-after individual in the business world to this? Nick, that was how and she hated him even more for it.
Beth had the survey report clutched in her hand and she put it on the B&B kitchen table before answering her mobile.
‘Before I forget, Danny says you’re due a cut and colour,’ said Carly as soon as Beth picked up.
‘Hiya, I don’t know where I’ll go for that.’ There was no hairdresser in the village and nobody she had come across had a haircut that would prompt her to ask where they got theirs done.
‘Anyway, Danny had seen this article on treehouses in a magazine in the salon and, love him, he dropped it round to the flat and they are simply stunning. Beth, you want to see them, they’re amazing. They’re like the best hotel suites up in a tree and some are catered, so they deliver this gourmet meal for you to have by candlelight. One of them was full of flowers;