jaw eased as he snuggled her closer. ‘Can I let you in on a little secret?’
‘Shoot.’
‘I was worried about you being thrown in the deep end meeting the whole clan at once.’
He paused, his arms tightening as if he expected her to bolt. ‘Facing Sandy, Monica and Jodi in all their nosy glory. You’ve been a real trouper.’
Her heart clenched. He looked so happy she’d passed the family test with flying colours, when in fact the last few hours had served to deepen the chasm between them.
She’d never felt so torn, wanting him so badly it hurt, knowing she couldn’t give him what he wanted.
And, as painful as it was, seeing him with his nieces and nephews today showed her that no matter what he said, having only her would eventually, one day, not be enough.
Pain sliced through her, swift and deep, cutting her determination, weakening her resolve, at the thought of letting him go. But there was no other way. How could she not? She loved him that much. He’d once let her go to follow her dream, she’d have to do the same for him no matter how much it would tear her apart.
‘Oh-oh, you’ve got that face again.’
She managed a small smile while her insides churned with dread at the enormity of what she had to do.
‘What face?’
‘This one.’
He pulled a tight-lipped, frowning, cross-eyed face, drawing a chuckle from her.
‘I call it your “thinking too much” face.’
He smoothed a finger between her brows, his touch soothing, as she wished he could erase the ache in her heart as easily as the lines from her forehead. ‘It always worries me. It means you’re deliberating something big or going to deliver news I won’t like. Correct?’
He knew her too well. However, now wasn’t the time or place to get into what she was thinking.
‘I’m just tired. The café was jam-packed last night, and I had to do some inventory ordering after we closed.’
‘And you’re exhausted after letting the twins clamber all over you. I know the feeling.’
He leaned closer and brushed a kiss across her lips, a soft, lingering kiss that touched her soul. ‘You really were amazing today. Thank you.’
‘For what?’
Drawing back, he scanned her face as if searching for an answer she couldn’t give him.
‘For making an effort, for being here, but most of all for being you.’
Her breath caught at the adoration in his gaze, and, at that moment, with the squeals of excited children, the low rumble of desultory conversation on a warm Sunday afternoon, and the distant cackle of a kookaburra in the background, she knew. Setting him free would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do.
She loved this man, heart and soul, always had, always would. Staring into his handsome face with its bronzed skin, crinkly lines around the eyes and perpetual smile, she knew he was her future, her destiny. And she had to walk away from him…
Trying to ignore the dull ache spreading through her chest, squeezing her heart till she thought it would burst, robbing her lungs of air and the ability to speak, she closed her eyes, unable to bear looking into his beautiful eyes one second longer.
‘Hey, that was a compliment,’ he said, brushing her hair off her face, the slight rasp of his calloused fingers sending a shiver down her spine.
‘I know.’
She had no option but to open her eyes, to let him glimpse the devastation ripping her apart.
‘You’re crying! Are you okay? Hell, I knew I should’ve eased you into meeting them one family at a time rather than something this big.’
She shook her head, blinking rapidly, and laid a stilling hand on his arm as he pulled away.
‘No, your family is great. It’s just the exhaustion catching up with me.’
Lame, lame, lame, but what could she say? I love you more than life itself, but I have to let you go?
Concern slashed a vertical indentation between his brows. ‘You know, I’m not buying that. But I’m not going to push it, not here.’
Grabbing her hand, he pointed to the front of the house. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
‘But what about saying goodbye?’
‘Think you’re up to it?’
He brushed away her tears with his thumb, the depth of his caring doing little to stem the flood she was barely managing to hold back.
‘Give me a few minutes inside, then I’ll pop out, thank your family, and then we can leave.’
‘You sure?’
She wasn’t sure about anything: about the sanity of what she was contemplating, about how she could walk away from him and, most of all, how long it would take her to pick up the pieces of her life without him in it.
‘Uh-huh. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be back to say goodbye.’
‘Okay.’
He dropped his arms, and she instantly had the urge to burrow back into them, craving the warmth and security of his embrace.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head and squared her shoulders. It wouldn’t do her any good to think like that anymore. Blane wouldn’t be around much longer, and the thought fragmented her heart into painful little pieces all over again.
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