us…”
“We laughed till we peed,” Julie pointed out.
“Yeah. We were idiots.” Cassie sipped her drink. “We went on that all-girl camping trip once,” Cassie said. “But there was a leak and it didn’t stay all-girl too long. I lost my virginity for the third time that weekend.” She sipped some more. “Maybe we should do that again. An all-girl camping trip. And this time, keep it to ourselves.”
“Can’t. If Billy ever finds out I’m willing to camp, my life is over. Sleeping on the ground is about the only vacation we can afford.” She sighed. “I’m not fun anymore,” Julie said. “I’m a drudge.” Billy came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. Julie turned and looked up at him. “Did you touch her?”
“No, Jules. I’ve gotten really attached to my balls. But if she’s going to keep rubbing those tits on my arm, I’m going to need a lot more to drink.”
“Funny,” she said. “How much longer do we have to stay?”
“Joe has some fireworks,” he said.
“There could be fireworks right in this room if I have to watch Chelsea gaze at you like a lovesick puppy for one more second…”
“Everyone else is having fun watching her flag her butt and preen. What’s wrong with you?” he asked with a grin.
“I admit, it’s been entertaining as hell, but I was thinking maybe there’s a Law and Order rerun on TV. It’s a tough choice, but I might have to go with the rerun.”
“Isn’t this just a rerun?” Cassie asked, laughing.
Although it wasn’t late—eleven or so—Julie and Billy said their goodbyes and left the party. They drove by Julie’s mom’s house, scooped up three sleeping kids and went home. While Julie made sure everyone was tucked in for the night, Billy turned on the TV. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and crawled into bed. Before she could fall asleep, he was shedding his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor and getting in beside her. She could feel him naked and primed against her thigh.
“Oh, Jesus,” she muttered.
“What? You wanted to come home early. You didn’t turn on a rerun…”
“Billy…”
“Tell you what—just for fun, let’s not fight. Let’s just do it. That always puts you in a better mood.”
“Did Chelsea get you all spooled up?” she asked him.
“Chelsea?” he asked, laughing. “How many years are you going to ask me that, Jules? I don’t want Chelsea.”
“I can’t…Come on…”
“Why? You on the rag or something? Cramps?”
“Late,” she said.
He rose up on an elbow and looked down at her. “It’s not that late…”
“I’m late,” she said. “My period’s late.”
Shock was etched into his handsome features. Then dawning. “Oh, so that’s what’s got a bug up your ass lately. We’re caught again? We can’t be.”
“If we are, I’m going to kill myself. Then you.”
He grinned at her. “We could use another girl to even things out.”
“What we could use is a vasectomy!”
“Yeah. I guess. After this one…”
“Billy!”
“What?”
“We can’t have another baby!”
“Well, you act like this is my fault!”
“It wasn’t the UPS guy!”
He grinned into her eyes and brushed a little hair away from her brow. “I bet I know when it was,” he said, his voice thick and husky. “We had dinner with your folks and you liked me. I didn’t fuck up all night, which is a miracle, huh? Then after the kids were in bed, you liked me a lot. Kind of took me by surprise, but I think I stepped up to the plate pretty good there.” He gave her a kiss on the nose, on the lips, on the chin. “I did such a good job, maybe you popped about ten eggs and one of ‘em slipped right by that IUD…”
Her eyes welled with tears. “We can’t afford another baby. We can’t afford the ones we have.”
“We get by okay. It won’t be a struggle forever.”
“It will if you keep knocking me up!”
He chuckled. “You’re so damned knock-upable. I just can’t help myself. And it’s not like I planned it. I’m just so potent.”
“See, you think you’re so manly right now. They’ll swim through anything—through condoms, IUDs, diaphragms…And you’re goddamn proud of yourself!”
“Nah, that’s not it,” he said. “But I have to admit—I love you pregnant…”
“You’re just an idiot! I can’t pay the bills! Don’t you get that?”
“Except the part where you’re in a bad mood all the time and throw up. But you’re probably not crazy about that part, either.”
“Did you look around Marty and Joe’s tonight? The big house, the nice furniture, all the stuff they have? You know why? They didn’t get married when they were twelve, they have only one child and she works, that’s why! While we’re eating casserole made out of tuna or, on a big night, wings and thighs!”
“Yeah, it’s really tight, but I don’t think we should give any children away…”
“I’m not finding this funny at all! We’ll never get out of debt!”
“Listen, you can’t make assumptions about people, about their lives. Who knows what’s going on in their private lives? For all we know, Marty and Joe have fifty-thousand-dollar credit-card bills and a second, third and fourth mortgage. And besides, I wouldn’t trade one of our kids for a pinball machine or pool table.” Then he rolled his eyes upward. “Well, I’d probably trade Clint for a boat and an RV…”
“We haven’t planned one single baby,” she whimpered.
“Apparently we don’t have to.”
“Really, I’m very upset about this,” she said, pursing her lips, trying for control.
“Okay, I’m not going to let you get me all stirred up, because you’re…well, you know what you are,” he said. “We try our best to keep from getting pregnant, but we’ve had a surprise or two and we take what we get. Not because we wanted another one right now, but because it’s on the way, it’s ours and we can.”
“Well, don’t get all hooked
