She handed him her hired driver’s business card. She’d call him from the diner whenever she needed a ride. The professor paused a moment when she handed him the card.
Rebecca wanted to cling desperately to the hope the professor had offered her. Samuel is likely to be baptized. But deep in her heart she knew something was wrong. Very, very wrong. She had once heard her friend Hannah describe it as a mother’s intuition.
Rebecca feared Samuel was being consumed by the dark shadow his father had cast upon his family.
Rebecca shuddered. She feared that she, too, would forever stand in the dark.
The wheels of Jake’s truck made a rhythmic thrum-thrum-thrum noise on the road. He usually cranked tunes whenever he was in the car, a surefire method to drown out his thoughts. However, he doubted Rebecca would appreciate his penchant for classic rock. And singing along.
Rebecca shifted in her seat, partially facing him. “I appreciate your kindness in driving me home.” She tapped her fingers on the seat next to her, as if working up the nerve to say something. “I’d appreciate if you left any mention of our conversation out of any publications.”
A sharp dagger twisted in his gut. Jake had prided himself on respecting the Amish and portraying them in the best possible light. But as a professor, he always built off the facts. He never twisted his findings to suit his hypothesis.
“The newspaper quoted you in the paper after Willard’s arrest,” she said accusingly when he didn’t answer. “You shouldn’t have mentioned me or my children.”
“I only mentioned your family in brief. I focused on Willard. You have to appreciate how curious outsiders would be.”
“All too well. Unfortunately, curiosity didn’t stop with the outsiders,” Rebecca muttered.
A muscle ticked in Jake’s jaw. “Please forgive me for being blunt, but that was a fascinating case. It rarely happens that an Amish person commits murder.” He had respected her privacy. He had seen the sadness in her eyes and he would have felt like a vulture—like nothing more than a bloodthirsty journalist hot on the trail of a story—if he had approached her for an interview. Instead, he was careful to feed the news media facts regarding the Amish. It was only logical considering his position at the university and his proximity to Apple Creek.
“While you hide behind your fancy job at the university, I’m stuck living the life of a murderer’s widow. How do you think people look at me in town? It’s not like I can avoid their curious stares. I had to get a job at the diner to make ends meet.”
“The Amish community is known for their forgiveness.” Here he was spouting out his Amish research to her, an Amish woman. He did realize the ridiculousness of it, but he was struggling for something to say.
“Many have been kind, but I see the looks of pity in their eyes. It’s painful. A few have acted out...like perhaps tonight.”
“The sheriff wasn’t able to get any leads on the previous incidents?”
“No,” Rebecca whispered, “but once we stopped calling the sheriff, the number of incidents died down. I thought we were in the clear.”
“Do you suspect your Amish neighbors?”
She shrugged. “It’s hard to imagine...any of this, really.”
“Now you fear if Samuel leaves the Amish community, the judgment from your neighbors will be unbearable.”
“The look when I gaze into a mirror will be unbearable. I want my old life back. Before Willard lost his way.”
Jake adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “I’ll be there for Samuel as much as he allows me to be.” Samuel had grown quieter of late with him, too. “Maybe he’s struggling with his decision to remain Amish.”
“He is acting out. Hanging around with boys who drive cars, skipping out early on church service, listening to loud music...” She let her words trail off, perhaps hoping he’d confirm the list or perhaps add to it. “Maybe his friends are leading him astray.”
“Perhaps.”
Rebecca huffed her frustration. “Samuel has not had the typical Amish upbringing. His mother died when he was a young boy. He had an overly strict father who was killed in jail after his murder conviction. That, I fear, has shaped him more than anything. More than any positive influence on my part.”
“My interviews with Samuel show he was confident that testifying against his father was the right thing to do.”
“After his father’s death...” She stopped to compose herself, then continued, “...Samuel retreated away from everyone. Then this summer, after Elmer’s death, he got worse. Far worse. I’m afraid soon I’ll have lost him for gut.”
She faced him squarely. “Perhaps you can talk to him about his father? I can’t bear to do it. You could convince Samuel that he did the right thing. By stopping his father, he undoubtedly saved lives.” Hope laced her soft voice.
“I can.” Jake turned up her driveway as dusk gathered. He thought he saw a light go off in the basement. Maybe it was the reflection of his headlights in the uneven glass of the narrow basement windows.
“I have built a solid relationship with Samuel and a group of other young Amish men. I can talk to them. I’ll encourage him to come to you. But I must be cautious about how much I reveal. They are young adults. He’s at the age where he needs to be making his own decisions. Living his own life. And dealing with consequences on his own.”
Rebecca unbuckled her seat belt and pushed the door open a fraction. She bowed her head, leaving him studying the top of her bonnet. “Thank you.” She twisted to get out of the car.
“Let me walk you to the door.”
She held up her hand in refusal.
“The house is dark.” Now he was second-guessing himself. Had he seen a light snap off in the basement?
“Samuel is...out.” The statement seemed more a question. “My daughters are visiting my brother, Mark, spending the night. I’ll turn on a lamp once I get inside. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure? The incident on campus must have rattled you. I think we should’ve called the sheriff.”
“Neh, I want to put the night behind me. We’ve had enough trouble out here.”
Jake pushed his truck door open. “I’m escorting you to the door.”
“Neh.” Rebecca shook her head for emphasis. “I’ve been on my own for well over a year now. I don’t need a man to walk me to the door. I’m not looking to bring more trouble into my life. If Samuel trusts you and is talking to you, I want that to continue. You’re right. I shouldn’t have interfered. And—” a shy smile tilted the corners of her mouth “—I don’t want to give my neighbors another reason to gossip.” Rebecca ran her fingers down the ties of her bonnet. “You can find me at the diner if there’s anything about Samuel you
