I’m going to lose him.”
Jake thought long and hard on how he was going to phrase this. Finally, he said, “I don’t know what you want me to do. I thought the point of adult baptism was to allow the young adults in the community to make their own choices.”
“It is...” She paused. “It is. But this is far beyond that. Samuel is a different person since his friend Elmer died. He has become withdrawn. He won’t even let me in his room.”
“Samuel has suffered tremendous loss.” Jake leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair. “Be there for him when he comes around.”
Nodding, Rebecca reached down and picked up her coat, tote bag and umbrella from the floor and balanced them on her lap, as if ready to spring out of his office. She glanced toward the door. “I hear a lot of things at the diner. About both college students and the Amish doing drugs.” She traced the handle of the umbrella. “I fear I’m going to lose him, too.”
“Have you asked Samuel if he’s into drugs?” Jake angled his head, trying to meet her eye. He found himself fascinated by her wide brown eyes and full lips, sweet and innocent without any hint of makeup.
“Yes.” She finally lifted her eyes, deep with worry. “He told me no, but I don’t know if I can trust him to be truthful.”
Jake settled back in his chair, weighing how much to say. “Drugs and alcohol are an issue in the Amish community, but I don’t know if Samuel is involved. You need to talk to your son and keep talking. It’s a rough time in a young Amish man’s life. He has a tough decision looming ahead of him. He needs your support.”
A look akin to disgust wrinkled her nose. “Are you lecturing me in the Amish ways?”
“I’m trying to...” What exactly was he trying to do? Avoid helping her for fear of alienating Samuel? For fear of giving her the wrong advice?
Rebecca held up her hand, stood and took a step toward the door, her frustration evident by her pinched mouth. “I don’t know why I thought you’d understand. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” Did she suspect he was holding something back?
“Would you have been satisfied if I had told you your son’s a drug addict?”
Rebecca eyes flared wide, an emotion straddling fear and my-worst-nightmare-come-true flickered in their depths. “Is he?”
“I have no reason to suspect he is.”
“Can you find out and tell me? Maybe he’ll confide in you. I have lost much in my life—I can’t bear to lose Samuel, too. If he’s made a bad choice, I need to help him before it’s too late. But I want to do it without getting law enforcement involved. If he ended up in prison...” She shook her head. “I’m holding on dearly to all that I have left.”
“I don’t want to lose Samuel’s trust. I can only encourage you to keep trying to reach him.” Jake already knew the devastation of his meddling in Elmer’s life.
“Thanks for your time.” Rebecca’s words came out clipped. She spun around and stormed out of the office.
Jake sat for a moment, replaying the conversation in his head. A subtle thump started behind his eyes. He stood and returned to his chair behind the desk and dialed his assistant’s cell phone number. Tommy picked up on the first ring, his voice hushed. “What’s up?”
“How much do you know about Samuel Fisher? Is he big into the drug or alcohol scene?” His assistant had grown up in the Amish community and had left to earn his GED and eventually go to college. His background gave Tommy an “in” to the sometimes rowdy youngie scene and made him a valuable asset to Jake and his research.
A long pause stretched across the line. For a minute, Jake had thought he’d lost the connection. “Is that who that Amish lady was? Samuel’s mom?”
“Yes.”
“And his mem—” the word sounded foreign on Tommy’s lips, mocking almost “—thinks he’s into drugs and alcohol? Is that why she stopped by?”
“She’s worried about him.” Jake absentmindedly doodled an R on the piece of paper in front of him and traced over and over it. “She wants to know what I know about him.”
Tommy laughed. “Far as I know, Samuel’s a good kid. I’d vote him most likely to bend a knee before he’s twenty-one.”
“Yeah? You really think he’ll choose to be baptized into the Amish community?” Jake felt reassured. “Rebecca Fisher seems to think he might be in some kind of trouble.”
“Nah, not Samuel.” A rustling sounded over the line, like from a gust of wind as if he were still walking.
“Aren’t you home yet?”
Tommy laughed. “What? Are you my keeper? I had some errands to run.” Wind muffled his words again. “Let Mrs. Fisher know Samuel’s a good kid. He’s not into drugs or anything. Not as far as I know.”
“She’ll be relieved.”
“Hey, anything else?” Tommy asked. “I have to run.”
“No. Thanks.” Jake ended the call and tossed aside the pencil. He stood and grabbed his coat from the hook. If he hurried, he might catch up with Rebecca.
Give her some good news for once.
* * *
Rebecca ran down the hall and out the door. Behind her, the heavy door slammed shut, like all her hopes of reaching her son. She stopped short and blinked against the soft mist of rain as she fumbled to open her umbrella. She strode forward, deciding getting wet was the least of her problems.
She had tried everything. Absolutely everything. The professor had been her last hope to uncover what was bothering her son. At the diner, she had noticed how comfortable Samuel seemed chatting with the professor. She had hoped he knew something that would help her reconnect with her son or at least intervene if the professor could pinpoint her son’s troubles.
But this not knowing... This was more painful.
Maybe the professor did know something and he wasn’t sharing.
Even if he did, what could she do with the information? Samuel paid her no mind.
A strong wind whipped around her long dress and her thick stockings underneath. Not for the first time, she muttered evil thoughts about Willard. He was destroying his family long after his death. The leaves on the trees rustled in the wind, setting her nerves on edge. She released her coat from her tight hold and stuffed one arm, then the other, into the sleeves, juggling her tote bag and umbrella. She ran, fighting back the tears.
She couldn’t lose Samuel. His little sisters would be devastated. She would be devastated.
She swiped at the tears.
She hadn’t realized how tightly she had clung to this last measure. To the notion that Professor Burke would help her.
As a young married woman, Willard had isolated Rebecca and she had felt increasingly alone. She had been ruined
